icons and idiosyncrasies, prides and prejudices which had given such cohesion and comfort to so many societies for such long periods of historical time? What would become of all of the ordering principles that had enabled some nations, some races, or some faiths to loom large or to sometimes prevail over others? Or which at least successfully deluded them into sleeping quietly in the smug assumption that they were doing so.
The worldmonde.Planet had become so damned confusing. It was full of friends now.
In theory, this was a fantastic development.
But few people were really willing and able to consider the wider ramifications of such a superficially positive development upon that club of nations and societies that derived some or all of their identity through the perception that they were hapless underdogs. That there were some who actually fared quite well or, if this wasn’t exactly the truth, at least derived some well-earned comfort from the fact that they were hopeless basket cases, capable of surviving the onslaught of a civilization whose ideals cloaked some incestuous uniformity only if they succeeded in distilling their own exclusive witches’ brew of cohesive elitist identity. There were some societies, or segments thereof, that took pride in the fact that they were subject to persecution or even eradication if they allowed their vigilance to drop for even a fleeting instant. Or that they were simply the wretched victims of insults, injuries and injustice forced upon them by the hands of others who were bent on dominating or even destroying their most deeply ingrained values.
Some people who were otherwise probably quite astute were apparently not willing to fathom the extent of the problem while no small number of others simply had little or no interest in coming to terms with it. And, for whatever reasons, even as many people eagerly embraced this change without the slightest hint of reservation, a vast number of people were still equally determined to simply sit it out and wait for a return to what they had grown accustomed to regarding as normalcy.
But like it or not, nearly everyone had gone global in recent times, whether deliberately or not. Ironically, even those doggedly against this development embraced globalization.bliss eagerly, recognizing it to be the most expedient way to organize the resistance.
And, in hindsight, it truly did seem as though a global revolution had happened overnight. The old worldmonde.Planet order, based on its various constellations of nation-states, quickly and permanently evaporated as it became clear to all that the concept of the custom-tailored so-called domain.state was here to stay.
With easily discernible identities then suddenly in short supply, it was hardly surprising that a sharp rise in ideology soon made itself evident.
The real irony behind this development was that this tendency was accelerated, or even largely made possible, through the emergence of an obviously irredeemable, but tantalizing, promise of collective virtual identity: those erdenburgers who suddenly perceived themselves adrift in a worldmonde.Planet suddenly fragmented through its rush to unification through globalization.bliss once more had ideals toward which they could strive when they were not too distracted through work or busy with shopping or just idling before the telly.tube.
And they could employ the virtues of this very same globalization.bliss to make their dream of cultural downsizing efficient as well as fun and enjoyable. Technological advances meant that it was no longer necessary to watch helplessly as good, solid, virtuous identities were swamped by those surging tides which were said to be nudging the whole of humanity toward an ideal vaguely defined as a universal, worldwide community of enlightened, and ostensibly democratic, consumerism–unified in spirit as they sat and chilled or steered their eco-friendly minivans and buena.Vistas to the nearest mall, virtual or not.
It all started in the not-so-distant past with CNN and the AFL-CIO. And IBM and MTV. OSCE, HIV, UNESCO and NAFTA.
People learned how to spell HTTP and RDA and MPG.
Then there was a Poppy Generation.
Reality TV quickly followed, proving that truth can be more disgusting than fiction.
There were Mad Hatters and pot parties, party caucuses, royal weddings and divorces and pot luck caribou roasts peppered with petty Palinisms.
A gazillion times each day, an informed but mostly clueless tweety population popped their messages around the globe: Where did you, um, kind of, you know, want to be today?
Tupperware and Tea parties raged everywhere, reigning supreme around the worldmonde.Planet.
Think Global Act Local, many of the ads proclaimed loudly.
Half of the planet seemed to rise at once to the thrill and challenge of modern media-enhanced grass-roots democracy. Daily referendums exhorting the virtues of an active and empowered citizenry swamped the airwaves and networks, demanding instantaneous participation.
“Got a gripe? Say HELL, NO! to something today to make your voice count!”
It was Vancouver that led the charge into the future.time. It simply declared itself to be independent one fine day. Almost overnight, everything changed. Vancouver went west and soon found its roots and soul in the Far East. There were pot-bellied golden Buddhas smiling in every shop window on every street. Feng shui counselors eagerly purveyed their services on every corner.
In response to the Middle Kingdom’s acquisition through incorporation, the remainder of British Columbia was quickly annexed by faraway Quebec. Eager to exploit their inherent recognition value, and the potential commercial worth as well, Canada’s red and white maple leaf flags and banners were brazenly declared to be Québécoise. An ecstatic citizenry bellowed: “Let Ontario eat quiche and design its own flag!”
From that crystallizing moment onward, national downsizing was all the rage. The word was out now that states possessing a vision had to be small and lean and mean to be adequately responsive to the rapidly changing requirements of their ever more discriminating populaces.
Following its race to independence not long thereafter, the proud denizens of Florida began stamping out tin license plates proclaiming their young nation to be the SeniorCitizenNation. Meanwhile, the proud enclave of West Palm Beach County resolved to celebrate its achievement of independence by ritualizing the recounting of its votes over and over again–and, observing a tradition anchored within their new constitution, hanging a handful of chads now and then in respectful acknowledgement of this important holiday. Bingo reigned supreme everywhere south of Tallahassee, not even stopping the proverbial ninety miles short of Havana. For the first time in recent history, the heirs of the Máximo Lider, who continued making a limited number of dignified public appearances despite the emblematic awkwardness of the dolly cart required to transport him to and from his appointments, had a valid reason to feel truly besieged.
Nevada, never a slouch in the past.time, quickly countered with Keno. And a hostile takeover of Colorado.
Silicon Valley–famous now for its vast breast implant industry as well as its microchips–declared a merger among equals with a number of nearby or adjoining maquiladoras and faraway Bangalore.
The result was world-class bintis and boobs. It was absolutely citron!
The remainder of California collectively declared itself to be the Litigation Nation. On the opposite side of the continent, the citizens of Manhattan, D.C. predictably took issue with such a preposterous claim and collectively sued.
Queens followed Jamaica Bay’s lead and seceded. Scotland and Wales shut their borders to the English.
Even further afield, the New Hanseatics began kicking ass–especially those of immigrants under suspicion of what could be construed to be negligent or malicious non-integration.
Newly independent entities like Martinique, Catalonia, Aden and Corsica established diplomatic ties with a plethora of mini-states around the globe–and among themselves–to underscore their determination to prevail and succeed in the emerging new and improved worldmonde.Planet order.
Mindanao and the Spratlys confederated with the Kuril Islands.
The Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation defiantly dissolved all ties to the traditionally geriatric