I was tempted to open it, but I try to respect my daughter’s privacy . . . most of the time. But curiosity got the better of me and after several seconds I had convinced myself that I’m the mother and had a right to know what my teenage daughter was up to, because the majority of the time she was up to no good.
“I’ll look at just one entry, then I’ll put it down,” I murmured to myself and flipped to the center of the book.
I saw Ron’s dick today. He wasn’t too happy that I walked in on him, so I played it off and stepped out of the bathroom. I’ve never seen a thing with the skin still on it. But dang, it was big! I promise you I’m going to get some of that before the school year’s over.
Hell to the no.
Stunned, I flipped forward several more pages.
Tomorrow my mother is working evenings and I plan to finally make my move on her boyfriend. The plan is to come running out of my room butt naked, pretending I saw a spider.
Fingers shaking, I turned the page.
I can’t believe Ron rejected me. Even after I told him I loved him he tossed it back in my face and said he loved my mom, not me, and that I needed to find a boy my own age. I hate him! I hate him! Just wait, I’m going to get him back.
My hands were shaking as I flipped to an entry dated the day after I broke up with Ron.
Well, my plan worked. Mama believed me over Ron and put his butt out. Hee-hee! You should have seen his face. That’s what he gets for treating me that way. Now Mama thinks I’m pregnant by Ron when I’m really carrying Demetrius’s baby. Yuck! That was the worst sex I’ve ever had. I sure hope my baby comes out looking like me.
I didn’t even know the journal had slipped from between my fingers until I heard it hit the floor. For the longest time I just stood there, stunned, knowing good and well what I was reading better not be true. But it was.
My daughter had lied.
Everything went still as my world started spinning. Slowly I lowered onto the bed and took several deep breaths to calm my nerves because what I wanted to do was to run down the hall to the bathroom and snatch Portia’s wide ass out of that shower. The only thing stopping me was the fact that she was pregnant and I didn’t want to be responsible for two dead bodies.
Ain’t this a bitch? I believed her. Even when something in the back of my mind kept telling me something wasn’t right about my daughter’s story, I believed her anyway because she’s my daughter and that’s what mothers are supposed to do, stick by their children.
How was I to know that when she described my man’s uncircumcised dick, the reason she knew what it looked like was that her hot ass had barged into the bathroom and seen it? Not because Ron had been sleeping with her.
It was like a sick joke.
For the first time in my life I could understand how a woman could murder her own child, because that’s exactly what I wanted to do. The only thing stopping me was that I didn’t own a gun and that Portia was pregnant. Dear God, Ron isn’t even the father of her child. She lied to me! Ron never touched her. He tried to tell me she was lying, yet I refused to listen.
The pipes grew quiet, which meant Portia had turned the water off. I returned the journal to where I had found it underneath a towel and quickly exited her room before I did something crazy. I then moved down the hall to my bedroom and made two calls and simply said, “Get over here or I’m killing her ass,” then went downstairs to wait.
Fifteen minutes later, I was down in the kitchen walking laps around the table with a butcher knife in my hand, still contemplating murder. Portia came bouncing down the stairs in shorts and a T-shirt, looking like any typical sixteen-year-old. “Mmmm, Mama, that smells good! Is it time to eat yet?”
I glanced over at her lying ass, wanting so badly to take that pot of hot spaghetti sauce and fling it at her head and burn the shit out of her. Hummph! And then we would be even, because Portia had burned me good with all her lies.
“Why don’t you set the table?” I suggested between gritted teeth.
She nodded obediently, then moved over to the counter and reached inside the cabinets. I watched her work, wondering how someone who looked so innocent could be so slick. A beautiful full-figured girl built like a woman since fifth grade. I had no idea until recently she knew how to use every last curve to get what she wanted.
“Set an extra plate. Your grandmother is coming over.” And she better hurry, because I don’t know how much longer before I snap.
“Mama, I’m so glad Ron doesn’t live here anymore. I really enjoy having you all to myself again.”
That’s because I kicked his ass out. Breathe, girl, breathe! She ain’t worth it. Ten, nine, eight, seven . . . I was seconds away from flinging that knife across the room when thank goodness the doorbell rang.
Portia dashed off to answer it. I took another deep breath, then pulled the garlic bread out of the oven. My mama entered wearing a worried look on her face. I placed a finger to my lips, halting any questions. “Let’s eat.”
We all took a seat, Mama to my right, Portia directly across from me. I waited until we were all eating before I broke the silence. “I decided to call the police.”
Portia’s eyes grew wide.
“For what?” Mama asked with concern.
I continued eating and didn’t even bother looking her way. My eyes were glued to my daughter’s face. “I’m filing charges against Ron for rape.”
Mama nodded in agreement. “About time! I told you you should have done that the second you found out. Hopefully it’s not too late.”
Portia reached for her Kool-Aid and took a sip.
Uh-uh, she wasn’t getting off that easy. “We probably won’t be able to go to court until the baby is born because they’re going to need DNA evidence. Once they have that and are able to prove the baby is Ron’s, it’s off to prison for the next twenty years.” My eyes got small and never left hers.
Portia squirmed uncomfortably on the seat. “Can’t we just leave it alone?”
“Why? I should have pressed charges against him the minute I found out, but instead I wanted to protect you.”
She lowered her head, trying to avoid eye contact.
Mama pointed her fork at her granddaughter. “Listen to your mama. What that man did was against the law.” She started shaking her head. “Lord knows I had a bad feeling about that thug living in this house. I just knew something bad would come out of this.”
“B-But I . . . I don’t want to have to face him in court,” Portia stuttered nervously.
I just bet you don’t. “You don’t have to. The lawyers can put a case together without you if they need to. As soon as we get done eating, we’re going down and file charges.”
Portia dropped her fork and started frantically shaking her head. “Mama, they won’t believe me . . . I know they won’t,” she insisted.
“Why is that?” I asked quickly.
“Because . . . Ron isn’t the only one I’ve slept with. There’s a chance this might be someone else’s baby.”
I couldn’t believe she was admitting what I had said all along—she was a slut. I wanted so badly to scratch her eyes out for lying. “Well, I guess that’s a chance we’ll have to take.”
“I don’t want to.” Portia sat back in her chair, arms crossed and lips poked out.
I raised my voice to ensure she knew who’s boss. “Since when do you have a choice? This is my house, and that was a grown man . . . my man you were sleeping with. I’m going to make him pay!” Damn, I should earn an Oscar for my performance.
“Why does it always