on the spectrum, then confirmed my diagnosis a few years later. I also deal with depression and anxiety and most likely some ADHD.
Martha learned important life skills as a teen and young adult.
My first volunteer work was visiting patients at a nursing home when I was about 16. Later, in my 20s, I helped tutor people who were learning English. I’ve kept up volunteer work throughout my life. For many years I worked with Friends of the California State Fair. I prepared the monthly newsletter and was the board secretary at one point. I have also been active in church and still help out as an usher.
Martha’s family background was not very nurturing, but she recalls two positive influences outside her family. When one became increasingly sexually inappropriate with her, she ended the relationship, but she still credits him with teaching her important life and work skills.
There was a man I worked for when I was a teenager in the 1970s. At the time I needed a job and was going into as many shops as I could looking for one. I would go repeatedly if they said “no” the first time. The third time I went into this man’s shop he hired me, saying he was impressed that I was so persistent. It was a radio and TV repair shop, back in the days when there were lots of shelves full of “tubes” that had to be stored and inventoried. I understood the work quickly and was a natural because it required a lot of attention to detail. I wasn’t as good with customer service, but he taught me how to appropriately answer the phone and interact with customers.
Martha has struggled socially, but at this point in her life has found a comfortable amount of connection with others through her work and with members of her church.
I developed absolutely no friendships during my college days. I have never been in a romantic or sexual relationship. I have had female friends off and on over the years.
Often when I am in a group, I feel that I am invisible. Or that I talk too much and people just tolerate or ignore me. I do not enjoy parties or other group activities and, as I have gotten older, I have learned that I have the right to decline invitations to events that I find overwhelming or where I know I am not going to fit in or enjoy myself.
One advantage to my current workplace is that I have a lot of social interaction with the faculty here, and because it is in a rather structured environment, it is just the right amount of social life for me and not threatening or oppressive. I have also become very bonded with my cat and get a lot of enjoyment out of her closeness and companionship.
Martha’s work has been a success on multiple levels and is a good example of how important a good fit is at work. Later in the book, we’ll tell you more about her vocational journey and its twists and turns. Her example of continually moving forward in spite of obstacles and a serious setback is inspiring.
I have worked in my current job since 1999. I spend most of my time around science faculty. This is the first job I have had where I am respected for my intellect and skills and not resented or bullied for my quirks. Over the years I have gotten very close to most of the faculty and consider them more as family than as coworkers. I also like the fact that I can manage my time at work independently without a lot of close supervision, and that I can come to work dressed comfortably.
I also appreciate that I work later hours so I don’t have to get going too early in the morning. And I appreciate that we have a lot of time off, and that the school year ebbs and flows, so there are busy times which are relieved by quieter times.
COSETTE, 18
College student and aspiring illustrator, currently selling her art on Etsy.com Diagnosed with Asperger’s at age six
Cosette was referred to Debra’s practice by her pediatric neurologist for further evaluation and testing. Her assessment confirmed a diagnosis of Asperger’s Disorder. Intelligence testing showed Cosette was very bright—her overall intelligence was in the superior range. It also revealed that she was faster and more accurate at grasping nonverbal concepts, such as shapes and designs, than 99.9% of her peers! Now, on the brink of adulthood, she is using this strength to pursue the avocation of illustrator, and at the age of 18 is already selling some of her work online and at anime and comic con conventions.
Cosette started life with many struggles, and is a great example of a child who needed and benefited greatly from some extra help and guidance. Without the ongoing direct influence and direction of her parents, it’s unlikely she would have automatically picked up the skills required for the adolescence she ended up having. It is doubtful she would have been poised for the adulthood that now appears to await her.
Her mother, Stephanie, recalls some of the gut-wrenching beginnings.
Cosette was like a cat when she was a wee one. She only wanted to be held when she wanted it. She hated to be swaddled. She preferred floor time to lap time. She had tantrums and retreated into a “turtle” position when she was upset. She and I had many problems with defiance and anger. When she started talking, she had echolalia and inappropriate speech. She had horrible sensory problems—everything was too loud, too scratchy, too bright, too everything.
Are you familiar with the The Miracle Worker? There is a scene in the movie where Annie and Helen are locked in the dining room while the anxious family hovers outside. Anne finally comes out, disheveled and with egg in her hair, and simply says, “She folded her napkin.” We had many days like that when Cosette was young. Getting through the day sometimes was hard for both of us, but we kept “folding the napkin.”
Cosette’s parents tried many approaches, some more successful than others. Academically, at various points they tried mainstreaming, special education, and even transferring her to a different school. Bullying was a problem. They later found out one of her teachers had been a “yeller” and Cosette had hung in “teeth and toenails” in that noisy class, always exhausted by day’s end.
Therapeutically, everything from stickers and charts to PCIT (Parent/Child Interactive Therapy) and social skills groups was tried. Often Cosette outsmarted the adults and was known to pronounce interventions “time wasters.”
We did the best we could with the knowledge and resources we had. The most important thing we did was and is to love her unconditionally. I like Cosette. She is an amazing young woman.
Cosette currently attends community college, while also accumulating a portfolio of her artwork and selling drawings at local conventions and her neighborhood used bookstore. You’ll read more about the path she took from being a kid in elementary school who liked to draw for her schoolmates, to one that now has her doing commissioned pieces for groups, and most recently, a software company.
DANIEL, 25
Graduate of Brigham Young University, with an M.S. in Math Diagnosed with Asperger’s at age nine
When first interviewed, Daniel was in limbo between graduating and struggling to find employment in his chosen field. After college he had moved back in with his parents, then relocated to a larger town better suited for vocational opportunities. He moved in with his brother, who was already living there. He just learned that he has been invited to participate in training for a position with SAP, a German-owed software company that operates in over 130 countries.
This company specifically looks for employees with autism, with a hiring goal of 2% of their workforce being on the spectrum. Daniel hopes to use his skills in mathematical data analysis, a key component of the corporation’s services. Daniel says he was always good at math. His father, John, chuckled as he recalled his son once saying, “Math is my first language. In fact, I’ve been doing math my whole life. When I was conceived as a cell, I was already multiplying and dividing!”
His story is an example of how “it takes a village.”
My brother David is good with computers. He inspired me to start teaching myself to program. I was raised Mormon. I was in the Boy Scouts, which is really integrated with our church. Becoming an Eagle Scout is fairly rare, but it was expected. The church had camps where you work on your merit badges and where they don’t have Internet— that helped a lot. Later