Thom Rock

Time, Twilight, and Eternity


Скачать книгу

unit of time known as sha’ah zmanit, a proportional hour that takes into account one’s location and the seasonal length of any day. Ultimately, saying there are only a certain amount of minutes in every hour is as deceptive as saying there is a calculable number of how many moments make a life.

      Uncommon: Prayer

      Something happens to time when it is routinely pierced by prayer. The earliest Christian monks knew this. The ancient Hebrews knew this. The ascetics and mystics of the Eastern traditions knew this. Which, for many of us, begs the question: why is it so darn difficult to incorporate routine prayer into our lives? Ironically, the answer we offer most often is time itself—or, more precisely, the lack thereof. We’re just too busy, there’s too much going on, and we have too many demands on our precious little time already. But if we’re honest with ourselves, it’s not only that we’re just too busy to pray; we’re also too occupied with what else might be going on. (We wouldn’t want to miss out on anything, after all.) And let’s face it, prayer isn’t always thrilling. We too often think, hope, or expect that we will hear trumpets and cymbals sound when we pray, or even hear God speaking personally to us. But more often than not prayer is remarkably uneventful. We may have as an iconic image a romantic notion of medieval monks with quills in hand tirelessly scribing sacred scrolls with exotic colored inks and elegantly gilded illuminations. But the three Rs of the monastery were never reading, writing, nor ‘rithmetic; they were regular, routine, and repeat.

      Like the daily motions of the earth, the everyday rising and setting of the sun.

      For the twelfth-century mystic Hildegard of Bingen, prayer meant breathing in and out the one constant breath of the universe. The twentieth-century French philosopher Simone Weil considered our absolute attention the same thing as prayer. Meister Eckhart said that if the only prayer we ever whispered was “thank-you,” that would be enough. Kierkegaard likened laughter to a form of prayer. Ignatius of Loyola taught that anything turned in the direction of God is prayer. Indeed, an entire library would be required to contain our various definitions of prayer over time.

      The simplest prayer I know is “Yes.” Another one: “Trust.”

      Or the two Greek words at the very root of all Christian prayer: Kyrie, eleison.

      “Lord, have mercy.”

      As basic and imperative as that sounds, common prayer is still all too uncommon. If anything it seems to be becoming ever rarer. For some it is, perhaps, the word itself that gets in the way: The word “prayer” can evoke both positive as well as negative associations depending on one’s experience of, and relationship to it. The same can be said of its alternatives, like mindfulness or meditation. Still, “prayer” seems most accurate at its roots; it comes from the Latin precari, meaning to ask earnestly. And in fact we more often than not tend to ask for something—a specific outcome ranging anywhere from good health and comfortable wealth to world peace—in our prayers. We naturally pray for the best outcome and relief from the alternative. And inevitably we never get all we really want. The result: prayer—not to mention God—can seem inconsistent and arbitrary at best.

      But what if the truest form of intercession isn’t praying to or for, but with? This can of course take the form of recitation, but there is also the Jewish notion of mitzvah, of “a good work.” We can “do” as well as “say” our prayers. Muslims practice ṣalāt, an Arabic word that is often interchanged with its closest English equivalent: “prayer.” But ṣalāt implies not only the stillness commonly associated with prayer but also supplication, a devotional integration of spiritual surrender with physical motion. “Pray without ceasing,” Saint Francis of Assisi is supposed to have said, “if necessary, use words.”

      Wondering why and knowing how are two very different postures, though. As children we naturally expressed our insatiable curiosity about the world and our place in it by constantly asking the seemingly simple, yet wonder-filled question: “Why?” Eventually—sadly—too many of us lose that holy curiosity and stop wondering altogether. Why are there stars in the sky? Why don’t we see them during the day? Why is the night dark? If the stars are always shining then why isn’t the night light? Always appearing to be about things we should all know, the innocent why’s children ask are more often than not profound and probing questions that reveal ever more complex subtleties and seldom have definitive answers. The more we consider the question, the more we realize we don’t have a clue what the answer is. So we fall back on the old standard: “Because.”

      This inevitably leads to the child’s second most favorite question: “Because why?”

      “Because that’s the way things are,” we say with as much authority as we can muster. “The night is dark because that’s what night is.”

      And, of course this might work once or twice, until the curious expanding little mind catches on. So, we transpose the why into the more answerable how and explain the science or physics of something. But that still hasn’t answered the question. We can always figure out how. It’s the why that always leaves us wondering. I can study and come to understand, for example, the fascinating science and optics of how twilight interacts with the rods and cones of our eyes. But that doesn’t come anywhere near answering what I think is the more interesting question of why the dawn or dusk stirs the soul or imagination so. That’s something else entirely.

      Truth is never singular.

      There are forces in the universe which we do not, and cannot understand, despite our endless inquiry—forces that are not diminishing but expanding. Forces that bind atom to atom across time and space; forces like gravity that bring us into each other’s orbit; forces that catch us when we fall and lift us up; forces that propel light through darkness faster than we can ever imagine. Some refer to the dynamic forces that