Boye Lafayette De Mente

Etiquette Guide to China


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Lawyers Out

       Pay Attention to Small Details

       Beware of Using Humor

       Dress the Part

       Chapter 10 What to Expect While Negotiating

       The Business Card Imperative

       Addressing the Senior Person

       Sit Up Straight & Stand Tall!

       Keep a Damper on Your Enthusiasm

       Make a Series of Short Presentations

       Keep Notes at Meetings

       Confirm Mutual Understanding & Summarize the Meeting

       Ask the Right Questions

       Striking Like a Snake

       Withholding Information

       The “Hit-Run” Tactic

       The Passive Face Ploy

       Silence as a Negotiating Tactic

       What to Do When They Leave the Room?

       The Intimidation & Anger Tactics

       Using Competitors as Bogeymen

       Compromising the Right Way

       Authority Levels Matter

       Using Go-betweens

       Keep on Negotiating!

       Chapter 11 Business Entertainment

       Business & Official Banquets

       Reciprocal Banquet Hosting

       Alcohol & Business

       Answering Personal Questions

       Gift Giving Is Dangerous

       Chapter 12 When You Are Host in Your Own Country

       Getting Personal

       Structuring the Meeting Room

       Providing Refreshments

       Preliminary Remarks

       Giving Your Guests Face

       Inviting Guests Out for the Evening

       Paying Bills

       Seeing Your Guests Off

       Appendix

       Selected Vocabulary & Useful Expressions

       Personal Titles

       Family Relationships

       Corporate Titles

       Government Titles

       Everyday Expressions

       Useful Sentences

       Saying hello and good-bye

       Getting to know each other

       In conversation

       At the restaurant

       At the office

       At the hotel

       On the road

       Technology and communications

       Money

       Helpful Vocabulary

       Glossary of Terms Related to Digital Communications

       Index

      Preface

      Most Westerners think of culture (when they think of it at all) in terms of the arts, literature, and music, but these elements are only a small part of culture. Culture is also the way people think, talk, and behave, as well as the way they work and what they create. The various mental constructs that people have of their own existence, of life in all of its forms, and of the universe at large are products of their cultures. People are programmed by their cultures to view and react to the world in certain ways, and it is this programming that unifies them into individual civilizations.

      The traditional culture of China is one of the most enduring and powerful ever to have been developed, and because it is the force that motivates and guides such a large number of people it is one of the world’s most important cultures.

      Wenhua (wen-wha), the Chinese term for culture, can be translated as “patterns of thought and behavior.” The Chinese have traditionally viewed China more as a cultural entity than as a landmass, and in the past some writers have suggested that the country should be called Zhong Hua (Johng Whah), or “Middle Cultural Essence,” instead of Zhong Guo (Johng Gwoh), or “Middle Kingdom.”

      China’s culture is so powerful that Chinese whose families have lived abroad for several generations are often still culturally identifiable as “Chinese.”

      Throughout most of China’s long history, the relationships between people in all classes were based on carefully prescribed forms of behavior that addressed virtually every aspect of conduct. This was true to such a degree that learning and following proper etiquette was one of the major facets of life. And the higher one was on the social ladder, the more meticulous and demanding were the rules of etiquette.

      The Chinese word for etiquette, li (lee), originally meant “rite” or “ritual”, referring to the fact that following officially sanctioned etiquette required detailed knowledge of hundreds of correct forms of behavior.

      Training in this highly prescribed way of living was so thorough, so pervasive, that people were judged first, last, and sometimes only by how closely they followed its rules of behavior. Etiquette was equated not only with learning in general, but also with culture, morality, and even nationality and nationalism.

      The Chinese eventually came to believe that theirs was the only correct form of etiquette in the universe, and that all who did not follow the same meticulous rules of conduct were uncivilized barbarians. Of course, the rules of etiquette in China today are no longer enforced by harsh feudal sanctions as they once were, and have been considerably relaxed. But they remain very important.

      Despite the attempts of Mao Zedung and his communist regime to destroy all vestiges of China’s traditional culture, and despite the inroads made by Western cultures since then, most of the core values and basic behavioral patterns that have existed in China for more than two thousand years are still very much in evidence throughout the country. Formalities in business and formal situations are still ingrained in the behavior of the Chinese.

      While some of China’s common customs are quite different from Western mores, others are similar. But in spite of any similarities, they often differ in ways that can spell success or failure for uninitiated foreigners.

      It is therefore extremely valuable for visitors to China to have a working knowledge of the basics of Chinese etiquette, and it is vital for businesspeople, diplomats, and others going to China for professional reasons to know the ins and outs of Chinese thinking and behavior.

      Since the last edition of this book, there have been momentous changes within China. By GDP, China is now the second richest nation in the world. The larger Chinese cities now look and feel just like cities in more developed nations, though there are still large pockets of poverty within China, especially in rural areas.

      However, most people have access to cell phones, computers, and the Internet. Even if their home lacks a landline, it seems that just about everyone in China has some access to the digital world, giving people a degree of connection with others and access to information and news