to watch TV on any given evening than to talk with family and friends. The typical American father spends ten minutes a day talking to his children. Time in front of the TV? Four to six hours. That's more than a third of our waking lives. No offense, but it takes more skill to brush your teeth than it does to watch TV.
Slowly, over time, we have given up our inheritance. We have turned over our power to think for ourselves, to make things up, to imagine, to plan, and to dream. Inside each and every one of us is a master chef, an inventor, a writer, a leader. All these heroes, these immense giants that exist within our souls, are sick to death of watching “Days of Our Lives.”
Sure, we may know about every famine that hits Africa, the scores of every sporting event, and every nuance of the latest crime. But what do we do about it?
“Just sit there and watch TV.”
An Amish woman in southern Pennsylvania once told a pollster who asked about modern conveniences, “We don't want TV because it would keep us from visiting our neighbors. How can we care for each other if we do not know our neighbors?”
The fourth component of Living Big is Making a Big Difference, or the Attitude of Commitment. It means taking up a cause, leaving a legacy. It means standing up and taking action, believing in the power of one person to make a difference.
5. Imagining Big: The Attitude of Creativity, or why you should never “stay in line.” The only problem with this often-heard piece of advice is that nobody knows where the line is. And anybody who pretends to is, at best, showing you his or her own line. Which is fine for them. But it's not your line. Pretty much anything is possible, and you are free to adapt any guidelines you choose. But there is no line.
French naturalist John Henry Fabre did an interesting experiment with processionary caterpillars. Their name should pretty much give them away: They get in a line and blindly follow the procession. It doesn't matter if the leader is heading over a cliff or under a car tire. The good little caterpillars stay in line. Fabre filled a large flower pot with dirt. Around the rim, he placed fifteen processionary caterpillars. Sure enough, they followed each other, around and around the circle, until it was impossible to tell which was the leader and which were the followers.
In the center of the lower pot, he put a plentiful supply of pine needles, the caterpillar's main food source. Unfortunately, the caterpillars marched around and around for seven days and seven nights until they finally keeled over from starvation and exhaustion.
I think that's what we've done. We've lost track of who is the leader and who is the follower. I don't mean to point fingers, but maybe staying in line is leading us to a bland, exhausting, and spiritually starved march toward nothingness. We need to get out of our line and express who we really are.
The fifth attitude of Living Big is Imagining Big, or the Attitude of Creativity. On the day you were born, God presented you with a creative gift. It is a gift the world needs. Imagining Big means being open to the magic, the deep vistas that fill up your soul.
6. Playing Big: The Attitude of Happiness, or why you should never “wipe that silly grin off your face.” “They say” we should not allow ourselves to be sidetracked with goofiness. Our job is to “do our job” and to “contribute to the growth of our nation.”
Silliness, they say, is a waste of valuable time.
To that, I say, “Lo-to-to.” In fact, we need more silliness, more willingness to look like a crackpot.
The word silly was originally a Middle English word, sillig, that meant “blessing.” If all of us were willing to do three silly things a day, things like wear our coats backward or yodel on traffic-jammed freeways, we would unquestionably receive more blessings. We would be freer to break new paths, find new adventures. As People Who Live Big, we are not here to do what has already been done.
Maybe all of us should loosen up a bit and hitch our dreams to a sillier star.
The sixth attitude of Living Big is Playing Big, or what I call the Attitude of Happiness. It means seeing life as a grand adventure, viewing each day as an unusual and exciting experience.
7. Loving Big: The Attitude of Spirituality, or why it really doesn't matter if you “always wear clean underwear.” There's just one problem with this bit of well-meaning advice. Clean underwear focuses on material things. It insinuates that if you have the right underwear or the right furniture or the right car that somehow life will be smoother. Material things, in case you haven't figured out by now, do not make us happy.
In fact, I would hazard to say that our blind chase for the material is what makes us so unhappy and so stressed. It doesn't make a bit of difference what kind of underwear you're wearing. The only things that matters are what dreams are written on your heart and how much compassion and love can you spread to your fellow man.
The last attitude of Living Big is Loving Big, or the Attitude of Spirituality. You're not doing anyone any favors when you play small. Loving Big means recognizing who you are and why you're here.
THERE'S MORE....
For each attitude, I've included three sections: profiles of People Who Live Big (heretofore known as PLBs), 3 Big Questions, and Boot Camp for the Soul.
People Who Live Big
NEVER DOUBT THAT A SMALL GROUP OF COMMITTED CITIZENS CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. INDEED, IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT EVER HAS.
—Margaret Mead
People who want to paint study Picasso. People who want to play piano study Mozart. Those of us who want to live big, well, we're going to study PLBs (People Who Live Big).
Throughout history, there have been thousands of people who have summoned the courage to follow a personal vision. People like Mary Colter, a revolutionary architect who began her career in 1902, eighteen years before women had even received the right to vote. People like Osseola McCarty, a Mississippi washerwoman, who raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for scholarships for African American kids who might otherwise not have gone to college. People like Jimmie Davis, who in his short 101 years, was governor of Louisiana and a successful country and western songwriter. People like C. J. Walker, who became the country's first female millionaire by making and selling hair products.
To live big is to join a powerful brotherhood. It's to come face to face with Joan of Arc, Michael Jordan, Eric Clapton. It's to take on the cloak of Shakespeare, Rumi, and Oprah Winfrey, who said, “I always knew I was a hit record just waiting to happen.” It's to join a proud circle with many members from all places and times.
The PLBs you'll find in this book are all living today. They're people I've run across in my work as a journalist. Some of them I know personally. Some of them I've profiled for magazines. Some of them I've just followed because they inspire me to “make my life extraordinary.”
All of them are excellent models of what is possible. Scientists know the importance of role models in learning and behavior. A semanticist named Alfred Korzybski called this unique ability to learn from others “time-binding.” The knowledge gained by others binds us all together; if one person can do it, the rest of us can, too.
You've probably heard of the Hundredth Monkey Theory. It seems that monkeys on a remote island mastered a new method of getting bananas down from trees. Before long, monkeys on other islands began retrieving bananas the same way, even though they'd had no physical contact with the monkeys who'd first mastered the technique. The theory is that if enough members of a group (in this instance, a hundred monkeys) acquire a new piece of knowledge or a new skill, it will pass into the collective unconscious and all members will acquire it.
When one of us turns up the voltage, all of us see more clearly.
Those who can tap quickly into the knowledge of others and who can acquire new skills, attitudes, and behaviors have a critical advantage in life. Martin Luther King,