spousal support, which her husband prepared. He convinced her to accept spousal support of $4,000 per month, terminating after ten years. She gave up her right to half his million-dollar pension, her interest in his business, and permanent spousal support of over $11,000 per month. In short, the churchgoing man she had been married to for over three decades and whom she trusted to look out for her best interests attempted to swindle her out of millions of dollars and her financial security. She finally realized, days before the judgment was entered, that she had given up her future financial security because she had trusted her husband. It took her months of energy and effort, not to mention tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees, to repair the damage and get what was due to her. Do not be naïve. Take steps to locate a good lawyer now.
Finding a good lawyer takes legwork. I suggest asking for referrals and then interviewing at least three divorce lawyers before deciding.
ASK YOUR DIVORCED FRIENDS FOR REFERRALS
An effective way to get information about the lawyers in your community is to ask divorced friends for referrals. Ask the following questions:
• How much did the attorney charge for a retainer (the amount to start the case), and how much did they charge per hour? You will know immediately whether you can afford to retain this lawyer. I am often asked how much it will cost to get divorced. It is impossible to quantify because it depends on how reasonable and how litigious the spouse is. But your lawyer can go to court and request that your husband pay your attorney’s fees (and forensic accountant’s fees) and costs. The court will insist upon evidence that your spouse has the resources to pay both his fees and yours before ordering him to do so. So keep these factors in mind when considering the expense of a lawyer.
• Did the lawyer return their calls and emails within twenty-four hours? You want a responsive attorney.
• How happy was your friend with the amount of support ordered and the division of assets? Happy clients are a good measure of an attorney’s skill.
• How did the lawyer handle issues concerning children? Some lawyers are skilled in this area, and others are not.
• How often did the lawyer go to court and were they effective in obtaining the relief sought? The best attorneys will attempt to resolve issues without going to court and will use court as a last resort, but they will have the skills to obtain what is necessary if the other side is unreasonable.
• Did the lawyer do a good job preparing your friend for court appearances? Court appearances can be emotionally difficult, and you are often put on the spot around a variety of topics. A good lawyer helps clients know what might be coming and how to answer tough questions.
• Will the lawyer allow you to negotiate directly with your husband? Some lawyers will discourage this because they don’t want the case to end. Timing is key here, but if your lawyer has done a good job setting the “guardrails” in the case (for example, had an early victory obtaining temporary support), sometimes a deal can be struck between the parties, without the lawyers’ involvement.
• Did the lawyer send a monthly bill that was easy to understand and in the range anticipated? If not, how did the lawyer handle questions about the bill?
• Does the lawyer have a paralegal or assistant who will handle the clerical tasks at a lower rate than the attorney? This will decrease your legal bill, but still get the job done.
• How long did the divorce take? Most divorces can be finalized in a year or less. If all the attorney’s cases take years to resolve, the lawyer may be dragging them out unnecessarily.
INSIDER TIP
Do not assume that because an attorney charges more or has a fancy office that he or she is a better attorney. Not necessarily so. They may only be better at taking your money!
ASK YOUR THERAPIST FOR REFERRALS
Therapists are an excellent resource for attorney referrals. Their clients often find themselves needing to get divorced, and many therapists will keep a referral list of lawyers and mediators. Usually they will refer you to someone who can be trusted to resolve matters when feasible, rather than ramping up the litigation to pad their bill.
MAKE APPOINTMENTS TO INTERVIEW THREE DIVORCE LAWYERS
When making appointments, give yourself enough time to gather all the financial documents described above (or that the attorney requests). You want to bring these to review at the first meeting.
It can be frightening to face divorce and a potential reduction of income. Especially if you have been out of the workforce raising a family, so much will have changed that the idea of supporting yourself can be immobilizing. The way to deal with this is to 1) hire a good attorney who can get you the time and resources you need to create or obtain the job you want, and 2) consider your ability to earn in the new economy, which may be far greater than you think and provide needed flexibility. Even for my clients who have taken time off to raise their children, there are many opportunities available today to work from home, earn good money, and still be available to your kids. In the chapters that follow, I provide concrete steps to help you create work that meets your needs and suits your lifestyle, including starting your own business.
INSIDER TIP
“Imputed income” is income that you are not earning but that a judge determines you are capable of earning. This is offset against any support you receive.
Clients often ask whether they should delay working or quit their jobs to reduce their income during a divorce. Since both your and your spouse’s incomes are used to calculate support, this is a valid concern. Strategy is important here. It is a mistake to assume that you will get adequate support from your husband to take care of you for the rest of your life in the manner to which you have become accustomed. Support is generally ordered in an amount and for a length of time that allows you to become self-supporting. If you do not work or are underemployed, and if you are healthy and able, the judge will likely order you to undergo a vocational examination to determine how much money you are capable of earning, and the judge will deduct that income from what you will get when making the support determination. Choosing not to work if you can work will probably backfire.
My own case illustrates how strategy matters when considering your work as you face divorce. I had worked as an attorney at a large corporate law firm, but I had taken several years off to raise our children. During the recession, my law firm dissolved, so going back to work there was not an option. However, I knew that if I didn’t have a job when I went to court, the judge would impute the income that I could earn as a lawyer at a corporate firm and deduct that phantom income when determining how much support I would receive from my husband. Before heading to court, I began working as a legal writing teacher at one of the local law schools, and I earned a small income from that. I also took on contract work for a couple of local attorneys, which I could do remotely from home. This allowed me to be available to my children, while also getting back to work and brushing up on my skills. When the judge made the support determination, he used the income I was currently earning, which was far less than what I had earned as a corporate lawyer at a large law firm — and far less than what I knew I would go on to earn later. This strategy worked because I received more support than I would have received if I hadn’t gone back to work. Most importantly, I was also on my way to earning what I needed