D. S. Martin

Ampersand


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blossoms hang

      from the cursed Judas Tree

      IX — Jude

      How horrid to live with a tainted name

      to be so easily confused with one who sold your Lord

      Who could blame you Jude

      for going by Thaddaeus afterward?

      I’m with you too in wondering why

      Christ wouldn’t show himself to the world

      Is this why they say you went to Syria

      to Libya to Armenia to show him yourself?

      O patron saint of lost causes

      under either of your names

      when the iconographers paint you

      they show your Pentecostal flames

      O Courageous Heart he said he’d show

      himself to those who love him hiding

      behind parables siding with the dogs

      beneath the children’s table & so

      you sought to spread that love

      as much as you were able

      X — Thomas Didymus

      When Mary Magdalene said she’d seen

      the Lord it was strangely disappointing

      One of the worst women saved from the street

      to have been first I knew it must be true

      that’s just what he would do but then

      when I was the only one to fight fear

      & search for myself the others lagging behind

      it was like the soldier’s spear went right through

      me too when I returned to hear

      the others bragging (that was the worst)

      that I was the only one not to have been there

      not to have seen where his hands were pierced

      I went into denial I won’t believe I said

      Anything less than my fingers in his wounds

      won’t be enough My words sounded odd

      to my ears A week later I was among

      them when he appeared & called my bluff

      My Lord & my God Conviction rolled off my tongue

      XI — Simon Peter

      After they’d climbed the hilltop there came the switch

      The scene suddenly defied comprehension bright

      streams of light poured from every pore of the Lord’s being

      & glistened white from every transfigured stitch

      in his clothing obscuring all else The others

      awestruck knew enough to listen & watch

      but Peter mumbled something asinine wanting to set

      up little shrines for Christ & the two prophets

      His tongue often stumbled ahead He wouldn’t let

      the Lord wash his feet & then wanted to be washed

      head to foot He’d follow to the death he said

      but blurted denial to a little servant girl Yet

      he’d stepped over the gunwale into the wake

      of their storm-tossed ship he dove into the lake

      to reach Christ on the beach & put first into speech

      the foundation rock that would change the world

      XII — John the Beloved

      When my brother & I first left our father’s nets

      who could have predicted this index of where the Lord

      would lead? Twelve to eleven to an uncountable

      expanse of stars to Persia to Egypt to Rome

      to death by sword by stoning being sawn in two

      beheaded & crucified Andrew on an X

      cross & Peter upside down They each boldly told

      of what they’d seen as they died

      Domitian tried to silence me sent me alone to Patmos

      where I received a vision of the luminous Word

      aglow like pristine snow & pure gold

      encircled by seven lampstands It was no less

      dumbfounding than watching a girl who’d died

      being lifted to her feet no less astounding

      than having seen him aglow

      with Elijah & Moses on the high hillside

      Our understanding was incomplete

      We were so numb to wonder that through his deep

      agony in Gethsemane we actually fell asleep

      then waked in panic & scattered like sheep

      whose shepherd’s been struck just as he’d said

      we would As I stood beneath his dying

      he assigned me to tend to his crying mother

      whose battered heart ached

      Like thunder the earth quaked as noon imitated

      midnight & he became like any other dead man

      On the third day I was the one who outran

      Peter to the tomb up in Galilee I was the one

      who recognize him on the shore & I was among

      those who watched him rise to the skies

      to be seen no more This is why I was willing to die

      or grow to old age proclaiming the Son of Man

      The Camera Lies

      484 Waterloo Street, London, Ontario

      I had never thought of it as a lie let alone

      of us as conspirators It’s September of 1968

      & we’re posed on the porch for a photograph

      As eldest son standing straight & still at the centre

      of the cluster I wear a slender tie probably a clip-on

      & stare at the camera until distracted last second

      My kid brother squirms too young to pretend

      but I help preserve the monochromatic illusion

      standing on the steps of my great aunt’s grand house

      Portrait With Eyes Turned Aside

      I’ve seen you look into a store window

      the way I look into a book

      Like you I begin with what’s inside

      like you distracted

      when you find your image there

      adjusting an errant strand of hair

      Any word can form itself

      unbidden