to get streamlined and to have a plan — this is what will help in the fast pace of family life. The abundant life! Isn’t life wonderful. Let’s proceed without feeling like we are always on the brink of drowning.
Practical peace is a focus on organization of our home and of our time. It takes effort and patience, but when we are willing to be honest with the state of things, and be willing to make changes, we will find the peace we crave. This isn’t about making a home that is perfect or a schedule that is foolproof, but about making an effort to cut out enough detritus so peace can reign. An organized schedule and an organized home will clear the clutter from our mind and spirit and help us better hear what God is saying to us, what he is asking of us.
Organization is part of having peace ahead of time. It’s like money in the bank or a pedicure before you realize you need to wear sandals.
But it doesn’t magically appear.
“Turn from evil and do good,” says 1 Peter 3:11, and “seek peace and follow after it.”
If we want peace, we have to pursue it. We can’t sit back and wait for life to feel peaceful. We must “turn from evil and do good.”
Now I’m not saying your disorganized coat closet is evil. But it’s not going to organize itself. We have to work hard to get peace and order, and it’s totally worth it.
If you want to be a person of peace, you need to be willing to make the changes you need to make in order to have more peace. Make adjustments, and go after peace. Pursue peace within your home and within yourself and with your fellow man. As Joyce Meyer says: Don’t just want peace; go after it.
So, what will it take to bring peace to your life? Stop for a moment and consider this. Maybe you want to make a list. What areas of your life are robbing you of your peace? Be honest with yourself. What is dragging you down? What zaps your energy and makes you want to curl up on the couch under a blanket?
Now say to yourself: “I am no longer willing to live without peace. I want peace. I will do what it takes to bring peace to my life.”
What will it take? Take a moment and answer this: “How can I find the order within my home and schedule — within my brain! — that I need to find true freedom and joy?”
Let’s break it down, and figure it out, and then let’s go after it!
But, before that, let’s get one thing straight. I’m not saying we won’t have hard times. I’m not suggesting that if we get all of our ducks in the right row it’s all going to be perfect. Pride tries to tell us that we won’t suffer. That perfection is the answer to everything. That’s not realistic. We aren’t going to pursue peace by pursuing perfection.
But there is something to be said for working hard. “Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you,” said Saint Ignatius of Loyola. It’s not enough to look at the state of your home and complain that it’s a wreck. If you aren’t willing to pick a few things up, I can’t feel sorry for you (I’m talking to you, Rachel Balducci). God loves each one of us so very much, but he doesn’t generally come into the front room to gather up the toys and wipe down the baseboards.
He does, however, give us the gifts of wisdom and smart brains. We must use those two weapons to make our lives more peaceful. It’s a little bit practical, a little bit spiritual.
chapter 1
homemaking/household management
A true home is one of the most sacred of places.… Far more than we know, do the strength and beauty of our lives depend upon the home in which we dwell.
— J. R. Miller
My friend Carrie went through a season where she was so overwhelmed in life that the only thing she could keep clean was her car. That was it. But that’s what she did. She accepted the fact that for whatever reason, the house was a challenge. But if she treated the car as an extension of the house, that would be the one room she could keep clean. She kept a set of plastic drawers in the back of her minivan, and she hyper-organized those drawers, stocking them with water, snacks, first aid supplies, and anything else her family might need when they were out and about. If she couldn’t accomplish what she wanted in the house, she reasoned, she would focus on the vehicle.
It’s okay to not have everything perfect all of the time. In fact, that is how life is. As much as we work to find systems that get the job done and bring order to our home and spirit, we must admit right now that we are humans with human suffering. We aren’t in heaven yet, and as such, things will not be perfect. It’s okay. So don’t think that all this advice will make everything perfect. There will always be a spot on at least one wall of the house. Some baseboard will always have a little smudge. Don’t get so focused on cleanliness and order that it becomes a burden — or an idol.
But attention to homemaking and household management will make a big difference in your quest for order, for peace, for a feeling of simplified joy. It will get us moving in the right direction. And like my friend Carrie, we will start to find success and victory in the areas we know we can tackle. That’s where we will find joy and peace.
make your bed, clean the sink
As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.
— Pope Saint John Paul II, homily (November 30, 1986)
The very first step in finding order in life is to start with what you’re staring at. What am I looking at? What is the thing right in front of my face? Let’s start with that.
Each morning we get up, and staring back at us is an unmade bed. Let’s make that bed!
We’ve all heard this so many times there’s no need for me to find a source on it. The world is filled with experts who say you should start off your day making your bed. What’s the big deal?
One of the best explanations I’ve heard is from the address given by Admiral William H. McRaven, ninth commander of U.S. Special Operations Command, at the University-wide Commencement at The University of Texas at Austin. Here’s what he said:
Every morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors, who at the time were all Vietnam veterans, would show up in my barracks room and the first thing they would do was inspect my bed. If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack. [That’s Navy talk for bed.]
It was a simple task — mundane at best. But every morning we were required to make our bed to perfection. It seemed a little ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that we were aspiring to be real warriors, tough battle-hardened SEALs, but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.
If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. And by the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never be able to do the big things right.
And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made — that you made — and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.
So if you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.
Those small tasks add up to the big tasks. If you want a clean, organized house, start with a clean, organized room. If you want a clean room, start with a made bed. It’s moving backward from your end goal and focusing on the first thing. And when you do that first thing first, right when you get up and get moving, the first task of the day is complete, and you are moving in the right direction.
The same can be