Overcoming Failure. Marcia Wieder

doing our dream in.

      SABOTAGING PATTERNS

      Here are eight sabotaging patterns frequently used to stop our dreams. Each one is followed by recommended solutions or sug- gestions for not doing this anymore or for trying another way.

      Map them onto your life and your dreams. Learn to recog- nize the subtle and obvious ways you are stopping yourself from living your dreams and passions and consider trying something else. Practice empowering behavior and enjoy the process of becoming more proficient in getting what you want.

      Sabotage #1: Negative self-talk and self-doubt are useless. This is the art of telling yourself all the things that are wrong with you and/or your idea, and all the reasons why you can’t have what you want. This is the voice of your critic and for many of us this can be a very loud voice.

      Our attitudes and beliefs determine the choices and deci- sions we make. If you believe something is possible, you’ll take a stab at it, but if you tell yourself that something is impossi ble, you probably won’t.

      Suggestion: Our thoughts create our reality. Change your mind as well as what your are essentially saying and you will change your reality. Listen to yourself. Hear what you are thinking and hear what you are saying. Is this empowering you, moving you forward or holding you back?

      Design one core belief that if you believed it, would help you move forward on your dream. Write it down on Post-it notes and put them on your bathroom mirror, refrigerator door, car dashboard, day planner and telephone. For one week, practice believing this new belief, especially when you hear your self-doubt shouting at you.

      The practice of creating a new belief is the first step in changing it. If you can’t change something you are left with only two other choices: accepting the situation or leaving it. Change your beliefs, change your thoughts and you will change your reality. Practice hearing the voice within that acknowledges, rather than criticizes.

      Sabotage #2: Putting your fears into your dream will kill the dream. Fear is part of your present reality. Here and now, you may have fear or doubt about your dream but by projecting that fear into the dream, you are sabotaging any possibility you have of moving forward. If you are using “what if” think- ing, you are creating a false barrier.