feel shy can be a challenge.
It’s kind of like climbing up a big
mountain. But taking it step by
step really helps. Just remember
that with every step you take
and every effort you make, no
matter how small, you’re getting
closer to meeting some great
girls and enjoying fun friendships.
Saying Hello
Here are a few tips to help make saying hi easier.
Let your body help you
do the talking.
It’s hard to have a conversation with a
girl whose head is down or whose arms
are crossed tightly across her chest. But
looking someone in the eye, and keep-
ing your head up and your arms relaxed,
tells other kids you’d like to talk to
them. Taking a deep breath and smiling
helps, too.
Approach one person
instead of a whole group.
Act as natural as you can. You might
also try bringing extra pens, paper,
or gum along with you. Offering to
share is a great way to start talking
to someone.
Get those first words out.
Don’t wait until you feel totally comfort-
able to approach someone. Just say some-
thing simple like, “Hi. How are you?” It may
be easier than you think to go from there.
Remember, most people are happy when
someone shows an interest in them and
what they have to say.
Practice at home in
front of a mirror.
Act like you’re talking to someone
you’ve never met. It might sound silly,
but it works! Once you’ve said the words
out loud over and over, saying them to
someone else won’t be as difficult.
Ask your mom or dad
to help you practice,
practice, practice.
The more you practice starting conversa-
tions, the more natural it will feel. Try out
conversation starters at the dinner table with
your family. Ordering at restaurants and ask-
ing questions of salespeople can help, too.
After a while, it won’t seem so hard.
Advice from Girls
Here’s what real girls had to say about making new friends:
“Walk up to someone who is alone, not
with a group of friends. She will be
glad someone is talking to her!”
SARAH, AGE 10
“Making friends is a lot like doing a
jigsaw puzzle. Some people fit in a
certain place and others don’t.
Just don’t try to force it.”
RYAN, AGE 14
“I try my best to be kind, honest,
and loyal. Then I just trust
that friendships will happen,
and so far they have.”
ELIZABETH, AGE 11
“I sit back and watch people
for a while. If they seem nice
from a distance, then I start
talking to them.”
NATALIE, AGE 9
“I love to laugh. I try to
meet people who have a
good sense of humor.”
COURTNEY, AGE 13
“ Don’t judge people by what
other people say about them.
Get to know them, and then
decide for yourself!”
SAM, AGE 13
“The number one thing about making
friends is to be yourself. Don’t try to be
someone you’re not. People won’t respect
you if they think you’re a faker.”
AMANDA, AGE 13
Trying Too Hard
When it comes to making and keeping friends, one thing that doesn’t work
is clinging. Friendships can end fast when one girl feels overwhelmed by
the other. In other words, don’t try too hard!
What
rates
high
on
the
cling-o
-meter?
cling-o-meter rating:
You meet your new friend
on Monday. On Wednesday,
you ask her to be your best
friend.
When friendships are new, it’s
important to let them grow
naturally. Don’t rush into making
the friendship more than it is.
For now, just focus on getting to
know your friend better.
You’ve been friends for
a few months. For four
weeks in a row, you’ve
spent your allowance on
presents for your new
friend.
Careful. Your presents may
make your friend feel too
much pressure, and that
could change an otherwise
good friendship. Also, you
won’t