Mac Barron

Clueless in Galilee


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      “Funny and off-kilter in the best way, Mac Barron will help you look with fresh eyes at people in the Bible you thought you knew and discover that they were all too human.”

      — BISHOP ROBERT REED, president, The CatholicTV Network

      “There are lots of books about the Catholic Faith. This is one of them. Mac has given us a new way to look at the Gospels. Even though reading is hard, I think you’ll love this book.”

      — LINO RULLI, host, The Catholic Guy Show on Sirius XM Satellite Radio

      “The best humor starts with the truth, and Mac Barron’s inspiration for Clueless in Galilee happens to be the Gospel. He’s that guy who, in the midst of our deeply serious pondering, leans over and deadpans a funny observation that makes us crack a smile — and crack open a fresh way of seeing ourselves in the disciples’ earnest interactions with Christ. Barron loves the Lord and loves the Faith, and he shares his insight into both with just the right balance of wry wit and affection that reveals his intimacy with the Lord and the Gospel message of love and mercy.”

      — MARIA MORERA JOHNSON, author of My Badass Book of Saints: Courageous Women Who Taught Me How to Live and Super Girls and Halos: My Companions on the Quest for Truth, Justice, and Heroic Virtue

      Clueless In Galilee

       A Fresh Take on the Gospels

       Mac Barron

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       www.osv.com

      Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division

      Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.

      Huntington, Indiana 46750

      Except where noted, the Scripture citations used in this work are taken from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible — Second Catholic Edition (Ignatius Edition), copyright © 1965, 1966, 2006 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Where noted, other Scripture citations are from: (1) the New American Bible, revised edition (NABRE) copyright © 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C., and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All rights reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner; (2) The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®, copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

      Every reasonable effort has been made to determine copyright holders of excerpted materials and to secure permissions as needed. If any copyrighted materials have been inadvertently used in this work without proper credit being given in one form or another, please notify Our Sunday Visitor in writing so that future printings of this work may be corrected accordingly.

      Copyright © 2018 by Mac Barron. Published 2018.

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      All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts for critical reviews, no part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without permission from the publisher. For more information, visit: www.osv.com/permissions.

      Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division, Our Sunday Visitor, Inc., 200 Noll Plaza, Huntington, IN 46750; 1-800-348-2440

      ISBN: 978-1-68192-234-8 (Inventory No. T1934)

      eISBN: 978-1-68192-235-5

      LCCN: 2018954988

      Cover and interior design: Lindsey Riesen

      Cover art: Renata Sedmakova / Shutterstock.com

      PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

      For my dad, Frank Barron.

      He was the first person I knew was funny.

       Table of Contents

       Preface

       Be Like Jesus, Do What Your Mom Tells You

       (John 2:1–11)

       For the Sake of the Dullards

       (Matthew 15:1–9)

       “Game of Thrones” … in Galilee

       (Matthew 21:33–46)

       The Super Profound Secret to Getting More Done

       (Philippians 4:8–9)

       At Least Put on a Tie

       (Matthew 22:1–14)

       Wait, Wait, Wait — the Shepherd AND the Gate?

       (John 10:1–16)

       Easy Like Sabbath Morning

       (See Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John)

       I Hope I Wasn’t Unclear

       (John 6:48–59)

       Do This unto the Yeast of These

       (Matthew 16:5–11)

       Really “Falling” for Paul

       (Acts 20:7–13)

       Don’t Tell Anybody

      (Matthew 9:27–31; Mark 1:40–44;

       Mark 5:21–43; Matthew 17:1–9)