I said it, but it’s not going to affect the picture you have of yourself.
What would happen, though, if a cardiologist in a white coat made this statement to you? The information would go into the component of your subconscious mind that maintains the image of who you are, and it would affect that image. In no time at all you would see yourself as a person with a weak heart.
BYPASS THE CRITICAL FILTER
Let’s understand how the critical filter works so you can see that you can sidestep it and create the changes you desire.
The critical filter refutes information based on old knowledge.
Children don’t yet have a lot of information, so they have a very slight critical filter. They are easily affected by their parents’ statements of what is right or wrong. Their impressionability can work for good or ill.
When parents tell children something about themselves – good or bad – they will accept it, because they don’t have enough information to refute it. Children borrow their parents’ critical filter in order to make judgment calls.
As children mature, their own critical filter becomes stronger and stronger. But certain things will still bypass it, such as information from an authority, as in my example above. That’s one of the rules of the critical filter – that you don’t refute an authority.
Let’s say you have developed some negative views of yourself, of the world, or of certain situations, views that are now on the inside, having gotten past the critical filter. You now associate certain people, situations, yourself, and your life with these negative views. The connections between feelings and events are locked in and protected by your subconscious mind, on the other side of your critical filter, and your life runs accordingly.
By reading this book, you may have decided that it’s time to go in and change these negative feelings. Your challenge is going to be to bypass the critical filter to see the changes that are needed and to make them.
Taking Control of Your Imagination
Again, the secret lies in your imagination.
The reason is simple. If you imagine something, and you can identify with it, you thereby utilize your conscious mind. To add the feelings you want to experience, you access the emotions that are locked away in your subconscious mind.
By attaching the feelings that you choose to attach, you can circumvent the critical filter. Over time, you can get good at this. You can start to slowly but surely change associations in your mind and give yourself feelings of calmness, security, safety, or confidence. Then you can begin to associate these feelings with various events and situations in your life as you see fit.
MAKE IT REAL
How Would You Like Your Life to Look?
Let’s bring this discussion down to the practical level. As just discussed, the first part of creating emotional change is being able to imagine your desired outcome. If you can imagine something, you can slowly but surely begin to create the feelings to go with it. Attaching the feelings you want to attach requires you to bypass the critical filter. This is what will enable you to change the associations and the feelings connected in your subconscious mind. And by changing them, you change the way you feel and experience the world.
EXERCISE
Imagining How You Would Like Your Life to Look
List ten vivid images of situations you want to experience in which all your limitations have disappeared. As you envision a situation, also imagine the new, more positive feelings you want to associate with this new reality. Be clear on the emotions associated with each one. For example:
I get up in the morning (situation)
and
I feel strong and confident (emotions).
All ten should be written and expressed in this way.
To help you get started, consider the following situations that many people say they would like to change.
• I speak in public and I feel…
• I am sitting at my desk and I feel…
• I talk to prospects and I feel…
• I get up in the morning and I feel…
• I am doing a sales presentation and I feel…
The entire exercise should take you five to ten minutes. The best way to do it is to spend somewhere between thirty to sixty seconds on each of these images, with your eyes closed. Studies show that when you close your eyes, it’s much easier for your mind to create its imagery work. This approach will help you to successfully bypass the critical filter and see these associations taking root in your life.
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Your goal is to be so clear about where you’re heading that you can get past any obstacles that might block you from moving forward.
Working with Your Imagination and Brain
We all carry emotions that we’re not aware of.
Someone might touch us on the shoulder the way someone touched us when we were sad, and all of a sudden we experience sadness. It has nothing to do with what we’re doing; it’s just an outside connection that was developed at one time.
Someone may look at us the way another person looked at us when we were feeling bad and – boom – we feel bad.
It’s extremely important to be focused and know where you want to go in order not to be derailed by these obstacles.
When you’re asleep at night, your critical filter relaxes. That’s why you can dream about doing things that don’t make logical sense. There’s no filter saying, “That doesn’t make any sense.” By the same token, when you’re awake, closing your eyes is a way you can tap in to that benefit and put the filter to sleep. It will strengthen your ability to imagine and heighten your ability to access your emotions.
If your goal is to wake up calm in the morning, then, before bedtime, spend thirty to sixty seconds imagining yourself getting up and being calm. Really juice your senses. See it as real, with color, sound, feeling, and smell. After thirty to sixty seconds of doing this, move on to your next picture until you have completed all ten.
At first, you may not see or feel things too clearly. With time, it will get better. This is how you start to take control of your imagination and your brain, and move in the direction you want to move.
As you proceed through the program, you’re going to develop the skill and take control of the imagination part of your brain so you can access all the amazing feelings you already have within yourself on a day-to-day basis.
In my clinical work, when I initially ask people to do this, 99.9% formulate their intentions this way: I do x and I don’t feel anxious.
That doesn’t work. That’s the equivalent of getting into the taxi and saying, “Don’t take me here; don’t take me there.” This isn’t language the brain can understand. You’re not telling the brain where you want to go. It’s like giving your brain the instruction, “Don’t think of the color blue.” We all know that will