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Can We Be Friends?
Rebecca
Frech
Our
Sunday
Visitor
Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division
Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.
Huntington, Indiana 46750
Except where noted, the Scripture citations used in this work are taken from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible — Second Catholic Edition (Ignatius Edition), copyright © 1965, 1966, 2006 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Every reasonable effort has been made to determine copyright holders of excerpted materials and to secure permissions as needed. If any copyrighted materials have been inadvertently used in this work without proper credit being given in one form or another, please notify Our Sunday Visitor in writing so that future printings of this work may be corrected accordingly.
Copyright © 2018 by Rebecca Frech. Published 2018.
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All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts for critical reviews, no part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without permission from the publisher. For more information, visit: www.osv.com/permissions.
Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division
Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.
200 Noll Plaza
Huntington, IN 46750
1-800-348-2440
ISBN: 978-1-68192-262-1 (Inventory No. T1950)
eISBN: 978-1-68192-263-8
LCCN: 2018932966
Cover and interior design: Lindsey Riesen
Cover art: Shutterstock
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
About the Author
Rebecca Frech is a Catholic author, speaker, CrossFit coach, and the managing editor of The Catholic Conspiracy website. She is the author of the best-selling Teaching in Your Tiara: A Homeschooling Book for the Rest of Us, a co-host of the popular podcast The Visitation Project, and a columnist for the National Catholic Register. She and her husband live just outside Dallas with their eight children and an ever-multiplying family of dust bunnies.
Dedication
For Kara, who still loves me even though I write books.
Contents
Chapter 1 A Case for Friendship — Why Do We Even Need Friends?
Chapter 3 How Many Friends Do You Really Need?
Chapter 4 Stop Waiting to Be Asked
Chapter 5 You Say “Alone” As If That’s a Bad Thing
Chapter 7 Be Yourself, Not an Impostor
Chapter 10 What Are You Willing to Invest?
Chapter 12 So What if They Aren’t Like You?
Chapter 13 In Praise of Our Virtual Friends
Chapter 15 Love the One You’re With
Chapter 16 Benefit of the Doubt
Chapter 17 Stay Within the Lines — Creating Healthy Boundaries
Chapter 18 Friends for a Reason or a Season
Chapter 20 Friendship with God
A Little Something from Grandma
Introduction
“Life is nothing without friendship.”
— Cicero
When I first began thinking and talking about writing this book, I was surprised at the reaction of the people I had mention it to. It didn’t seem to matter who they were, when I said the word “loneliness,” their own tales of being and feeling isolated would pour out. Almost everyone, it would seem, is lonely.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the loneliness that seems to run rampant in our world. Never in history have people been more connected than we are now. We’re all walking around with easy access to almost every person we’ve ever met. A scroll through the directories on our phones nearly always turns up someone to talk or chat with. Silence and time to ourselves are now completely optional. Our phones come with us everywhere (if you have kids or a dog, you don’t even pee alone anymore!). Which has many of us wondering: If I’m never by myself, why do I feel so lonely?
We’re not meant to be solitary creatures. Way back in the beginning, God looked at Adam and declared that it wasn’t good for man to be alone. It wasn’t long before God created Eve. They had a couple of kids, and then a few more. Those first people could have spread out and gone anywhere, but history shows us that they mostly stayed together. They congregated in tribes and then towns, not just for safety but also for companionship. Fast-forward thousands of years and