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Dieses Buch erscheint als Band 1 der Belletristik-Edition poetis im Verlag des Institute for Science and Innovation Communication (inscico)
This book appears as Volume One of the Edition poetis published by inscico Institute for Science and Innovation Communication
1. Auflage 2017 / 1st Edition 2017
Das Buch ist unter der ISBN 978-3-9814811-9-8 im Handel erhältlich.
This book is available for sale under ISBN 978-3-9814811-9-8.
Alle Rechte vorbehalten
Die Weitergabe dieses Buches als Ganzes oder in Teilen ist nicht gestattet.
All rights reserved
No part of this publication may be reproduced.
Copyright © 2017 by inscico GmbH, Kleve / Germany
Cover-Foto: Robert Bräutigam
(Taken in a Ruin Bar in Budapest / Hungary)
For Eva, Maggie and Lila – my true inheritance.
Your feet will bring you where your heart is
An áit a bhuil do chroí is ann a thabharfas do chosa thú
Irish Proverb
Thanks
To all those who offered practical help and encouragement.
In particular:
My husband Alexander Gerber for formatting and production and for pushing me out through the door to my first writing group.
The Creative Writing Group in Berlin.
The Schreibgruppe, Culucu in Kleve, Niederrhein.
Erwin Kraut for editorial comment, proofreading and mentoring.
Louise Churcher for proofreading.
Vanessa Gneisinger and Fiona Kahlau for editorial comment.
To my son Dylan, my family and my friends for helping me stay on track.
Contents
Up Yours and Definitely No Surrender
Inheritance
A collection of rather banal memories
A Safe Distance
Making Small Talk in a Troubled Country
Tour Of Duty
Secrets
Green
She was invited to a wedding
After Noelle
A Walk In The Dark
Into the Light – Dia non Dul
Wishing Well
The last time I visited
In May
About the Author
Illustrations
Endnotes
Foreword
Whilst many of the pieces in this collection are based on real events, this is creative writing and not autobiographical. Names, characters, places and incidents are used fictitiously.
Therefore, whereas, for example, my son really did ask me about Bloody Sunday in an airport bookshop (Up Yours and Definitely No Surrender), my brother and I were never turned into thorn bushes (The Playground) and there was no insurance man called Raymond (The Big Brown Car).
Although I left Northern Ireland for good in 1990, somehow I am always visiting it inside my head. Always looking for that piece of myself I left behind. This is why I say I left Northern Ireland a long time ago, but Northern Ireland has never left me.
Visits
Rattling down a road of my own making
still alone, chasing ghosts
from Berlin morning windows
March sunshine seeks me out
but I’m not playing
I can‘t
We stop
„Bitte entschuldigen Sie die Störung. Wegen einer technischen Defekt können wir die Fahrt voraussichtlich nicht weiter...“ i
But I can’t
Stop
Mourning
from Berlin morning windows
still alone, chasing ghosts
rattling down a road of my own making
Marching Orders
last orders
real women don’t drink pints
and swear at real men
or forget to comb the curls
at the back of their hair
so there
and anyhow I’m not good for you
and you’re certainly not for me
but I know this
so who cares
My head is full of words, and worries and other people’s questions. Cycling home through the woods, in deep and earnest conversation with myself I suddenly realize it’s The Twelfth of July.ii Fancy that, and I can still remember that one warm 12th thirty years ago, nineteen years of age, home for the first summer break from university. I fancied myself in love. With Rodney. A bad guy, not even a very clever one. But a beautiful one. Warm grass