people believe that the “romance phase” of marriage exists only in the early years of the relationship. Over time, the passion gives way to familiarity and contentment. But this is not what God intended for marriage. While the physical aspects of love may lessen a little as our responsibilities in marriage change and grow, there is no reason why the passion needs to fade. The one who captured our heart can continue to cause it to beat with intensity and desire, if we understand the secret to making love last.
For those in ministry and single life this same passion, while not romantic in nature, can be an ever-flowing source of Christ’s grace to the Church and the world. The excitement and wonder of our vocations need not wax and wane with the years, but can be continually transformed as we live out the love of Christ by our words and deeds.
To cherish means to take delight, to love with a fire that pours itself out into actions, to seek to become a living sign of Christ in the unity and mutual love we share. As husbands cultivate love for their wives and as ministers cultivate their passion for their ministries, no matter how long the journey, our eyes should open wider to the wonder and beauty of our sacred vocations. Each experience of our marriage or our ministry, the trials and the treasures, the “for better or worse,” should help to shape the oneness that we share together in Christ.
Questions for reflection
Husbands, what are some concrete ways you can work to grow in love for your wife?
What does real passion and sold-out love in marriage or ministry look like? Is this the love you live out through your witness to the gospel and your holy vocation every day?
How can you become more focused on the One who is the source and goal of your marriage or ministry?
Praying with Scripture
“How fair and pleasant you are, O loved one, delectable maiden!” (Song of Solomon 7:6).
Friday
Leaving the Safety of Childhood in Order to Assume our Role as Godly Men
And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to put her away.” But Jesus said to them, “For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Mark 10:2–9
For most husbands, if we are honest, many of us have seriously contemplated divorce at some point in our marriages. And those in consecrated single life may have wondered what life would be like in marriage. Struggles and trials can get the better of us, temptations tug at our restless minds during periods of boredom, or we simply forget what it means to love our wives or our vocations as Christ loves the Church. Whatever the circumstance, coming close to the conclusion that leaving is better than staying the course is a frightening thought. We wondered if our marriage or ministry could survive, or if it would be better just to make a fresh start. Christ, however, has a better way.
Jesus took us back to the beginning to reaffirm the dignity and permanence of marriage. It is a bond so powerful and so beautiful that it causes a man to leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. In this unique bond of love, a man and woman become one flesh and mirror the marriage of Christ to his Church. God wants husbands to consider this union so sacred that we hold onto it and strive with all that we are to bring it to perfection in him.
Divorce violates God’s law of love for the sacredness of marriage. Yet for those men who have undergone the pain of divorce, there is hope in the forgiveness and comfort of a merciful God. Men can rediscover the beauty God intended for marriage in how they move forward in faith after a divorce, how they treat their former spouse, and how they care for the children of the separated union. And all men, married or single, can minister to the separated and divorced and bring the love of the Church to bear upon those who have suffered. Our witness should always be for the love of God that is so beautifully reflected in the Sacrament of Marriage.
Questions for reflection
Have there been times of struggle within your marriage? What have those struggles looked like?
How can your life today give witness to God’s command to honor the beauty and permanence of marriage?
How can you help and support a brother who is struggling in his marriage and perhaps considering divorce?
Praying with Scripture
“Hear, O daughter, consider, and incline your ear; forget your people and your father’s house; and the king will desire your beauty. Since he is your lord, bow to him” (Ps 45:10–11).
Saturday
Go Deeper
For husbands
What are the greatest gifts my wife has brought to my life?
In what ways have I worked to live in mutual submission with my wife? If not, what selfish habits or tendencies stand in my way?
When have I misused my role as head of my household to dominate my wife and family?
When have I abdicated my role as head of my household out of selfishness, laziness, or fear?