GIVING THANKS
The Gifts of Gratitude
M. J. RYAN
First published in 2007 by Conari Press,
an imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC
With offices at:
500 Third Street, Suite 230
San Francisco, CA 94107
Copyright © 1999, 2007 by Red Wheel/Weiser Books and Conari Press. All rights
reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording,
or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing
from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages. Portions of
this book originally appeared in Attitudes of Gratitude, Conari Press, 1999,
ISBN: 1-57324-149-6
ISBN-10: 1-57324-317-5
ISBN-13: 978-1-57324-317-9
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available upon request
Cover and interior design by Maija Tollefson
Cover photograph © Mitch Hrdlicka/Getty Images
Interior photographs: pages 6,, 8, 16, 20, 30, 35, 66, 72, 74, 78, 86, 90, 108, 109, 110, 116, 112, and 173 © Alison Miksch/Brand X Pictures; pages 13 and 19 © Pregnancy & Babies/Photodisc; pages 38 and 102 © Daniel Talbott; pages 25, 50, 56, 63, 97, and 127 © Helen Wolkerstorfer; pages 10 and 69 © aheinzen/iStockphoto; page 170 © manley099/iStockphoto; page 52 © digital_eye/iStockphoto; page 49 © FEMWorks/iStockphoto.
Printed in China
MD
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CONTENTS
PART 1 The Gifts of Gratitude 9
PART 2 The Grace of Gratitude 53
PART 3 The Acts of Gratitude 103
Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.
—Milton Erickson, M.D.
INTRODUCTION
If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled. If your happi-
ness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with
what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing
lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
—LAO TZU
Do you know that happiness, the sheer joy in being alive, is within your reach?
All you need is an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude creates happiness because it
makes us feel full, complete; it’s the recognition that we have all we need, at least
in this moment.
Recent scientific research has begun to indicate that positive emotions, such
as gratitude and love, strengthen and enhance the immune system, enabling the
body to resist disease and recover more quickly from illness, through the release
of endorphins into the bloodstream. Endorphins are the body’s natural painkillers.
Among other effects, they stimulate dilation of the blood vessels, which leads to a
relaxed heart.
What this means is that the more we experience a sense of gratitude, we lit-
erally bathe ourselves in good hormones and feel happier and more content with
our lives. Like most great spiritual truths, gratitude is stunningly simple. This is
not to say it’s necessarily easy to practice. All kinds of distractions, obfuscation,
and negative attitudes from our upbringings may get in the way. But all you really
have to do to receive gratitude’s gifts is make a commitment to be thankful on a
daily basis, and the world will be suddenly transformed into a beautiful wonder-
land in which you are invited to play.
PART 1
the gifts of gratitude
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and
more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. . . .
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision
for tomorrow.
—Melody Beattie
Consciously cultivating thankfulness is a journey of the soul, one that begins
when we look around us and see the positive effects that gratitude creates.We do
this by noticing those around us to whom gratefulness comes easily and realizing
how much we enjoy being around these people.
We also tap into these gifts as we think about times in the past when we felt
particularly grateful. Remember the peacefulness and the delight that accompa-
nied those times? As we come to understand the gifts of gratitude, we realize that
being grateful is not something remote or foreign, but part of the natural joyful
expression of our full humanness.
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In humble moments when we can no longer gloss over the roughness of life, grat-
itude has a way of pushing out the real soreness of feeling cheated or inadequate
to the rugged realities of the world. Gratitude seemed to be a handy response to
dodge the tough things for which there are no simple or comforting answers.
— Patrick J. Malone
Take a few minutes to reflect back on a happy moment in your life that stands out
for you, a moment that stays with you, even if it happened ten, twenty, forty years
ago. Experience it again—see the scene, hear the sounds that were around you,
feel the sensations.What was it about that moment that stays with you? What was
going on for you that allowed you to feel grateful?
That’s the most wonderful thing about gratitude—it makes you feel full,
bursting with delight, just to remember the gifts you have received. Thus are we
doubly blessed—when we receive something, for the gift itself, and later, in