Conversations with the Psychologist. Veronica Semenova

every wrinkle while remembering the unique experience and emotions you lived through – love, grief, joy, happiness, excitement, laughter, and tears. Should these all be erased from your life and memories?

      Oscar Wilde wrote about the tragedy of Dorian Gray: “It was his beauty that had ruined him, his beauty and the youth that he had prayed for. But for those two things, his life might have been free from stain. His beauty had been to him but a mask, his youth but a mockery. What was youth at best? A green, an unripe time, a time of shallow moods, and sickly thoughts. Why had he worn its livery? Youth had spoiled him.” (Oscar Wilde, Portrait of Dorian Gray)

      Maturity is the time to enjoy life, update your wardrobe, pamper yourself with pleasantries, travel, and relax more. Don’t keep rejuvenating yourself but, rather, focus on looking elegant and well-groomed. After all, a mature person does not need to prove anything to anyone. In maturity, much has been lived, experienced, and also acquired. You have experience, strength, and wisdom. You’ve passed many tests of life, and you can just be yourself.

      At this age, you can listen to yourself and organize your life the way you want. After retirement, you can find a new occupation for yourself that doesn’t necessarily have to be in your profession. Perhaps it will be an exciting hobby or a new business where you will be your own boss. The main thing is that what you do brings you pleasure, stimulates and motivates you, and makes you feel active and needed.

      Yes, our appearance changes when we cross a certain threshold in life, but if you lead a healthy lifestyle, eat well, get enough sleep, exercise, and take good care of your face and body, your aging process will not be catastrophic. The fear of aging is particularly strong among those who are not sure if they can offer something to the world other than their appearance.

      It’s important to feel the power of your personality and be proud of yourself no matter how many wrinkles appear around your eyes. Have you ever met a person who was not attractive in the usual sense, but who radiated so much charm that he charged those around him?

      Do not worry that the beauty of youth and physical attractiveness will disappear in maturity. Worry that wisdom will not appear. The beauty of maturity and your confidence in the attractiveness of your charm, smile, personality, and respect and love for yourself are stronger than any “beauty boosts.”

      Be happy!

      Fear of Death

      Question: “Recently, I often think about death. My parents died ten years ago. As I grow older, there are more and more deaths in the circle of family and friends around me. I am frightened by the unknown threats of death, and terrified to think that life passes so quickly. How can I cope with my fear?”

      Death is difficult to ignore. One of the founders of existential psychotherapy, Irvin Yalom, in his book Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death wrote: “The issue of death ‘itches’ continuously, without leaving us for a single moment, knocking at the door of our existence, quietly, barely perceptibly rustling at the very borders of the conscious and unconscious. Hidden, disguised, breaking out in the form of various symptoms, it is the fear of death that is the source of many worries, stresses, and conflicts.”