Abigail Carroll

Habitation of Wonder


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languages of the air.

      To enter the concert,

      the stirring,

      the singing,

      the way the bulrush enters

      its blooming,

      the way sky enters

      the glow of evening,

      the green-turning-flame

      of its song.

      The Calling

      And so it is, the lake is calling you,

      dropping in your ear the small consonants

      of its lapping. There is no resisting.

      It insists on shivering water into light.

      You have beheld this silver before.

      In dreams, it’s the radiance you wear.

      The jangle of shroud against mast:

      a language you have come to understand.

      It has let you in on its secret. So too

      has the dark slipping by of the cormorant.

      Soft, the verbiage of a passing

      kayak, the lisp of the paddle’s dip and rise,

      the narrow body’s thin blue glide.

      A word has perched on your tongue, but

      refuses to be formed, tastes like

      storm-rinsed sky, the wind-downed

      rhetoric of pines imitating the slow dance

      of waves. Acquainted with all manner of

      waiting, the dock grows patient

      with your sitting, your staring, your curious

      forward-leaning. Listen: water

      tapping, pulling at the hull, the metal siding

      on the plank-wood pier. It circles out

      from your dangling ankles, a shimmering

      map of echoes, farther, farther—one

      rippled articulation after another. The lake

      is a mirror, a question you cannot answer—

      yet one you choose to enter.

      Make Me River

      Make me river, cold

      with mountain, green

      with quiver, silver in

      the run and churn of

      winter leaving, valley

      waking, sheet moss

      breathing. Make me

      flash of mica, drift of

      foam. O Lord of flux,

      make these dry bones

      flow, teach me to spill,

      pool, glide, fall, tutor me

      to long for depth, seek

      downward paths, indwell

      the low. Oh teach me

      liturgy of keel, swirl,

      flume, the breaking into

      mist, the pull, the press,

      the song. Oh form me

      into blood of bedrock,

      quest of glacier, dream

      of sea, release me, set

      me free to course, surge,

      pour, sweep, issue, eddy,

      shower, plummet, roll.

      O Lord of flood, O Lord

      of spray, unstill my soul.

      The Way A Fish

      The way a fish

      moves through water,

      through light, the way light

      doubles the body

      of the fish, turns it

      into a mirror of itself,

      the mirror being

      the water’s invitation

      to see a bright pool

      of scales where

      once there was a fish,

      a school of silver coins,

      a great, green-glass

      chandelier dangling

      in the flow, each cut-glass

      drop sewn like sequins

      to the wind, the wind being

      the way the water moves

      around the coins,

      the coins being another

      way to see the fish, the way

      it moves through

      water, through light

      the way it doubles, becomes

      a silver mirror, the mirror

      being the fish disappearing

      into a thousand versions of itself.

      Learning To Pray

      When I say I have passed the afternoon

      watching loosestrife lean against the wind

      at the edge of the lake, what I mean is

      I have stepped into prayer, not unlike Peter

      stepping out of the boat, and it has held me,

      as prayer does, like a child holds a penny,

      or ferns hold beads of dew. When slippage

      occurs, as it is want to do, and I begin to sink

      through unraveling molecules of faith like

      a dream sinks back into dark when dawn

      dissolves the net of sleep, I am caught by a

      quiet grip, an open palm, the way air catches

      a parachute or a June buttercup catches light,

      and there is in that catching a new kind of

      drowning, not unpleasant, though it surprises

      at first. It’s like losing yourself to an embrace

      in which the more you are lost, the more

      surely you are found; it’s like the flood of sun

      on the map of your skin, into your cells

      and the spaces between your cells, sewing

      you into its warmth, which, you realize,

      is singing. How often have I stood at the edge

      of the lake gazing, wholly unsure what it means

      to pray but willing to step out, willing to go

      down, slip through the watery blue particles

      precisely to be caught, recovered, salvaged

      again and again, to know once more that hand!