28: Emptied
Your Story: Changes to Family
Your Story: A Time of Peak Learning
Prologue
Smoke-filled skies blocked our view as we listened to the weather advisory for the Okanagan. Forest fires were raging. Air quality was so poor, we were advised to stay indoors. I paced around my house. My beach bag brimming with summer fun taunted me from the closet. Restless boredom threatened to take hold as I peered out at the gloomy red-tinted haze covering the valley.
What should I do? How should I make the most of being stuck in the house this summer? The idea came instantly. Write. Just write. Dig out old journals and get back to all of the unfinished pages. What to write? That was easy. Life experiences.
By the end of the summer, I had a collection of significant memories about my life captured on paper. But much more important than the first draft that had been created, I had had a revelation, a cathartic experience. Somehow, in the thinking and the writing about my life, I had renewed clarification of how my life all fit together. I had a glimpse of God’s purpose and plan for me as I was being “knit together” (Psalm 139:13) in my mother’s womb. I noticed, with a fresh perspective, how the silver threads of God had designed a purpose and plan for me. I could also see with clearer vision how God had been near to me in every life situation. He had responded to my every prayer, in a unique and personal way for each request, even though I often missed the answer at the time.
It is my hope that as you read my life stories you will be inspired and motivated to dig out a journal and begin writing your life stories too. I pray that as you write your stories you will see the silver threads of God in the design of your life and that His presence in your life experiences will be revealed.
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If you are drawn to this invitation to begin writing, the following process may help you. After you read my stories, consider how they relate to situations or experiences in your life.
Reflect.
Questions are included after every chapter to inspire your reflection and recall of your past experiences, thoughts, and emotions.
With all of these thoughts and reflections buzzing through your mind, start writing.
Write your story.
Include everything that comes to your mind, even if it is painful. The mental and physical act of writing has the potential to bring healing and relief. It may enable you to reframe your experience and gain a new understanding of why all of these things happened to you.
Writing your stories may help you understand your life purpose and the unique plan that God has for your life. May you see your life from God’s perspective and gain insight about life experiences that have puzzled you.
If the reflection and writing process leaves you with more questions and difficult memories to process, I encourage you to shift your focus upward.
Pray.
Pray over the reflections that you have just experienced. Commit your thoughts and emotions to God and ask Him to show you His perspective of your life.
Write your prayers.
I encourage you to write prayers to God, asking Him your every unanswered question. Leave space in your journal below your prayers to return later and record answers that God has given you.
I am praying for you, dear reader, and have included a prayer after each reflection to help bring all of your experiences and thoughts to God. May He comfort you and give you His peace.
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:7
The Four Dimensions of Reflection
When we purposefully and meaningfully reflect on our experiences, we can deepen our learning and gain added perspective. The questions in this book are intended to guide you through purposeful reflection on your life experiences. They will lead you to four different perspectives, known as the four dimensions of reflection. The last chapter of this book explains how I created the four dimensions of reflection, which include thinking back, thinking inward, thinking outward, and thinking forward.
You can use the following guide to reflect on any significant event or season in your life when you learned by doing (i.e., walking through a cancer journey with a family member or friend) or a specific learning pursuit (i.e., attending a workshop or taking a course).
I. Thinking Back
Reflecting on a learning experience or recalling a learning event after it has taken place enables you to revisit the experience from a fresh and different perspective. You may remember previously gained knowledge that was buried or forgotten.
Questions that help uncover learning from the past:
• What was the original purpose of this project/experience?
• What was your motive for completion of this project/experience?
• What were the critical factors helping or hindering completion of this project?
• What specific skills/knowledge/attributes were necessary for completion of this project?
• What did you learn from this project/experience?
• When did the most learning occur? How do you know this?
II. Thinking Inward
Introspective reflections help us to engage our emotions. Reflecting on a previous experience is more meaningful when it connects to our emotions that we felt at the time. A deeper understanding of our own feelings and emotions leads to a higher level of learning.
Questions that lead to an intrinsic connection:
• Why was this project or experience meaningful to you?
• What are your personal beliefs regarding this learning experience?
• Do you agree or disagree with the way you learned this? Why or why not?
• What differences has the learning made in your intellectual, personal, or ethical development?
• What were the highest and lowest emotional moments in your learning experience?
III. Thinking Outward
Reflecting on the world around us requires an extended point of view. Identifying the attitudes and opinions of another person, such as a family member, a friend, an author, a co-worker, or a person from another culture, leads us to further consideration of our own belief systems. The value in these contrasts and comparisons of beliefs is that it causes us to either expand our personal point of view or become more affirmed in our reasons for believing the way we do. Reflecting outwardly may lead to new ideas or perspectives on our experiences.
Questions that encourage extrinsic reflection:
• How are you looking at this topic? Can you identify another point of view?
• How might a person from another culture or religion look at this?
• Which of these viewpoints makes the most sense?
• Is your current concept about a topic causing problems for others?
• Does the problem or question in your mind have historical, ethical, scientific, political, or economic considerations?
IV. Thinking Forward
As we reflect on how we would do things differently in the future, we approach learning with added potential for insight. A deeper level of learning occurs with hindsight, along with gained wisdom and an enriched perspective.
Questions