Virtue
The past few weeks of hope and worry had sapped my energy. While I had tried to obtain the best treatment for Gerd and continued to work full time, my eating and sleeping habits had become rather unhealthy. I was physically drained and exhausted.
Even worse, I had completely neglected Justin. Instead of taking care of him, he supported and kept me stable while, in contrast, he never spoke about his own feelings.
Once again, it was about time to go see my healer. While working with the energies, Mrs. Sigler realized how badly Gerd was doing and how my health had suffered under the whole situation and therefore she advised me to “leave his body to the doctors and live your own life.”
I knew she meant well, but this statement shocked me and I couldn’t accept it at all.
As Justin and I drove home from the clinic on Christmas Eve 2011, we remained both very quiet and spoke very little. We felt very sad because we had to leave Gerd at the hospital and couldn’t celebrate Christmas at home with him. That night, I had to pay special attention to the road. Ice and snow made the ride extremely difficult and tiring. As we drove out of a small forest, Justin suddenly discovered a shiny comet in the night sky! We were excited about this glowing sign of holy night and took comfort and new courage.
In order to gain some distance and think more clearly, I dared flying to the USA the day after Christmas to visit my daughter, Daniela, who was still completing her internship abroad in Chicago. She lived in a small company-paid apartment in Schaumberg, IL, equipped with kitchen, desk, bed and bathroom which was furnished more for practicality than aesthetics. But the queen-sized bed was big enough for both of us.
Daniela also had a company car at her disposal and therefore she was able to pick me up at the airport. While eating a small dinner, I reported on Gerd’s progress in detail before we went to bed early.
In the days that followed, we had breakfast together and when she had to go to work, she would let me out somewhere on her way or I would simply walk over to the mall which stood only a few hundred yards from the apartment complex. It was windy and an icy cold had a grip on the city, so I had to dress warmly every time I left the house to go somewhere. After all, there’s a reason Chicago is called the “Windy City”.
When Daniela’s schedule allowed, we would meet for lunch or, at the latest, for dinner.
So I spent a few wonderful days in Illinois doing various activities and yet I still had sufficient opportunity to relax and get my thoughts in order while I knew Gerd was being well taken care of at the rehabilitation clinic.
My joy was complete when we discovered the “Grand Lux Café” where Gerd and I had eaten years before on the Magnificent Mile on Michigan Avenue! I hadn’t expected the restaurant to even exist anymore, so Daniela and I spontaneously decided to eat there on New Year’s Eve and then go watch the fireworks on the pier. Even though it was too late to make a reservation already, we were lucky and got a lovely table by the window directly overlooking the Magnificent Mile!
As I enjoyed the Christmas lights and watched the people hurrying by outside on the street, a few tears ran down my face because dear Gerd couldn’t be with us this time.
A few days after I returned, a friend of mine told me about Mrs. Heinz who practiced energetic spinal adjustment. I got in touch with the practitioner and explained Gerd’s situation to her. Since he wasn’t in the condition to go see Mrs. Heinz at her office, I was thrilled when she said she would be willing to visit Gerd at the rehabilitation clinic to see if she could help him.
We made an appointment for the following Saturday. I arrived there a few hours prior to the time agreed and was truly astonished when the chief physician personally appeared in Gerd’s room that early in the morning. After all, it was the weekend! Somehow, the professor must have heard about our plans and was curious to see what we were up to do with his patient.
I hoped and prayed he would leave the ward before Mrs. Heinz arrived. Although we certainly weren’t planning anything nefarious, it suddenly felt like a conspiracy.
Somehow, the practitioner managed to spend a few minutes alone with Gerd. When she approached his bed, he had his back turned and his eyes closed. We couldn’t tell if he was asleep or just dozing. Mrs. Heinz stood behind him and held her hands over Gerd’s chest and head without touching him, when Gerd suddenly took a deep breath, exhaled forcefully through his mouth and opened his eyes. I was startled with surprise. But Mrs. Heinz was beaming and said the fact that he reacted so severely to the energy she had given him meant he was starting to heal. We could expect significant progress over the next six months!
After the treatment, Gerd slept deeply for several hours and I was blissful.
“Our intellect can tell us what we should better leave. But our hearts can tell us what we have to do.”
Joseph Joubert
To me, the next logical step was to remove the tube from his stomach and start getting Gerd used to eating and drinking regular food and water. Unfortunately, my opinion led to an argument with the chief physician. From his medical point of view, he found it essential for Gerd to continue artificially feeding because that was the only way to determine how much food and, in particular, fluids, Gerd had consumed every day. I explained to him how Gerd must feel not having had anything to drink for weeks; that the mucus membranes in his mouth and throat were completely dried out. And enjoying a delicious meal had always meant to me an increase in quality in life.
But he was convinced Gerd was doing fine and the chance of choking and causing another lung infection was way too much of a risk!
Since I knew that food and drink had always been one of Gerd’s favorites, I insisted they’d give it a try, and the chief physician supervised personally! He fed Gerd, who was strapped to a wheelchair, a spoonful of yogurt while a nurse and I watched in suspense. Gerd clearly enjoyed the taste and had no problems chewing and swallowing! As though he wanted to prove me wrong, now the doctor fed Gerd several spoonsful of yogurt at shorter and shorter intervals, but still Gerd easily ate the food he was fed and clearly enjoyed the change. He even made a few happy sounds and smacked his tongue. “Mmmm! Good!”
Almost annoyed, the doctor gruffly placed the cup of yogurt and the spoon on the table and left the nurse and me alone in the hospital room with Gerd.
On the contrary, the outcomes of the neurological examinations were less pleasant as they indicated Gerd was blind! I could hardly believe that, because when someone spoke to him, he always turned his head in the direction of the speaker. His blue eyes seemed so alive they gave the impression he could see. Unfortunately, the test results were very distinct and left no room for speculation nor hope for improvement.
But there was even more to deal with. As often as we could, we moved Gerd from his hospital bed to a wheelchair and took him for a little ride right through the numerous buildings of the clinic, where we would usually end up at the small self-service cafeteria.
Whenever Gerd heard the sound of the automated coffee machine, his ears would perk up, he would turn his head in that direction and start tapping on the surface of the wheelchair tray table as though he were programming a machine.
I wasn’t sure if I should consider this reaction good or bad. On the one hand, any reaction to his environment was a good thing, but on the other, it showed how connected Gerd was to his job that it even had become instinct. He clearly knew what to do when it came to machines, but couldn’t recognize that he wasn’t at work, but in an early rehabilitation clinic, strapped to a wheelchair! The degree to which Gerd was helplessly trapped in a complex situation remained unclear to outsiders and frightened me in particular!
So I tried to think of alternative ways how to use Gerd’s instinctive reactions for his brain’s rehab and considered bringing a kid’s laptop to the hospital, that Justin had played with years ago.
The display showed pictures and figures and one was supposed to say their names aloud. Or it said English words which the person would repeat in German and vice-versa. Intuitively I thought it would be good training. But then I started questioning everything: