Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood. Eric Rosswood

in Texas did not sound too positive. As the elevator doors slowly opened with the sound of metal rubbing against metal, we had no idea what to expect. The hospital episode had started.

      Walking down the hall to Mercy’s room, we were greeted by many of the nursing staff. They were eager to give us the armbands that allowed unrestricted access to our baby and tried to contain their excitement while asking about our drive. I refrained from mentioning The Help. One of the nurses finally apologized and stated that we probably wanted to meet the little girl. We did! As we quickly continued on toward Mercy’s room, Dylan’s mom appeared in the hallway. Her smile immediately put us at ease.

      We walked into the room and saw Mercy sitting on the bed holding the smallest human being I had ever seen—sweet little Harper. We quickly hugged Mercy and everyone else in the room before we laid our eyes on the new baby for the first time. It is hard to describe the emotion of that moment.

      As the next several hours passed, we had the chance to feed, diaper, cuddle and kiss our little girl. Mercy had been cleared for discharge that afternoon, but Harper had to stay through the night so the medical team could monitor her body temperature. The hospital gave Matthew and I our own room so we could spend our first night together with Harper as a new family. Mercy was ready to be discharged, but she requested some time alone with the baby first. With all the constant visitors, she hadn’t gotten any mother-daughter time with Harper. Everything had been moving in a positive direction until the nursing shift changed. In fewer than ten minutes, it all quickly turned to chaos.

      The night-shift nurse entered the room and insisted she needed Harper’s car seat that instant. A few minutes later, the baby was wheeled out of the hospital room for a two-hour car seat test. It didn’t take long for our protective instincts to kick in. Matthew chased the nurse down the hall to explain the circumstances. We pleaded with her, asking to delay the car seat check until later that night, so Mercy could spend some time with Harper before leaving. No luck. Emotions had reached the breaking point. The lack of sleep accompanied by the magnitude of the adoption plan was not the best combination. In the end, Mercy was discharged without having what she really needed: alone time with her baby.

      In light of what happened with the night-shift nurse, Mercy decided to get some rest at home and planned to visit the next day. We offered her our room when she did. She was our main concern at that moment: It was our goal to make sure that Mercy had everything she wanted or needed at the hospital. To give her some extra space while visiting with Harper, Matthew and I decided to get some fresh air and grab something to eat.

      When we got back to the hospital, we received the good news that Miss Harper was being discharged. We let Mercy pick an outfit for Harper to wear on her way out. Mercy carefully evaluated all of the options and made her selection. Then we, as Harper’s posse, walked out of the hospital with bags, blankets, pillows, diapers, formula and a car seat. The nurse made sure that Harper was buckled securely into her car seat. We hugged everyone and made plans to have dinner later that evening.

      When we arrived at our hotel, the staff was waiting patiently for us. Before we even opened the car door, many staff members were peeking out from the lobby. Everyone was hoping for a quick glimpse of the new arrival.

      As we opened the door to our room, we were met with another pleasant surprise. The entire hotel staff had signed a banner that exclaimed: “It’s a Girl!” They had also filled the room with pink balloons and pink flowers. We were in awe of their amazing hospitality. It felt like Texas had rolled out the red carpet and welcomed us with open arms.

      This was our first real night alone with Harper and the first chance to settle into our new roles as parents. However, like others who have adopted or are in the process of adopting, Matthew and I were just theoretically babysitting until the relinquishment documents had been signed and the revocation period was completed. For an agency adoption, there is no revocation period in Texas and the relinquishment documents cannot be signed until forty-eight hours after the birth of the child. Our counselor was traveling to Abilene from Houston and had scheduled a meeting to sign all of these documents at three o’clock the next afternoon. We began holding our breath. Our nerves were out of control.

      Matthew and I had already planned to stay in Abilene through the weekend and leave on Tuesday morning. It is not uncommon for an adoptive family to leave town immediately after the relinquishment documents are signed, but we chose to wait an extra five days. We wanted to spend as much time as possible with Mercy and Dylan and the rest of the birth-family. Matthew and I wanted to reassure everyone that this was not a goodbye: It was a new beginning. We were very committed to the idea of an open adoption.

      Thursday, August 22, 2013. The day had arrived that could truly make us dads. The hotel graciously offered a vacant suite for our counselor to use. Mercy and Dylan’s mother, Stacie, came to the hotel a few hours before the meeting. While Stacie and I talked about everything from food to medical insurance, Matthew got carried away with the digital camera. It seemed like every couple of seconds the sound of the camera shutter echoed through the room. The results were phenomenal. We still look at those pictures often.

      Soon our adoption counselor from the agency arrived and asked who wanted to go first. My heart started to beat faster. I felt nauseous. I couldn’t think straight and every possible outcome played out in my head.

      Everything was happening very fast. After what seemed like only four or five blinks of an eye, she returned and asked Matthew and I to sign two forms. We were now officially dads!

      The counselor posed for a couple of pictures, asked if we had any questions, gave everyone a hug and then left. I held my composure as plans were being made with Mercy and Stacie for later that night. Everyone gave hugs and said a quick goodbye, as we would all be back together in just a couple of hours. When the door to our room closed, Matthew started to do his quirky happy dance. We hugged each other, hugged Harper and then one of us asked, “Now what?”