Answers: 1 (f), 2 (j), 3 (h), 4 (s), 5 (b), 6 (r), 7 (o), 8 (c), 9 (p), 10 (n), 11 (e), 12 (a), 13 (g), 14 (u), 15 (q), 16 (l), 17 (m), 18 (t), 19 (d), 20 (i), 21 (k)
Stirring Opening Lines of 11 National Anthems
1 ALGERIA We swear by the lightning that destroys, By the streams of generous blood being shed By the bright flags that wave That we are in revolt …
2 BOLIVIA Bolivians, propitious fate has crowned our hopes …
3 BURKINA FASO Against the humiliating bondage of a thousand years Rapacity came from afar to subjugate them For a hundred years. Against the cynical malice in the shape Of neocolonialism and its petty local servants, Many gave in and certain others resisted.
4 GUINEA-BISSAU Sun, sweat, verdure and sea, Centuries of pain and hope; This is the land of our ancestors.
5 LUXEMBOURG Where slow you see the Alzette flow, The Sura play wild pranks …
6 OMAN O Lord, protect for us Our Majesty the Sultan And the people in our land, With honour and peace. May he live long, strong and supported, Glorified by his leadership. For him we shall lay down our lives.
7 PARAGUAY To the peoples of unhappy America, Three centuries under a sceptre oppressed. But one day, with their passion arising, ‘Enough, ’ they said and broke the sceptre.
8 SENEGAL Everyone strum your koras, Strike the balafons, The red lion has roared, The tamer of the bush with one leap, Has scattered the gloom.
9 TAIWAN The three principles of democracy our party does revere.
10 URUGUAY Eastern landsmen, our country or the tomb!
11 USSR Unbreakable union of freeborn republics, Great Russia has welded forever to stand; Thy might was created by the will of our peoples, Now flourish in unity, great Soviet land!
Dr Demento’s 10 Worst Song Titles of All Time
Radio personality Dr Demento’s private collection of more than 200,000 records is said to be one of the world’s largest. He puts his library of discs to use on ‘The Dr Demento Show’, which is heard on 200 radio stations in the US and on the Armed Forces Radio Network.
What’s a really bad song title? One that’s offensive or inarticulate, I’d say, or one that doesn’t readily identify the song it’s attached to (Bob Dylan did that for kicks in the Sixties). I think we can leave those alone for now.
Then there are the sort of song titles (often from country music) that are often rather clever, to be truthful, but induce the same sort of groans that often greet a really good pun when heard for the first time.
Some of those are included on this list, along with others that induce groans for altogether different reasons. Qualifiers: 1) This list does not duplicate my two earlier Book of Lists contributions. 2) All these songs have been heard at least once on ‘The Dr Demento Show’ (I actually like most of these songs).
After each song title the composer credits are shown first (in parentheses) followed by the artist on the recording played on the show.
1 BOOGER ON MY BEER MUG (Dr Peter Rizzo) – Sneaky Pete
2 GROPE ME GENTLY, AIRPORT SECURITY GUARD (Larry Weaver) – Larry Weaver
3 WHO PUT THE BENZEDRINE IN MRS MURPHY’S OVALTINE (Harry Gibson) – Harry the Hipster. (Inspired by the Bing Crosby hit ‘Who Put The Overalls In Mrs Murphy’s Chowder’.)
4 THE FIVE CONSTIPATED MEN OF THE BIBLE (Scott Hendricks) – Axel the Sot
5 THE DAY TED NUGENT KILLED ALL THE ANIMALS (Wally Pleasant) – Wally Pleasant
6 I’M SELLING MOM’S URINE ON eBAY (Tommy Womack) – Tommy Womack
7 HE WENT TO SLEEP – THE HOGS ATE HIM (Ray Starr, N. Nath, G.C. Redd) – The Stanley Brothers
8 FLUSHED YOU FROM THE TOILETS OF MY HEART (J.D. Blackfoot, Johnny Durzo) – J.D. Blackfoot. (Pronounced ‘hort’. Not to be confused with the marginally less groan-inducing ‘Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart’, a different song, written by Jack Clement and popularised by Johnny Cash.)
9 HE PUT IN A BAR IN THE BACK OF HIS CAR (And He’s Driving Himself To Drink) (Sheldon Schwartz, Fred Wolfe, Jules Volk) – Georgie’s Tavern Band
10 I STILL WRITE YOUR NAME IN THE SNOW (Chet Atkins, Billy Edd Wheeler) – Chet Atkins. (Wheeler is also known for his eulogy to an outhouse,