Prayer
Would you mind it if I prayed for you?
Dear God,
Let this woman.
The one you made from my rib.
The one who made you take the next day off
so you could worship what you just did.
May the first man she raises be her kid.
And not one of these boys
…who use their toys to distract her
from doing her homework.
…who would only consider giving her the world
if she promises to take them home first.
I pray that you always remember that you’re the catch.
That the battle is for your mind and the reward is the sex.
That when they become bad for you,
You become good at ignoring their texts.
May the space between where she is
and where she wants to be
Be filled with good vibes and better company.
When she’s alone and in her feelings,
Wondering why she isn’t already
married with children,
Give her patience.
Let her hold out for a man that’s better than basic.
One safe enough for her to tell her wildest dreams,
And crazy enough to help her chase them.
May he be so close that she can taste it.
And if he’s not,
Give her enough confidence to call her own shots.
Enough common sense to call the cops.
Because it’s a crime to be out here
getting treated less than
“Beyoncé.”
May the progression of her partnership be
best friend turned fiancé.
Until then,
Bless this young queen with enough options
That she starts to feel like a priority.
And what she lacks in confidence,
let her make up for in authority.
Reach her. Teach her.
To always love the skin that she’s in.
Promise to protect her from anything not sent by you
And forgive her for her sins.
Amen.
God and Love
These are two of the greatest stories ever told, though they are not often enough connected. “Boyfriend” is no exception. Maybe it’s because if you loved God as much as you could, you would notice that the man you loved really wasn’t a man at all, and it would force you to change. Maybe it’s because you did love God, and then you met this man, and this man became more of a wedge than a bridge between you and God. Maybe you didn’t know God before you knew love. And as you grew closer to God, you grew further away from your boyfriend. In any of these cases, there is a woman torn between a man and a myth. If she is not careful, if she is not strong, if she doesn’t believe in something other than this man, then she will live and die by the presence of a man who has yet to promise that he will never leave her.
I cannot express enough the value, the peace, the comfort, of having a man who fears not only you, but also God. If God orders his steps and you follow this man, it’s like you are going in the direction in which you were already going, but now you have company. I don’t know who this book may reach. I’m not sure what God, if any, they believe in. All I can say is that there must be something other than things like physical attraction, convenience, or history to bind two people together. If not, when these things fade away, so will the love. Why? Because love is only as strong as the foundation it is built on. What better bricks with which to lay the foundation for longevity than a love that has lasted over two thousand years?
In a perfect world, life is good. You will have your man, you will have your God, and, together, the three of you will build a wall of love, hope, and respect; of trust, prayer, and faith. And as the three of you grow together, this wall will become higher—high enough that the negative won’t be able to climb over and reach you.
The problem is that after the wall is built, sometimes not all of you are on the same side. So the question is, which side do you pick? You pick you. You pick possibility. You say to yourself, it’s going to take all three of us. After that, the math should be easy. You will always have you. God is everywhere, so the only thing left to do is find a man who loves you both.
Beast
To the ones who don’t look like what they’ve been through.
The ones who have a pain in their heart
that from time to time still puts
a tear or two in their eyes…
Still, they manage
To wake up every morning with a smile on their face,
When just last year, last week, last night,
They were face to face with a demon
Disguised as a friend.
I see you.
Everyone won’t know your journey.
Nor should they have to.
Just keep pushing.
Until you’re pregnant with possibility,
Swollen with self-love,
Covered in confidence.
Dominate the doubters
dedicated to documenting your demise.
Be Beast.
In a world where they only want you
to be pretty and quiet,
Curse your critics with enough conviction
to counter your cadence.
And if you ever
Become more mush than mantle,
More punching bag than pile driver,
Look no further than your reflection.
A reminder that you are woman.
That you are here.
That you will not go quietly.
Make memories of your enemies.
Family of your friends.
And the rest of your life the best of your life.
All you’ve got is what you have.
Make it all you need.
And when the strangers approach,
If they are not safe enough to let them pet your mane,
May your roar be loud enough
to keep them at bay.
Research
When I asked my grandmother what she meant when she called