YOUR strengths. Be YOU. Don’t expect your flaws to fall from you like dried-up flakes of skin. If you’re not meant to do something, let it go. All your life, you’ve been told that you need to get better at what you’re not good at and don’t care about. It may be true that it’s good to try new things out, and that we surprise ourselves when we learn something new, but your time is better served when you focus on what you already do well.
You have so many talents. Prioritize them. You may not know exactly what these talents are—and that’s okay.
You’ll figure it out, and this book will help you.
In the meantime, you don’t have to prove yourself to others. You can’t dance. So, what? Slow dance, low dance, and fast dance like no one’s watching. Do it because the groove hits your spine and moves you in a certain direction. You can’t sing? So what? Belt out Beyoncé, croon to Aretha Franklin (R-E-S-P-E-C-T), and swoon to Alicia Keys with all the strength your off-key voice can muster. Play your music loudly, so the bass thumps in your heart and makes your chest feel like it’s alive. Because it is.
Kenbe,
MJ
“Pledge that you will look in the mirror and find the unique beauty in you.”
—Tyra Banks, American television personality, producer, businesswoman, actress, author, model, and singer
Dear Badass Black Girl,
When you hear the word talent, the first image you see might be something artistic or creative—knowing how to play the drums, dance, paint, cook, or create super rad jewelry. What if you’re not the creative type or the next Maya Moore on the basketball court? What if you’re not like your best friend Deja, whose slender ballerina body moves with a mixture of grace and precision, her hair, dark and soft, swept back in a smooth roll? And what if you really have no idea what you’re good at, and you feel like you carry this heavy uncertainty like an extra body, a cloak, or a mask that hides you from the world?
Of course, there are online tests to help you identify your strengths, but there are three no-fail ways to find out what you’re awesome at. Don’t forget—your best allies are the people who support you and encourage you to excel at what makes you shine.
Kenbe,
MJ
“Never be afraid to sit awhile and think.”
—Lorraine Hansberry, Black American playwright and writer
Dear Badass Black Girl,
Through these steps, you can identify what has worked in the past and what you have going for you right now. Based on these successes, you will be more specific about your goals. Of course, nothing is set in stone—circumstances evolve, and people change. But it’s a good place to start and gain some insight and peace about the direction you’d like to focus on.
Know also that answering these questions is not always easy, and you might come face-to-face with your own trouble spots and weaknesses. You need to resist the temptation to look at yourself too closely through the lens of other people’s strengths. Maybe your friend, Celeste, is carefree and funny. She is liberated. Unlike you—so plain, so boring. You’re anything but plain or boring. You’re just not Celeste.
Girl, stop! Be your own person.
The key is to move forward, and this three-step evaluation helps you do just that.
Kenbe,
MJ
In our community, we understand the beauty of multi-generational families, and, if you’re like me, you’re super tight with your grandparents, your aunties and uncles, and many other members of your extended families.
Many of our Black families are non-traditional in structure. For example, 70 percent of all Black children are raised in single-parent households. And this number gets us a lot of bad press.
The high number of single-parent families in the Black community is caused by many different problems. What do you think some are? How does growing up with one parent or guardian make things different for kid? What kind of community or family support would make it easier for these families to do well?
Google It!
AFFIRMATION: Today is going to be an incredible, beautiful day. Because I am enough. Because I deserve every bit of success I work at to achieve. Because I’m worthy of all my big dreams.
“You’re not obligated to win. You’re obligated to keep trying to do the best you can every day.”
—Marian Wright Edelman, American activist for children’s rights
8 Badass Trailblazers in Entertainment (1900–1969)
1919 Born in 1896 in Mississippi, screen actress and jazz singer Evelyn Preer was the first Black actress to achieve celebrity status. She was nicknamed the “First Lady of the Screen” by her fans in the Black community. Preer starred in the first of her many film appearances in 1919. She was also a talented stage actress who acted in plays by Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde, starred on Broadway, and recorded with notable jazz artists like Duke Ellington. She walked away from a five-film contract with Al Christie Studios after she refused to put on blackface makeup to further darken her complexion.
A wax figure of Josephine Baker is seen on display at Madame Tussauds on December 6, 2013 in New York City.
1934 Josephine Baker left the United States for Paris when she decided she’d had enough of performing for segregated audiences. In Paris, she was known to bring her pet cheetah, Chiquita, with her on stage. Chiquita made things even more exciting for audiences by regularly jumping into the orchestra pit to scare the musicians. Baker was the first Black female lead in a major motion picture, Zouzou, in 1934. During World War II, she was part of the French resistance to Nazi occupation and was awarded a medal by the French government for her work as a spy. She was such a fierce advocate for Civil Rights that, after the death of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., his widow, Coretta Scott King, offered to let her lead the Civil Rights Movement, but Baker refused out of concern for her children’s safety.
A postage stamp printed in the USA showing an image of actress Hattie McDaniel, circa 2006.
1940 Hattie McDaniel is best known for being the first Black woman to win an Academy Award in 1940 for her role in Gone With the Wind. She was also the first Black American woman to sing on the radio in the United States and has not one but TWO stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
A