happiness and well-being of others. The next step beyond loving-kindness is compassion. Compassion means feeling someone else’s pain or suffering and wishing them to be free of suffering. Of course, this naturally leads to wanting them to be happy. In Mahayana§ Buddhism, loving-kindness and compassion are emphasized as essential qualities of who we truly are, qualities we can uncover within ourselves. Buddhism understands that our nature as loving and compassionate people is innate. In a study at the University of British Columbia, researchers found evidence that humans are inherently altruistic. In their study, toddlers under two years of age experienced “greater happiness when giving treats to others rather than receiving treats themselves.”2 Buddha spoke of ignorance as the source of our suffering: ignorance of our true nature as well as ignorance of the true nature of all that is. This ignorance brings about habitual patterns of ignorance and suffering that can obscure our inherent altruism. We split reality into self and other, subject and object. It’s human nature to seek distinctions. But reality is nondual.‖ There is no separation between various polarities, but rather truth includes and transcends polarities. Our misunderstanding leads us to desire or grasp for those things and people we want and to have an aversion to and push away those things and people we don’t want. This creates habitual patterns: The ego, or our sense of self, devises strategies to try to keep us safe and to get our needs met. But because all phenomena are like a rainbow, what we grasp onto never truly satisfies us.
Therefore, over many centuries, various ways of meditating have been developed to help people uncover and actualize qualities of love in themselves. These meditations spark and develop kindness and compassion in the individual, both for ourselves and for others. This is part of a transformational awakening process for the self — revealing and cultivating the wholesome qualities at the core of who we are. Over time, these kinds of meditations establish us firmly in close contact with our innate love and wisdom while we simultaneously contribute to the larger good. This leads to manifesting compassion in our world. Love on Every Breath is one of these meditations.
Realization
While Love on Every Breath specializes in the cultivation of compassion, it has an aspect of wisdom as well. Buddhism is rooted in the fact that liberation is possible for every human being. It is based on the Buddha’s own experience of transformation from an ordinary person to a fully free and enlightened being. The Buddha taught a spiritual path that enables people to realize the truth regarding the nature of mind and reality and to arrive at a happiness that is not dependent on outer circumstances.
The essence of Buddhist wisdom is to experience and understand the liberating nature of unconditioned awareness. This awareness is empty in nature. It is not a “thing.” It is present but is empty, nonsubstantial. If we look for it, there isn’t a thing we can find, but we do find an aware consciousness. Every Tibetan Buddhist meditation begins with letting go of conceptual thought and opening oneself to the truth of what is, right now in our direct experience. This goes beyond the conceptual mind. In other words, we need to let go of thinking and trying to figure everything out. Thinking cannot bring realization. Realization arises out of nonconceptuality. That is why meditation is so important, and why we let go of thinking (again and again for most of us!) during meditation. It is through meditation, a wholesome mind, and wholesome actions that realization occurs. Love on Every Breath is a creative practice (or kyérim meditation in Tibetan) that makes use of images and sounds with their symbolic meaning and conscious embodiment of love and compassion.
Complete openness and unbiased awareness are the basis of realization and prepare the practitioner for doing Love on Every Breath. We have to let go — to empty ourselves of concepts — in order to open ourselves to reality. The motivation to meditate is love, which seeks to liberate all beings from suffering, including ourselves. Compassion and love are the intention and aspiration for the meditation practice.
The Eight Steps of Love on Every Breath
The Love on Every Breath meditation has eight steps, which are described in part 2. The complete meditation is done as a sitting practice and takes about forty-five minutes to an hour from start to finish, but the practice is highly adaptable and can be easily abbreviated. I call these abbreviated versions “On-the-Spot” meditations, and I have included them for each step along with the main meditation description. These On-the-Spot variations can be done on their own, individually, anywhere, anytime, in a flash. However, even if you want to practice just one step at a time, I suggest reading through all the steps so that you have a complete understanding of the process. In addition, each step discusses the psychological issues that can arise for meditators during each meditation.
In the book’s appendices, I provide the entire Love on Every Breath meditation in both versions — traditional and On-the-Spot — and I also provide a “non-Buddhist” variation for people from other traditions. Each step of the meditation is easily adapted for those of different religions, for those who are nonreligious, and for activists; see “Love on Every Breath for Activists and Those of Other Traditions.”
Here is a brief description of each step. In step 1, Resting in Open Awareness, we let go of everything. We let go of the past and the future; we let go of any and all ideas about ourselves or others; we completely let go into our bodies and into relaxing. We become aware of our mind so that we don’t allow it to wander into thinking. Rather, we stay present with what is. Usually, the easiest way to do this is to join our attention and breath. This anchors us in our body, and in our felt sensations, instead of in our thoughts. This is a doorway into calm abiding. We simply rest in awareness and openness; openness is synonymous with emptiness.
In step 2, Seeking Refuge in Awakened Sanctuary, we go for refuge, for sanctuary, to the awakened ones. This helps create a context and the space for our meditation. We also ask the buddhas and other awakened beings to support us during our meditation.
In step 3, Cultivating Awakened Mind, we engender the altruistic intention to fully awaken to be able to help liberate all beings from suffering.
In the fourth step, Stepping into Love, we invite an awakened being, traditionally Chenrezig (see drawing), the Bodhisattva of Compassion, to be present above the crown of our head.
CHENREZIG, EMBODIMENT OF LOVE
Following our heartfelt prayers, Chenrezig dissolves into ourselves, and we meditate that we become inseparable from Chenrezig. The awakened mind is then established in the heart center as a crystal vajra of light (see drawing on facing page), which is a symbol of the indestructible, pure luminous empty reality of who we truly are, our buddha nature. The vajra is what transforms the suffering — not our individual personality or ego. This saves our ego from saying, “I don’t want to take in more suffering! I have enough of my own!”
THE VAJRA THAT APPEARS IN OUR HEART CENTER
In the fifth step, Taking and Sending for Yourself, we imagine our ordinary self in front of us and contemplate our pain and wounds, meeting ourselves with loving awareness. We breathe in our suffering as a dark smoke-like substance, breathing it right into our heart center. As soon as it touches the vajra of light, we visualize a lightning bolt arising from the vajra, transforming all suffering into white light, symbolic of unconditional awakened love and healing energy. When we are breathing out, this white light goes into the heart center of our ordinary self, where it heals, illuminates, and awakens.
In the sixth step, Taking and Sending for Others, we meditate on a loved one, and gradually we include others. As in the previous step, we contemplate their suffering, big and small, see it as dark smoke, and breathe it into the vajra in our heart. When the suffering touches the vajra, it is instantly transformed. Then, on the out-breath, we imagine the white light going