that her experience in the “other world” would soon come to an end, as her body began to heal itself and it was time for her to return. In a way she wanted to go back, because after all she had seen, she felt there was so much she could do and say to the people there on Earth. In another sense, though, she felt totally at home here, and was overwhelmed with the total joy and love she experienced in that domain. She felt unrestricted in every sense, and totally free to express herself in whatever form she chose. There was no discord, strife, struggle, or any of the other sensations she commonly had felt in her earthly life. She had a sense of being totally supported, and a feeling of already having every possible thing that she could have ever wished for. It was just so harmonious and perfect. There was absolutely no feeling of judgment or disapproval of anything she had ever done, only an indescribable feeling of love and oneness with all of life. There was no separation from anything really. She still had a sense of herself, but at the same time, felt a part of everything and everyone, as if all were connected by this wonderful, loving, and accepting energy field that she struggled to articulate in her own mind. Carmella wondered if she would ever be able to communicate the richness and fullness of all she had experienced to any other person who could possibly understand. I certainly hope so, she thought as the nurse wheeled her into recovery. I certainly hope so!
*****
It was Monday morning at about 8:00 a.m. when Carmella realized that she was back in her body. The sun shining through the hospital window was reflecting into her eyes, causing her to squint and then open them for the first time since the accident. The room looked completely familiar to her because her “spiritual self” had been there for the past twenty-four hours, watching everything that was going on since she was transferred there from the neuro ICU. It felt very odd to be back in her old body again and back to her limited perceptual abilities. No longer could she be multiple places simultaneously. No longer could she feel what other people were feeling. The loving presence of the energy field that had surrounded her was still a vibrant memory, and if she tried hard enough, she still managed to feel its presence even now, although in a bit more limited fashion.
Several things about Carmella’s life would never be the same, however. She no longer had any fear of death or concern with the future. She also felt very comfortable letting that force of love—“God,” or whatever she would choose to call it—express itself through her. She realized that her “job” here on Earth was much easier than she had previously thought. She only had to let the energy flow through her and keep her own ego in check. All her previous notions of God were pretty much shattered, and she realized that they all were just human caricatures of a force far greater in magnitude. She no longer had any compunction to follow any particular creed or religion. Doubt and worry had melted away, leaving her with far more energy than she was accustomed to feeling. She felt more creative than ever before in her life, as if she had now tapped into a power that would allow her small earthly being to bear far greater fruit. Most of all, she felt connected, and no longer separate from anything or anyone. There was a love in her heart for all of creation, and a realization that everything flowed together into a magnificently orchestrated concert, irrespective of what limited human perceptions were sensing. In a strange way, she was glad to be back, as her life had taken on new meaning and significance. She had realized her own spiritual nature and true magnificence in a way that she never could have before. She wanted everyone to understand what life was like “on the other side” so that their own pilgrimages on this planet would be transformed as hers had been. As a nurse, she knew that her role would bring hope and healing into the lives of her patients. It was time to wake up!
Just as Carmella’s eyes were flickering open, Dr. Martin stopped by her room on his morning rounds. He was thrilled to notice her regaining consciousness and spoke quietly to her. “Welcome back, young lady. You had us pretty worried for the past several days! Do you know where you are or what happened to you?”
Carmella thought for a minute before she replied. She really didn’t want to let on that she had been watching the entire event for the past several days. “Ummm…well, the last thing I remember was looking down at my watch and then looking up to see that back end of an eighteen-wheeler right in my face!” she smiled. “I swerved to avoid hitting him square on, but I guess I hit him anyway.”
“Yes, you did a bang-up job on the right side of your head. We had to open your skull to relieve the pressure and evacuate the blood clots. Now you’ve got a nice titanium plate holding your skull together!”
“And thanks to you, I’ve come back to life again,” she grinned, reaching out to touch his hand. “I really appreciate all that you’ve done for me.” I think I’ll have a little fun with him, Carmella thought to herself, and added with a twinkle in her eye, “I’m really sorry about delaying your fishing trip—I know you had wanted to get out of the hospital as early as possible on Friday.”
“My fishing trip? How did you know about that?” Dr. Martin asked with a puzzled look on his face. Still trying to piece things together, he added, “You’ve been completely unconscious the entire time you’ve been here until now. I don’t see how you could have known about my trip!”
“You would be quite surprised at what I know,” she laughed, with that same mysterious twinkle in her eye. “I am very grateful, though. You saved my life! Hope you caught some nice fish too!”
Dr. Martin shook his head in disbelief. “Well, I’m certainly glad you’re back with us,” he conceded, as if he could think of nothing else to say. “I’ll have them send in some breakfast, and I’ll be back to check on you after my surgeries today.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Carmella smiled. “You gonna use that fancy drill of yours today? That thing is somethin’ else! Why, it goes through a skull faster than a knife through warm butter!” This is fun, she thought, as Dr. Martin’s jaw dropped about a foot.
“Now I KNOW you couldn’t have known about that,” he replied, still not able to find any rational explanation for Carmella’s observations.
“Maybe you do an’ maybe you don’t!” Carmella countered with that same mischievous grin. “You have a nice day now, Doctor, an’ please don’t forget my breakfast. I’m starvin’!”
That accident must have done something totally weird to her brain, Dr. Martin mumbled to himself as he stepped out of Carmella’s room, still shaking his head. My drill? How the hell could she have known about that? Not only was she unconscious from the accident, but she was under general anesthesia as well!
“Go figure that one out!” he said, audibly this time, to the nurse at the desk, who gave him a puzzled look. “Ms. Brown is awake and hungry,” he added quickly, not realizing he was thinking out loud. “Run some breakfast for her, will you? Thanks. I’ll be in surgery all day, but let me know if anything unusual develops with my patient,” he shouted over his shoulder as he stepped into the elevator. As the door shut, he thought, Anything MORE unusual, that is! How could she have known about my drill?...
chapter 14
Heartthrob, Chest Pain, and Gin’s Disdain
OHSU Telemetry Unit
November 2005
Gin was just walking out of the break room, where morning report had finally concluded. Her shift started at 6:45 a.m. with a report from the night shift, which usually took around half an hour or so. This particular morning, things had gone pretty quickly, as the preceding night had been rather uneventful, so she was glad to have a few extra minutes to organize her plan for the day. As she passed the nurses’ station for unit 2B, a cardiac telemetry unit, her thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing. Where’s the unit secretary? she thought to herself, but then realized she started at 7:00 a.m. and report this morning had lasted only ten minutes. Oh well, might as well get it myself, she mused as she picked up the phone. “2B, Virginia Morrison, RN, how may I help?”
The voice on the other end of the line didn’t sound nearly as relaxed. “Hey Gin, it’s Tom in the ER. Got a new admit for you. 43-year-old white male with chest discomfort. He came into the ER around 5:00 a.m—wife brought him in. Apparently, he woke