needed a jumper because the wind was still northerly and although there hadn’t been much more snow in the night it was cold and it cut you. It is wind that can kill you in the open, not cold, because wind chills and reduces temperature by convection so you need a windproof layer of clothing or a shelter to stop it.The best fabric is Gore-Tex, which is what Peppa’s Helly Hansen is made out of. Gore-Tex stops wind but is breathable so it allows moisture from the body to pass through it in one direction only and you don’t get a moisture build-up on the inside of your layers, which could freeze in very cold conditions and that would also kill you, eventually. Our fleeces were windproof too and I put on another sweatshirt over my T-shirt and checked shirt and then my fleece and Peppa had a purple lambswool jumper she put on under her fleece which creates layers to trap air and keeps you warmer. Soon I could make her a hat out of rabbit skin but I gave her my beanie and she already had gloves.
We went towards the burn, me with the airgun and Peppa brought the slingshot. I took the backpack with the pellets and belVitas and raisins and the map and compass and two waterproofs in case of precipitation and I had worked out a route that went along the top of the valley where the loch was and up and over, then skirted most of the moor round Magna Bra. It was four miles and would bring us back to our wood at the top. It was mostly along the edge of woods and bits of forestry planting and some bits were in the open on the moor. It was four miles and I thought it would take us all day because we were going to walk and not run. Also the first long bit along the valley was south facing so there would be less snow which had come in from the north. We were also going to stop and try to shoot birds if we could.
There was still stratus and still a north wind but it was less and more of a breeze. After we crossed the burn and went through the woods we found a deer path in the snow that led all along the valley top. It looked like there was a small herd of red deer and they might’ve been females and the path was recent and there were droppings and we just followed it. I kept scanning all around and listening and Peppa walked in front of me. If we saw anyone or heard a helicopter or a car or a ranger’s truck we were going to drop and get straight into the forest, so we kept close to it, just on our right. And the deer had done the same thing. They don’t like being too far away from cover.
Sparrowhawks fly low and fast along the ground and hunt in woods and they eat songbirds. Red Kites fly high and circle and sometimes they circle carrion, like Vultures in Africa, because that is mostly what they eat but they do hunt rabbits and voles and rats. Golden Eagles fly high too but they can see prey from almost two miles away and when they start to descend to make a kill they go almost as fast as a Peregrine Falcon which is the fastest living creature on planet Earth. They like to roost in high places like trees and rocky crags and sometimes on fence posts at the top of moors and in winter they eat mostly carrion, like Kites.
Most of the stuff I know, I know from Wikipedia and websites about things I am interested in, and also from YouTube videos and from TV. At school I was in a special unit for vulnerable learners where I could be online most of the day and I had to talk to Mrs Finlayson about my feelings.
I know a lot about survival, making fires and shelters, snaring food, making bird traps, filtering water, reading tracks and watching the weather. I also know a lot about British animals and most birds except sea birds.And fish and amphibians and reptiles. I know about trees and quite a lot of plants, especially if they are plants you can eat. I know the Latin names of all the native British trees. I also know about cooking and food hygiene and quite a lot about health and common ailments and alcoholism which is a disease. I know how to nick stuff and how to read timetables and how to set up email accounts which you need if you are buying stuff on Amazon with dodgy cards. I also know how to use a drill and fit locks in doors.
I can clean and hoover and make a healthy meal plan. I also know about some bits of history like the Indian Wars of the 1860s in the USA, the French Revolution, the Covenanters in the seventeenth century in Scotland and the Battle of Stalingrad in the winter of 1943. I am good at doing maths in my head and I know all the times tables so I can also divide and do fractions and percentages. I can shoot with an airgun and cast a fishing rod, but not a fly rod which uses a weighted line to get the fly out to the fish and I have never done that. I can read a map, do grid references, plot a course with a compass and work out elevations and gradients. I have killed one person, quite a lot of fish and, so far, two rabbits.
The hardest thing about killing Robert was not doing it or telling Peppa I was going to do it, it was telling Peppa what Robert had been doing to me and how he said he was going to start doing it to her. When I told her she said ‘Kill him Sal’ and I said ‘Aye.’
She was worried about Maw but I told her the plan to lock her in her room so she wouldn’t get the blame and then to run and survive. And she said she’d only do it if we went back and got Maw after a year so I said okay we would. She was pleased she wouldn’t have to go to school and she knew that if anyone found out about Robert we’d get took and split up. Two boys in her class were fostered and they were brothers and they had a sister who was fostered in Edinburgh and they only saw her in a family centre once a month. And she said fuck that.
I didn’t want to tell Peppa about what Robert had done since I was ten because she thought I was the best and cleverest and most brave person in the world and she thought I knew everything and I looked after her all the time and kept her safe. And if she knew about Robert I thought it would make me look soft and I should’ve bitten his cock off. When it started I was more amazed than scared and the way he spoke and the smell of drink and weed off him and his half closed eyes kept coming back into my head for days afterwards. So did what he said about telling.
Robert was skinny and he had a little fluffy beard on his chin and he smelled sour like vinegar or he smelled of drink. He had tattoos on both his forearms and a tattoo of a panther on his chest and roses and knives on his shoulder. He had veins that stood out on his arms and on the side of his head near his temple and his skin was grey and rough. Maw met him when she was lap dancing in a club in Glasgow when I was nine and Peppa was six and she had lost her job at Cutz for not coming in but she could still cut hair. And she said she wanted to be a dancer and she could dance and she had brown hair and big tits and she was pretty. Robert was a guy who dealt weed and pills to the girls at the club and he also got stolen cards and could sometimes get ones that got you cash from machines.
One morning there was four hundred pounds in twenties on the kitchen drainer and I took four of them for food and a new backpack for Peppa for school. That was the day Robert first stayed and Maw said ‘This is Robert Sal, he’s my new boyfriend.’ And I stare at people, not because I don’t like them or because I am rude but because I need to get a really good look at them so I know. I stared at Robert and he said ‘Geeza smile Sally’ and Maw went ‘Smile Sal’ and I smiled with my mouth but not my eyes and he said ‘That’s better Blondie. I knew your da’ and Maw said ‘He did aye Sal, he knew Jimmy’ and Robert said ‘Sally Broon. Sally Broon.’
I could’ve told him my name is not Sally it is Salmarina which means sea salt in Spanish and Maw thought it up when she was sixteen and she thought it sounded classy and like a kind of wine. Peppa’s real name is Paula but when she was wee Maw used to call her Wee Red Pepper because of her hair and then we all started calling her Peppa with an a. And then Maw said we were Salt-N-Pepa who are girl rappers from ages ago, because of my name and Peppa’s new name, and we watched some of their videos like Shake Your Thang and Push It. I think the words are about sex but Peppa used to love them and stick out her arse and shake it about like they did on the videos.
Peppa was called Paula after a saint and a pope because her da was a Catholic. Robert started calling her Black Peppa because she was half African which is racist and it used to make Peppa go mad at him. He always was racist to her and called her half-breed and half-a-darkie, and she called him a fucking twat.
We have both got Maw’s surname: Brown. Although my da’s surname was Mazur because his papa’s papa was Polish and he came to Scotland in the Second World War to build coastal defences. And Peppa’s surname should be Adichie if she took her dad’s name which she might one day. Maw’s first name is Claire but when she was dancing she said her name was Nicole and sometimes she told people her name was Jordan.
They