There are several things you can do during your first meeting with an attorney to reduce the pain, conflict, and cost of your divorce. Understanding these issues can help you overcome the obstacles that make divorce more difficult than it needs to be.
You, not a lawyer, should be in control of your divorce. Here’s how: Arm yourself with knowledge and information. In chapter 1, “Get Money Wise” (page 3) outlines the financial documents that you will need to get divorced. Bring them to your first meeting. Your lawyer bills by the hour. From the very first meeting, use the time wisely. The worst approach is to go see a lawyer and just ask for a divorce without any information or preparation. In essence, you are asking the lawyer to take charge of your divorce — and your life — and it may not matter to the lawyer if your case becomes some sort of uncontrolled battle that leads to uncontrolled legal fees. That’s great for the lawyer’s bank account. The only way to protect yourself is to take control of your divorce.
Have a list of questions. Be specific and focused. Do not use your lawyer as a therapist. Nothing runs up the legal bill faster than a client who spends time venting their emotions. Vent about your ex with a friend or with a therapist, who charges much less. Do not send your attorney every email and text between you and your spouse. Your lawyer will charge you for the time spent reading these, and most of them will probably be redundant.
INSIDER TIP
Before every meeting or phone call with your attorney, repeat this mantra, “My lawyer bills by the hour.” Make every minute matter.
Interview three lawyers. And before the interview, ask whether you will be charged for the initial consultation. Some attorneys charge for the initial meeting, others do not. Ask the questions outlined below. Then — consult your gut. You will be working closely with this person over the course of the next year. They will guide you through what will be one of the most challenging experiences of your life. You need to trust and respect their counsel. And you need to get along. If you connect with your lawyer and use your time to ask prepared, thoughtful questions, they will answer your phone calls and emails sooner and listen to you and what you want. You want a lawyer who is honest and direct — who can tell you when what you want can be accomplished and when it can’t, and provide solutions to seemingly intractable problems. You want a lawyer who won’t stir up conflict to create unnecessary work to pad their bill. In short, you want a lawyer who is looking out for your best interests.
QUESTIONS TO ASK THE LAWYER
• How many years have you practiced family law? Many lawyers claim to be family law lawyers, but they do not have much actual experience practicing in this area. Experience is key.
• How many divorces have you handled? You want a lawyer who has a track record handling divorces.
• What is the average length of time between filing for divorce and resolution? How long does your average case take? Most cases should be resolved within a year.
• What percentage of your cases go to trial? This should be a small number.
• How many cases have you tried? You want a lawyer who knows what they are doing in a courtroom, but not one that tries every case. Most cases should settle.
• How much do you charge per hour? Find out the going rate in your area by inquiring through the interview process and asking your divorced friends. Remember that just because a lawyer charges more does not mean that they are better.
• What is your retainer? This is the deposit the lawyer will require to begin work on your case. Again, find out what the going retainer is where you live. Some lawyers will split it in half to begin work on your case. Ask.
• When will I receive an invoice and how do you handle billing disputes? You should receive an invoice each month that clearly explains each task and the time spent. Questions about the bill should be handled immediately.
• Can I pay by credit card? Some lawyers won’t do this because the credit card companies charge a fee, which is a deduction from what the lawyer receives. But it is a convenience and sometimes a necessity for clients.
• When do you recommend using formal discovery? That is, depositions, requests for production of documents, interrogatories, and so on. Formal discovery is rarely needed in family law because the parties are required to turn everything over in their financial disclosures. However, many lawyers like to take unnecessary discovery to pad their bill. Be wary of this one!
• Will I need a forensic accountant, and if so, who do you recommend? If separate funds were used toward the acquisition of property that you and your spouse own jointly, you will probably need a forensic accountant to trace those funds. If you or your spouse own a business, you may need a forensic accountant to conduct an income analysis. Find out which forensics the attorney works with and ask to meet for a consultation (see “How a Forensic Accountant Can Help,” page 176).
You may be asking yourself whether you really need a financial adviser if you’re hiring a divorce lawyer. Quite frankly, it depends on the size and number of your assets. In simple, straightforward divorces, where the parties have few assets, you do not need a financial adviser. However, if you have significant assets that will be divided in the divorce and that you will then manage, you will want to enlist the help of a certified divorce financial planner. A divorce financial planner can work with you and your attorney to negotiate a divorce settlement that fully addresses your immediate financial needs as well as to avoid long-term financial pitfalls due to poor choices or financial ignorance.
Divorce financial planners can help with the following:
• Create a realistic budget as you move through the divorce process and beyond.
• Educate you on the financial characteristics of your assets, such as tax implications.
• Determine a long-term financial plan for your life as a single adult.
Working with you and your family law attorney, a divorce financial planner can forecast the long-term effects of various divorce settlement options, including tax liabilities and benefits; develop detailed household budgets to avoid postdivorce financial struggles; and help you think through what your divorce will realistically cost in the long run.
Hire a Certified Financial Planner
There is a significant difference between a “financial planner,” a “divorce financial planner,” and a “Certified Financial Planner” (CFP), which is a licensed certification. You want to find a Certified Financial Planner who is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA).
The only people who call themselves “financial planners” are those who are not licensed. It is a generic term. Often, it means the “financial planner” is able to sell insurance, and that’s all. Becoming a Certified Financial Planner requires a bachelor’s degree, plus specialized curriculum that takes eighteen months to two years to complete. Candidates currently sit for a seven-hour comprehensive test. A CDFA is licensed by the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA), has additional training, is expert in the financial aspects of the divorce code in their state, and is subject to oversight. Divorce financial planning is a process, not a product.