and therefore decided to take a walk to the beach later; it shouldn’t be that far away, I believed.
Our first stroll eventually ended up at a supermarket and exactly now Roland came to life and purchased several bags full of groceries. Somewhere inbetween the aisles, Roland held a giant bag of frozen shrimp under my nose and asked, “Do you like these?” “Sure I do, as long as I don’t have to cook them myself!”
Meanwhile, the golf equipment was stored in the trunk, so Max and I had to carry the bulky grocery bags on our laps all the way back. Certain inconvenient details just seemed to stay the same.
Back at the apartment, I wanted to change right away and find my way to the beach. But now Roland made himself comfortable on the sofa with his iPad and demanded Bianca and I to cook! I looked at him, flabbergasted. Why should I cook dinner now? I hadn’t even seen the ocean up close yet! Bianca remained completely relaxed and calmly explained to me in a very sweet voice that Roland had to eat out on the job so often that he preferred home-made meals when he was on vacation! Well, it was quite the opposite for me!
I didn’t want to risk disturbing the peace right on the very first day, so I decided to grin and bear it. I summoned all my patience and assumed we would go out to party after dinner or at least have a drink at a nice beach bar. But no, Roland needed to rest now; after all, he had been driving all day. So again I wanted to head out and walk the mile and a half to the center of town all by myself.
Just as I was walking out the door, Bianca hollered that she was coming with me. After all, she didn’t want to go stale on the couch with this old guy. Had he heard that? He most certainly wasn’t deaf. I felt pretty uncomfortable, but of course appreciated my friend accompanying me.
We set out together, strolled through the little shops, looked at the various handcrafts for sale and, of course, Bianca didn’t miss the Tiffany’s store. With great enthusiasm and a touch of envy in her voice, she told me a friend of hers from Munich wore a Tiffany bracelet and, based on the euphoria Bianca displayed telling her story, I figured Bianca would also soon call something from Tiffany’s her very own.
To come straight to the point, the day we flew out, my friend Bianca was, of course, wearing a necklace from Tiffany’s around her neck. But I am one hundred percent certain the purchase of this showpiece was not nearly as romantic as it was in my favorite Audrey Hepburn movie when her true love had the ring from the cornflakes box engraved for Miss Holly Golightly.
Anyway, we spent a wonderful evening together, laughed and joked until we finally walked home to our apartment in a carefree mood. But, instead of enjoying a bottle of wine there, Bianca immediately disappeared into the master bedroom to join Roland. When I heard loud voices snapping at each other, I instantly knew she wouldn’t be coming back out tonight and therefore I would go to sleep myself. What a pity. I tried to console myself believing that this was just our first night in Hawaii; we still had almost three weeks together ahead of us and many evenings to come, on which we could go to the beach together or relax on the terrace watching the sunset.
When I went into the kitchen to make some breakfast the next morning, I immediately sensed something was wrong. Roland had already made coffee and pancakes and gestured for me to set the table. Just as I was about to take the plates out of the top cabinet, Roland opened a drawer directly in front of me. I took a step back to dodge it and reached in to help him. At that moment, he slammed the drawer shut, with my fingers still in it. Ouch! That hurt. I looked at him, dismayed. His expression didn’t even change as he opened the next drawer. Bianca had just joined us and said, with false serenity, “That’s just how Roland is.” Since Roland didn’t apologize at all, I promised myself silently to take better care of my physical health from now on.
The weather was gorgeous. I could hear the birds chirping through the open terrace door and everything pointed to a wonderful day of vacation; if only these bad vibes weren’t in the air, full of suppressed anger and feigned friendliness. “Breakfast is ready for anyone who wants some,” Roland said but his voice sounded less inviting. Eventually, the three of us, Bianca, Roland and I, sat down at the table on the terrace.
Max was still sleeping peacefully on the air mattress in the living room, though we had probably walked past it at least a hundred times that morning.
As always, Bianca was sitting with her feet pulled up on her chair when she held up a pancake with disgust and snapped, “What is this nastiness? It’s just empty calories and it doesn’t even taste good! Don’t ever serve me something this gross ever again!” Roland ignored the remark and continued shoveling his breakfast into his mouth. I tried, without success, to brighten the mood as I bravely choked down a pancake. We had such a wonderful day ahead of us, what should we do? I still hadn’t been to the beach! I hadn’t even dipped my feet in the water …
Unfortunately, Tuesday didn’t bring the joy and fulfillment I was yearning for. Bianca responded to any attempt at reasonable conversation with barbs, often hitting below the belt. She was sugary sweet to me, but a complete witch to Roland and I started to wish she would stop talking to me at all and leave me out of it. I definitely didn’t want to be the person who, from Roland’s perspective, drove a wedge between him and his partner. But that is exactly what happened.
As we were driving, again overland, naturally with Roland behind the wheel, she asked, “Roland, what does that sign mean, ‘No passing on shoulder’?” Now, you have to know that Roland was married to an American wife for thirty years and had studied in Boston, Massachusetts when he was in college. He immediately knew the answer. “It means you can’t pass here because a hill you can’t see over is coming up in front of us!” Okay, after what I had already experienced of their relationship, I didn’t want to disturb the currently prevailing, albeit fake harmony, so I remained silent in the back seat. But of course, Bianca could smell a rat. A bit later, when we were grocery shopping again, she secretly asked me, “Is what Roland said right?” I told her that as far as I knew, that sign meant you weren’t allowed to pass on the right side, that meant on the shoulder of the street. “Aha! I knew it! He always acts like he knows everything when he really doesn’t know anything, but he can’t even admit it! I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind!” “Bianca, please! I didn’t want to start a fight, that’s why I didn’t say anything in the car,” I tried to assuage her. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you out of it!” Well then, from her mouth to God’s ears.
On the way back to the hotel, the next sign appeared. Sweet as sugar, she murmured, “Roland, when I think about it, that sign could also mean you aren’t allowed to pass on the right shoulder.” He calmly answered her, “No, no, no, ‘shoulder’ is the hill up there in front of us. And since it’s so hard to see over it, you aren’t allowed to pass here.” But the hill was on the horizon and the road kept going straight. I started feeling hot, because I could sense what was coming next. “No, Roland! Karla said the sign means “no passing on the shoulder!” And that makes much more sense! Why do you always act like you know everything when really you don’t know anything!!!” Now it was out. At the crack of a whip, her voice had changed from sugary sweet, of course, in my name. I wished I could hide in the back seat. But to my surprise, Roland didn’t get angry, nor did he feel embarrassed, but instead continued to defend his interpretation of the meaning of the traffic sign. It suddenly became clear to me that this evening wouldn’t end harmoniously at the beach either.
On Wednesday, I was excited for the broadcast with Doreen Virtue at Hay House Radio. I always listened to her at home in the evening. The broadcast here on Hawaii was at ten in the morning because of the different time zone. Just the thought of hearing Doreen close up excited me; after all, she had lived on Maui for a few years and I could hardly wait for the show to start. But I wasn’t able to get on the Wi-Fi with my laptop, so I had to use the Ethernet cable which was in the living room, right next to the couch on which Roland preferred to sit like the king of the house. So first I had to get Roland out of the way. Bianca suggested he go golfing with Max while we two women spent the morning at the apartment. This suggestion made Roland suspicious; what were those two planning that they wanted him out of the way? So he announced