more important. The pattern of keeping God and my faith neatly and tightly packed away in a box had become routine. I was far too sophisticated and modern to need God for more than the occasional pick-me-up or 911 call.
This inside-the-box faith approach lasted until my early thirties, several years into my marriage and a high-profile media career. Sounds cliché but, basically, I hit rock bottom. It’s as if one day I woke up, finally started to look around, and everything I had spent so much time and effort building was crumbling. I had sacrificed so much of my personal life for my profession, giving up holidays, weekends, and nights at home. I ran into work for what seemed like every breaking news story, telling myself that because I had a supportive and loving husband, everything at home would be fine. After all, he was also very career-oriented, moving up the ladder quickly at his engineering firm. He worked a lot of extra hours, especially on weekends. We both had swallowed the yuppie (young urban professional) way of life. This is what was drilled into us back then, especially career-minded women. I have to say, looking back, that I was the more aggressive one. My husband started to feel that we were like the proverbial gerbils on the wheel, constantly running and getting nowhere fast.
You might be wondering what caused me to hit rock bottom and to wake up and finally realize that my life was literally going to hell in a handbasket. Well, some of us are more stubborn than others, and in order for God to get my attention, he had to take me out of my comfort zone, big time.
My first major “come to Jesus” moment happened when I was stripped of what I unfortunately held most dear: my job. To make a long story short, one day I was the lead story on the evening news. The next morning, I received a phone call from the assignment editor asking me to come in early. Given the size of my ego at the time, I just assumed the station had another major assignment that only I could handle, so I eagerly hopped out of bed and headed into the office early. To my surprise, within less than an hour, I was walking out of the station with a pink slip and a box of my personal belongings in my hands.
That was all I had to show for all of those very long days, nights, and weekends; all I had to show for the many sacrifices I had made in my personal life. The news director and station manager were making changes in the on-air team, and I was one of them. My contract was up for renewal, but since I hadn’t heard any bad news from my agent, I expected that it was only a matter of time before I was once again signing on the dotted line. Just the opposite happened. I ended up on the cutting room floor, along with several other staff members.
Given the volatile nature of the news business, I shouldn’t have been so shocked. The broadcasting business is brutal, and there’s an old line among broadcasters that TV and radio stations are pretty much equipped with revolving doors because changing and replacing on-air talent is practically an everyday occurrence. But when you build your entire world around your career, and that career takes a huge hit, it feels as if your world is crumbling.
At the time I thought my world could never be put back together. I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. But it ended up being a major blessing in disguise. It was the start of my long path back to healing both my marriage and my relationship with God. My husband and I had grown far apart, and my relationship with God was practically nonexistent. As painful as the firing experience was, the time off of work was crucial when it came to stepping outside my comfort zone and taking a good, long look at myself and my priorities — or lack thereof.
Here’s a news flash, something that it took me way too long to learn: God doesn’t belong in a box. What’s more, there isn’t a box on the planet immense enough for who he is and how much he loves us. Saint Paul reminds us of this: “O the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” (Rom 11:33). The prophet Isaiah also tells us “good luck” in trying to put omnipotence in a nice little package:
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary,
his understanding is unsearchable. (Is 40:28)
Sadly, leaving our faith in a comfortable container, never allowing it to be part of our lives beyond Sunday (if we even take it as far Sunday Mass) has become the norm rather than the exception.
So now would be a good time to start examining your own faith box, to take a closer look at its size, its contents, and its location. Where do you keep that box? In many ways, it is understandable why that box might be kept under the bed, on a shelf, or in the shed. We let so many other things take priority.
Think about the important relationships in your life, as well as the most important activities. These are people, issues, or efforts to which you’re dedicated. They are not tucked in a box that is packed away somewhere. You grow to love someone by spending time with them. You’re passionate about your work or a particular cause because you have learned a great deal about these things and why they make a difference. Think about what your faith life, and in particular your relationship with God, might be like if you took a similar approach. If you’re already going to Mass once a week, have you ever thought about getting to church a little earlier to have some quiet time with God? Can you give him just a little bit more of your time and attention?
Maybe you were raised to believe that faith is a private or personal matter. Catholics, especially, did not, and still often do not, see themselves as evangelists, even though ironically that’s the reason the Catholic Church exists. Yes, the Church exists to evangelize, as Pope Blessed Paul VI (who will be canonized in 2018) reminded the world in his apostolic exhortation Evangelization in the Modern World:
“We wish to confirm once more that the task of evangelizing all people constitutes the essential mission of the Church” (“Declaration of the Synod Fathers,” 4: L’Osservatore Romano [October 27, 1974], p. 6). It is a task and mission which the vast and profound changes of present-day society make all the more urgent. Evangelizing is in fact the grace and vocation proper to the Church, her deepest identity. She exists in order to evangelize.3
Yet when a lot of us were growing up, much of the world agreed with the basic tenets of Christianity, so we really didn’t see a need to open the box or build a bigger and better one.
If this describes you, here’s where you can begin to move a bit outside that comfort zone. The first step is to think a little harder and a little differently. Seeing or treating faith as a private or personal thing is kind of a strange approach, isn’t it, if we know anything at all about the Gospel? The word “gospel” means “good news,” and good news is meant to be shared. When was the last time you kept a piece of really good news to yourself? So, actually, it’s odd that many of us were raised to keep the best news and the greatest story ever told to ourselves.
That said, evangelization comes later. Yes, we all have that responsibility, but when and how we evangelize takes some time, prayer, and discernment. It’s not all that different from other efforts in our lives. How many new parents do you know who right away go around sharing their parenting tips? Most new moms and dads are doing just the opposite: asking for help, advice, and input from more experienced parents. They learn, and eventually they share.
The primary way to share our faith is to live it to the best of our ability and with real joy. That’s what this book is all about. And as you begin to take further steps outside of your comfort zone, I encourage you to start thinking differently about what evangelization means and looks like.
There are plenty of ways to proclaim the Good News. Not everyone is called to stand on a soapbox in Central Park or at the local town hall, or even share on Facebook or Twitter. (Though, for the record, Pope Francis has one of the largest Twitter followings on the planet. Just saying.) Yes, we’re all called to evangelize, but evangelization comes in all shapes and sizes. You just need to find yours. It most likely will mean some movement and change in your life, but don’t panic. Remember, everyone is on a different journey, and we get there when we get there. We just have to be willing to take the faith box out of hiding and move, maybe slowly at first, but eventually, to a better place.