Interpersonal Behavior
Introduction to African society
One hand alone cannot wash itself.
2A. Savage 1997:12.
Although the African continent encompasses many countries, ethnic groups, languages, and histories, there are many commonalities. These allow for continent-wide generalizations. The likenesses and differences are similar to those described by Daniel Pipes for a different context: “The Muslim world can be compared to playing cards. Each hand that is dealt is different from the others, yet all the hands clearly come from the same deck.”3 There are differences between hands, i.e., individual African cultures, yet there are commonalities that distinguish them from all other cultures.
3 Pipes 1985.
Some authors have treated elite families separately from the general population, but we will here treat elites and non-elites together, since they have much in common. As most people who fall into the elite category have come from the masses in the current or a recent generation, they carry with them behaviors described here that are common to most Africans. Therefore, in this chapter we will present behaviors and characteristics common to both the general population and the elites.
African cultures focus on human relationships, developing them to great complexity. This chapter describes some of the many social relationships common in Africa.
Success in any endeavor that involves Africans requires building good personal relationships. This applies in business as well as with individuals. Showing respect is a salient theme in most African contexts. It carries a high value that many Westerners are not accustomed to. This applies especially to those who come from societies which have ideals of equality and “fairness.” In Africa, respect must be shown in relation to individuals, hierarchies, titles, ranks, positions, and age.
Africans traditionally lived materially simple lives. This was typical of pre-industrial subsistence agricultural societies everywhere, not only in Africa. Although African societies were materially simple, they developed very complex relationships, with both kin and non-kin. With urbanization and the expansion of roads, electrification, public transportation, the market economy, and, more recently, television and cell phones, life has become more complex, even in rural areas. In urban contexts, African life has become as complex as life anywhere. Yet, in spite of life becoming increasingly complex materially, African society has maintained social relationships as the primary focus and interest. “Within [this] complexity, interpersonal relations take precedence, in everything from working with government officials to making purchases from vegetable vendors.”4 For expatriates in Africa, connecting with people on a human basis is the key to success, whether in business, development work, or in any other field.
4 Richmond and Gestrin 1998:90.
One way to become more “human” is to suggest in some contexts that your friends give you a name in the local language. This applies especially to village or neighborhood situations where the expatriate will have a continuing presence. I have several times been given a name in the local language when doing anthropological research. This has had several benefits. My name placed me within the kinship system, placing me in the social hierarchy so that people knew where I fit in their society. I was now part of a particular kin group. My name was also easily pronounced and remembered. It conferred on me the obligations and privileges that accompanied my status. People enjoyed playing the game of calling me by my local name, knowing full well it was a fiction and any kinship it afforded me was not real, yet it really did give me a place in their society. I had become part of it, as I had a meaningful name and was a member of a clan. To a significant degree, people knew how to relate to me as one of themselves, not as a mere foreigner.
Expatriates often misconstrue the emphasis and time spent on socializing by Africans as a sign of laziness or lack of purpose. This is far from the truth. Richmond and Gestrin explain that social relationships build personal understanding and trust that are requisite to any on-going endeavor. This is especially important in Africa, where interdependence is an ideal. Mutual obligations are required for success. Thorough discussion and understanding of the matter at hand is necessary for achieving the desired long-term outcomes. This too requires socializing. Often, in such cases, there is really no dividing line between the social and business aspects of a program. “In the village Africans sit under a tree and chat before deliberating or doing business. In the city they also sit and chat prior to doing deals, not under a tree but at their offices or over food and drink.”5
5Ibid., 127.
Greetings and conversation
Greet all people one meets—even complete strangers.
Yoruba proverb6
6 Ibid., 91.
Greetings are of supreme importance in Africa. The travel literature repeats this point for all countries across the continent. Especially in villages where life is more leisurely than in cities, greetings between two individuals can last many minutes. The value placed on greetings is perhaps best illustrated by short stories in which a character fails to greet others, and it is taken as a demonstration of ill will, or even a curse against others. Expatriates become easily annoyed at this practice, as people seem to go on endlessly about health, all family members, the household, job or work, and children. In some areas, greetings include the well being of relatives and close friends, and even of livestock, if appropriate! There are times and places where some subjects are not enquired about: husband, wife or wives, the number of children in the family, or pregnancy (even if obvious) are common examples. Such taboo subjects sometimes are thought to be related to bad luck or the evil eye.
Judith Irvine found greetings to be formulaic among the Wolof of Senegal. That is, predictable routines were followed to the extent that she could write formulas and rules that people unconsciously followed, often repeating phrases and news that were already well known to both parties.7 The main point of such greetings is to demonstrate mutual respect and concern. Extended greetings are also a source of pleasure to those who grow up with them, much to the amazement of expatriates.
7 Irvine 1989.
Among the Igbo of Nigeria, Nwoye writes:
Not greeting, or even greeting in culturally inappropriate ways, can lead to a negative assessment of a person’s character. Such a person is regarded as either ‘proud’ or not a good person. It can also be said of him/her that na azuro ya azu ‘he/she is not properly socialized’. Part of the early socialization of the Igbo child consists of the proper ways of greeting…Perhaps, because Igbo culture does not operate non-verbal demonstrations of respect or deference like bowing…it makes up for this by insistence on the proper execution of verbal greetings….Failure to greet is indicative of pride, bad manners or an expression of ill-will towards one party or the existence of a strained relationship between the two parties. The warmth of a greeting, its duration and content, are all indexical of the degree of relationship existing between the interactants.8
8 Nwoye 1993:37, 47–48.
To rush a greeting, or to fail to adequately greet someone, can be extremely rude. Greetings are necessary even when asking directions, when traveling, or shopping. Before asking a passerby or shopkeeper for directions or information, the enquirer needs to greet the individual. Even when