lost those we loved, Lord – death, disagreement or distance separate us. Our lives have changed, for they are no longer with us. We are grateful for the loves shared, yet deeply mourn their absence. In the midst of our grief, past and present, you know and understand the confusion of our many different thoughts and feelings. We lift those thoughts and feelings to you now. (Silence – at least ten seconds)
Voice 3
We may lose our health, Lord. We feel cheated as body and mind fail us. We may face restricted lives, and the shackles of our times of ill-health are irksome and heavy. We lift our thoughts and feelings to you now. (Silence – at least ten seconds)
Voice 4
We may have lost ourselves, Lord, the people we long to be. We are unsure of who we are, how we should live, and have lost our way. We lift our thoughts and feelings to you now. (Silence – at least ten seconds)
Leader
Suffering Lord, share our pain and give us courage. Healing God, take our grief and ease its ache. May your great love, and the love of those around us, be the balm for grief past, the strength for living today and the hope for our future. Amen.
Love
Leader
Whatever we suffer in life, let us remember the love which never leaves us.
Reader
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35, 37–9, NIV)
Growth
Leader
Only crushed wheat can be made into bread. Only trampled grapes can be made into wine. Loss may crush our lives and grief may trample our spirits, but love and courage can transform them.
We have the choice. We can remain in our hurt, or with divine and human help we can accept, adapt and grow. Even in the most devastating loss we can find the opportunity to create something new, so that the loss need not be futile. As the act of birth is inseparable from the pain of letting go, we can find new birth and growth.
The Rainbow Tree
REV. CATRIONA OGILVIE
Each year, about two Sundays before Christmas, the ‘Rainbow Tree’ starts the service as a bare branch cemented into a tub. During the service, people come forward and tie a ribbon on the tree, one for each person they wish to remember. The ribbons are of all the colours of the rainbow – red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet – to remind all of God’s promises seen in the rainbow.
The tree stays in the church until Easter, when the ribbons are removed and sewn into something for the church.
This whole act reaches a very deep need, because bereaved people find the ‘jolly’ side of Christmas so hard. Many churches hold similar services using small candles for remembrance; but we have found the lasting nature of the ribbons, and the fact they are kept and used year by year, to be especially appreciated.
The tree itself can be viewed on Cumbernauld Old Parish Church website along with some of the things that have been made with each year’s ribbons.
Prayer
May the light of Christ shining through our tears
become the rainbow of Your promise;
shining colours of Your love’s bright presence
in Your grieving, struggling, yet hoping world. (Anon.)
RAF Remembrance Day Service
REV. CAROLINE TAYLOR
St Athernase Church in Leuchars has as its neighbour RAF Leuchars. This prayer was shared at a joint Remembrance Day service at which RAF personnel and their families were present as well as ex-Air Force and Army personnel and civilians.
Photographs
In frames on the mantelpiece or bedside table
Attached by magnets to the fridge
Sent by e-mail
So many photographs, Lord, all of them depicting people who are loved.
Photographs
of men and women in uniform of a style which betrays that they weren’t taken yesterday
of recent passing-out parades showing the optimism and confidence of youth
jet, ship or tank, bleak desert, icy mountain or ruined city in the background.
Combat gear, khaki, Air Force blue, number 1s, off-duty casual
So many photographs, Lord, all of them depicting people who are loved.
And today we remember those whose photographs we treasure because of the good memories they evoke,
even as we sigh for what might have been:
Those who went to war and didn’t come home;
those who came back but not as we had known them;
those who met their deaths on the home front;
those who struggle still to live with their battle scars, emotional or physical.
May your love surround them all, dear God.
And we remember women, children and men in the thick of conflict even as we pray. Keep them safe.
This morning, we include in our prayers the waiting ones at home; those who live daily with the worry of what might happen. For the children who are too young to understand but who know the military life of a father or mother. Surround them all with your peace, Lord.
And we pray for ourselves, dear God, that we, who bear your Son’s name, may be channels of your peace; that the Church be a sign of hope in a divided world.
Like those who have given themselves in the service of their country, we give ourselves to your service, wholeheartedly for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ in whose name we offer these prayers. Amen.
Memorial Stones
REV. DOROTHY ANDERSON
I wrote this memorial piece because I couldn’t find anything in this area of ministry that was particularly helpful in a non-religious context.
We probably all know the various ways we can use stones and pebbles symbolically. This is a version of an Act of Remembrance I took for a group of largely non-churchgoers who wanted to do something to mark the death by suicide of their colleague, a man in his late thirties.
Before the service, at the front of the worship space (or other accessible spot), place a rug or other covering. In the middle, place four or five large stones (available from garden centres).
As the congregation gathers, give them each a small polished stone. Try to make them of different sizes, colours, types (these too can be obtained from garden centres, where they are cheaper than those found in gift shops – but they tend to come in bulk!).
At the appropriate moment, explain:
When you came in, you were given/chose a stone. Look at them now. No two are alike – they are different sizes, shapes, colours and so on. Just as we are.
Yet we are all connected through AB who has died. For in his/her living and in his/her dying, he/she has affected us and brings us together