G.I.F.T.D

All The Wrong Places


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      Man, this ho deranged. He started to text back and chump the bitch off, but instead, he hit her with something different.

       Boon: Yeah, but until then, lemme get my key tho’

      Boon was glad to have dreamed about CiCi, but damn, Mela could suck a watermelon through a water hose. He got up off the bed and grabbed his footlocker from under it. Now, finally, he’d go through the box.

      He dumped the box’s contents on his bed and sat the box on the floor. There were five, different Ziploc bags; one for each girlfriend past. He separated them in sequential order, starting with Mela’s duck-ass, and working his way backwards. He didn’t want to think about that slut right now, so he moved her pictures and memories to the side.

      The first picture was of Tatiyana “Taz” Lopes. She was by far the most beautiful, as well as the vainest of his exes. She was Puerto Rican and black, 5’3, 135 pounds, high yellow, and had green eyes. Boon was looking at a picture of him and her kissing at Mardi Gras 2011 in New Orleans. Tatiyana got her nickname, Taz, from being crazy and fighting a lot throughout middle and high school. Tatiyana left Boon, three months before graduation, to be with a star, NFL cornerback named Todd Cambridge. She told Boon, “When your money get as long as his, hit me up.” All I got was some pussy, Boon thought. He tossed her Ziploc aside.

      The next bag he came to had ultrasound pictures in it, and instantly made Boon irate. “This ho!” he gritted.

      The contents of that bag belonged to Zora “Zo” Tucker from Hartford, Connecticut. Zora was the only white girl Boon had dated exclusively, but she looked like Carmen Electra, and everybody wanted her. She had full lips and big, perky breasts. The crazy part was that she had a black girl’s ass. She and Boon spent a great deal of time together, but Boon played basketball and spent a great deal of time away from Chicago. Zora and Boon were expecting a son to be born in August of 2010. Donovan and Drakus talked Boon into getting a DNA test on the baby boy, because they truthfully didn’t like the idea of their brother being in a relationship with a white girl. When baby Daniel’s DNA test proved Boon was not the father, he left the hospital, disgusted, and never saw Zo again. Boon looked at his son’s ultrasound picture and anger flooded his face.

      Next up, was the bag he kept for the memories of “Gia”; Ms. Giovanni Frazier. Gia was from Raleigh, North Carolina. He met her at a frat party, during his freshman year at DePaul. His roommate’s girlfriend and Gia were roommates. She was timid and not used to being away from home. She liked Boon and his sense of humor. Boon liked her body, her tattoos, and that she would go all the way when you closed the door. She often went back to visit her family in North Carolina; and during one of those visits, she was on the phone with Boon when her ex-boyfriend, Shyne, came over.

      “Boon, I’ma call you back in a minute,” she said, but somehow didn’t hang up the phone. Boon stayed on the line and heard the whole, 24-minute, sex session they had. By the time she got back, Boon had sexed two of her sorority sisters and Gia transferred to UNC-Asheville the next semester.

      Ebony “Lil” Charles was the smallest of Boon’s exes. She was only 4’11, but was stacked. Big ass, big titties, and she could dance like no other. She was from Cabrini Green, just Northwest of Downtown Chicago. Boon rushed into the relationship with Lil, because the girlfriend he’d left wouldn’t have sex. Lil definitely put out; in fact, it was the reason Boon left her. He caught her at a party, getting a train run on her by at least six of the players on Simeon’s football team. Boon was the laughingstock of his senior class.

      That brought him to the last bag, reserved for “CiCi”, Boon’s favorite girl. Boon had tried to be her boyfriend since 7th grade and she had turned him down until 10th grade. In 10th and 11th grade, they were voted as Simeon High School’s “cutest couple”. They were prom King and Queen their junior year, and they both were scholars.

      Curelle was 5’7 and weighed about 170 pounds. She was dark-skinned and thick. All the guys were jealous of Boon because they wanted CiCi. She told Boon he would be her first, but not until graduation day. Boon didn’t make it; he broke her heart by breaking up with her to be with Lil, all because Lil would sex him when he wanted it. He and CiCi were still great friends, but she said she couldn’t trust him with her love anymore. “And now, every bitch I want, want every nigga but me,” Boon said aloud. Bunch of harlots.

       Relocated

      6 Months later

      Boon graduated law school and passed the bar with flying colors. It was the beginning of the summer and Boon had been doing well. He was doing a little dating, but nothing too serious. He had moved to a brand-new loft in South Loop. After careful consideration, he felt it was best. Johan kept blowing up his phone and Boon really wanted to put the beaters on him. When Boon packed, as he was preparing to move, he found that Mela stole his stash of cash he kept in his closet: $9000 that he kept in an old, Stacy Adams shoebox. He didn’t even bother to pursue the issue. “Good riddance to bad rubbish,” he said, as he unpacked in his new abode.

      Boon was out on a mission, after growing tired of unpacking his belongings. He had a date tonight with a girl named Shardae, whom he had met at a deli the same week he found his new home. Shardae and Boon had both wanted the last slice of key lime pie the deli had. Boon ordered it first, so by rule of the restaurant, it was his.

      “I mean, if you’re willing to let me take you on a date, you can have the pie and I’ll even pay for it,” Boon had told her. Almost as soon as he told her that, he realized it was a mawkish comment, but it was too late to take it back. Much to Boon’s surprise and liking, Shardae accepted.

      “I’m glad you didn’t come at me with the disrespectful stuff. That corny move just got you a date,” Shardae gushed, as she exchanged numbers with him.

      Boon was a little embarrassed, when she called his pickup line corny; but hell, he thought it was too. Shardae was almost a Stacy Dash look-a-like, but with more hips, bust, and ass. She was no taller than 5’4 and wore her hair in some honey blonde micro braids.

      Boon was looking for an outfit to wear tonight; he and Shardae were going to the Cubs game. “Shar”, as she went by, had never been to a professional sporting event and eagerly wanted to go. As he walked in Footlocker, he heard a female voice call his name from behind.

      “Daniel Watson? It can’t be!” the woman said.

      Boon froze in his tracks and turned to see whom it was that had called his name. It was none other than Taz. Boon frowned, as soon as he recognized her. She was gorgeous in her grey, Hermès, summer dress with the sandals and handbag to match. Just seeing her caused Boon’s loins to go crazy; however, he felt some type of way about how she had left him. Gold digger.

      “Tatiyana Lopes,” he said, dryly. “Surprised you know who the hell I am,” Boon stated.

      “Well, aren’t we bitter?” Taz poked fun at him. “The dick was great, Boon, you just couldn’t afford a bitch like me. I’m a few levels above your pay grade, or have you gotten yo’ cash right?” Taz retorted.

      “Bitch, fuck you. Apparently, yo’ scandalous-ass ain’t got yo’ mind right yet,” Boon snapped and walked into the shoe store.

      It had been months since a broad had remotely pissed Boon off, and the last time had almost proved fatal. He sometimes woke from dreams of killing Mela for fucking his supposed-to-be homeboy.

      “Can I help you find something, sir?” the teenaged salesperson asked Boon.

      “Yeah, if you can tell me what kinda drugs these hoes on that got them actin’ all cocky.” Boon was still a little miffed. The salesman only shrugged his shoulders. “Gimme these and these in a size ten and a half, li’l bruh,” Boon said, referring to the same pair of Kevin Durant’s in different color schemes.

      It was about 2:00 p.m. and Boon wasn’t set to meet Shardae until 7:00. Boon got into his Challenger, fired up his engine, turned on Pandora Radio from his phone,