and powerful thoughts, feelings, and reflections Journaling opens the door to healing as it allows you to process unwanted emotions and feelings. Sometimes, as you commit to writing, the floodgates of your heart open up, unleashing pent-up feelings and emotions that you never knew existed. Let your thoughts flow unhindered and try not to worry about your grammar or punctuation. This exercise is not about perfection, but rather about healing and wholeness. Allow God to minister to you as you journal and practice the contemplative exercises. Spending time in quiet and solitude will allow God to minister to you deeply and eventually free you to be the woman God created you to be as you fulfill God’s purposes for your life.
Small Group Participation and Leader’s Tips
After you complete your weekly lesson, you will meet once a week (or bi-weekly if that works better) for group discussion, sharing, questions, and prayer. Small group participation can help solidify God’s truth in your heart and mind, allow you the space to be yourself, and provide the opportunity to experience authentic Christian community.
About the Leader
The woman who leads the group should have past experience in leading small groups and feel called of God to encourage healing and wholeness in others. She should be a woman of faith who is sensitive, loving, a good listener, prayerful, and a servant leader.
Tips for the Leader
It is important if you are meeting in a weekly (or bi-weekly) group that you keep the group open to receiving new members for two consecutive weeks only. After the second group meeting, it is wise to close the group to new members in order for the group to grow in developing trust, cohesiveness, and safe intimate sharing. It is also important for each participant to have experienced a certain measure of inner healing in her heart and life in order to gain the most out of the material and contemplative exercises.
When you meet as a group, it is not necessary to go over every question and answer for each lesson, but only the highlights. Pick several questions for each lesson and ask the women to share their answers. The goal is for the women to understand the topic or theme of each lesson and apply what they are learning to their lives. Be creative as you lead; be open to God as God leads through you. Pray before you begin each meeting.
Tips for Group Members
If possible, practice three key principles as you gather together.
Be true to yourself
Honesty and openness create intimacy with God and others. When you have suffered abuse, trust takes time to develop. A safe and loving group will enable you to be yourself as you begin to share from your heart. Stay true to your thoughts and feelings as you express them within the group. This is one place where you do not have to be perfect in order to be loved and accepted—just be yourself. You may be pleasantly surprised when God uses this group experience to help you understand yourself better through the lives of others.
Give others space to share their stories
Sharing your story as you answer questions and participate within the group is important. In fact, it is so important that God created space within this group for you to be able to share openly and freely. It is also important for others to be able to share their stories with you. Try to be considerate of others’ needs to share—your intentional love, care, time, and active listening will encourage healing in others. One of the most powerful means of healing is through community.
Patiently wait on God for your healing
The healing process takes time. Learn to be gentle, patient, and loving with yourself as you participate in this Bible study and small group. God is capable of miraculously healing anyone, but, often, God chooses to heal over time. When you wait on God for your healing, amazing things can happen. You can get to know yourself better, and you can become more acquainted with God and his gracious and loving ways. These are two good reasons to continue to wait on God’s timing for your healing.
Suggested Questions for the Leader for Each Lesson
1. What would you most like to get out of this Bible study? (This is for lesson 1 only, to understand where people are on their journey of healing.)
2. How did the Learning God’s Truth section go for you? What did you learn? How do you need to grow? Which question might you like to share?
3. What were some important truths you learned?
4. Do you have any questions about the material studied?
5. How was the Experiencing God exercise for you? Share your thoughts and experiences.
6. Did God speak to your heart? What did God say to you? What may God want you to learn?
7. Was the Experiencing God exercise a freeing experience for you? Please share.
8. Were you able to practice reaching out to someone this week? If so, how did this go for you?
Close by praying for all members. Be open to God’s leading, and, if others are open, have them pray for one another.
May you enjoy the study as you work through painful life experiences. May you grow in the knowledge of God’s amazing love and acceptance. You are so worth the time and effort because you are uniquely created in the image of God!
Chosen in Love—Lesson 1
As we begin our study together, allow me to share a personal childhood story with you. When I was a small child, I owned a doll named Betty. Betty was special to me; she was my favorite doll. Betty was beautiful, with long, dark, thick hair, and wide brown eyes. I loved to spend time playing with Betty. In fact, I played with her so often that poor Betty started wearing out. Betty lost an arm, and then, eventually, one of her legs was missing, and at one point, I cut Betty’s hair all off. Poor Betty! To many, she was a terrible sight, but not to me. I loved her no matter what she looked like.
Unfortunately, my mother did not share the same sentiments. One morning when I awoke, I could not find Betty. I looked in my bed, under the covers, on the floor, and under the bed. I looked everywhere I could think of, but Betty was missing. I asked my mother where Betty was, and she said, “Betty is outside in the garage in the trash can where she belongs. I threw her away. She was all ragged and worn. You don’t want that old doll Betty anymore, do you?”
“You threw her away?” I cried. “That’s my doll!” Then the thought occurred to me that I could still rescue her before she ended up at the dump. Hastily, I slipped outside, pajamas and all, and rummaged through the trash cans until I spotted her head sticking out of one of the cans. “There you are, Betty,” I said. I rescued her out of the trash can, brushed the dirt off, and held her close to me. I felt relieved and pleased with Betty back in my arms.
In my Doctor of Ministry class in 2002, as we discussed body image, women’s self-esteem, and the impact that playing with a Barbie doll had on children’s development, I was reminded of Betty. Suddenly, I realized that Betty had far more meaning and significance in my life than I had ever imagined. The story of Betty was a divine call from God to help his beloved daughters, especially those who have been broken and wounded through the pain of abuse, to know and experience God’s unconditional love and acceptance.
I pray that you will come to experience God’s amazing unconditional love and acceptance like never before. Is this not what the Gospel message is all about?
As you consider this story, can you identify with it in any way? Write your thoughts on the lines below.
Perhaps you have felt rejected, broken, or like a throwaway.
Do you really believe that God loves and accepts you?
Do you believe that you have to be perfect and whole in order to be loved and acceptable to God?
Have you ever struggled with believing that God really loves you?
If you have, you are not alone. Many people struggle with believing this profound truth for various reasons.
Maybe, when you were a child, your parents were unable to nurture and accept you the way you