does not work. In the words of Bill Murray in the movie Stripes – “That’s a fact Jack.” Thomas Alva Edison was asked how it felt to have failed 10,000 times before inventing an electric lamp. Edison corrected the inquiry by saying he had not failed 10,000 times but he had found 10,000 ways not to invent the electric lamp.
“It is on our failures that we base a new and different and better success.”
Havelock Ellis
The third element - You gain a different perspective. Failure is in the eye of the beholder. My son, RT, played cornerback on his Pee Wee football team. One Saturday morning he was playing a team that ran the power sweep like the Old Cleveland Browns when Jim Brown was a star in the AFL. Sweep after sweep the team would come around the corner and RT would get wiped out. RT and his teammates were only able to stop the sweep a few times. I was standing on the sidelines trying to figure out how to console him for his failure to contain or slow down the power sweep. The game mercifully ended and I waited for RT to come off the field. I prepared a little pep talk about trying his best and better luck next time. When he got to me I asked him about the other team’s power sweep and what did he think? He looked at me and said, “I know why they were running the sweeps all day.” I was curious and asked him to explain. He said, “They ran the sweep because they were afraid to pass against me.” Wow what we learn out of the mouths of babes. I learned a lesson that day.
The fourth element – You have the opportunity to start again. There is the old adage - if at first you don’t succeed try, try again. The difference between failing and succeeding could be one more try. Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States of America embodied the fourth element.
Failed in business in1831
Defeated in Legislature in1832
Failed in business again in 1833
Defeated for Speaker in 1838
Defeated for election in 1840
Defeated for Congress in 1848
Defeated for Senate in 1855
Defeated for Vice President in 1856
Defeated for Senate in 1858
Elected President in 1860
How many times must you fail before you win? Only enough until you win.
6: Goals - GOing After Life’s Successes
Goals help you achieve what you desire. This is your success. Going after life’s success is striving toward your dreams, your passion and your purpose. I define going after life’s success with three elements:
a)Develop a clear goal
b)Acquire the resources to make it happen
c)Relentlessly focus resources on your goal
Your goals must reflect your values. When your goals and values are in sync your chances of living both are exponentially enhanced.
The first element of going after life’s success is a GREAT© goal. This is an acronym to guide you in setting goals: Gratifying, Reasonable, Explicit, Achievable, and Time-based.
Gratifying: Your goal should fulfill your desire. Its completion should bring satisfaction. This aspect of your goal creates the motivation and the drive to complete the tasks necessary to claim your prize. The reward is sweet and you are pleased. When I was a youngster the idea of making the school basketball team gave me goose bumps. When I finally made the team it was gratifying!!
Reasonable: Your goal should be within the bounds of your common sense. In other words, whatever makes sense to you. Remember, you will determine what your goals are and what they mean to you. In my case, making the basketball team made sense to me based on my experiences on the playground. I grew up and played well against guys who made my school’s basketball team. I figured when the time came for me to go out for the team I could make it also.
Explicit: This step is your first step. Your goal should be definite. You should be specific in what you want. Just like your values assessment, you need to know what your goal looks like. You should easily be able to recognize it when you achieve it. Next, write it down. Writing your goal down is commitment. How does it look on paper? How does it sound when you say it out loud? You can review it, revise it and hone it down until it is exactly what you want. My goal was to make the school team. The words “making the school team” were melodic to me.
Achievable: You goal can be accomplished by mental or physical effort. Your ability to think, learn or work hard will make your goal possible.
“Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.”
Vince Lombardi
I believed that if I ran enough and practiced my ball handling, free throws, and jump shooting that I could make the team. I knew as much about the game as my peers so I felt mentally prepared to play.
Time based: You goal should have an end date. If lifelong learning is your goal then you do not need an end date. However, the majority of goals should have a completion time. Time based also contains an element of measurement. You need both so you can gauge if you are progressing toward completion of your goal. The last cut sheet would be posted a week after tryouts. There was no doubt when my goal would be complete. I was still there going into the last week so I was progressing toward my goal.
The second element of going after life’s success is acquiring the resources to make it happen. What resources do you need to make your goal happen? You could seek help from others. You may determine you need specific machinery or materials. My resources for making the school basketball team were a basketball, a basketball court with rim, a pair of sneakers and the neighborhood guys to play against.
The third element of going after life’s success is to relentlessly focus resources on your goal. Your must focus your management of people, machinery and materials in a matter that completes your goal. So, I had a basketball, a dirt court with basketball rim, my sneakers and my boys to play against. I played every day after school and practiced and practiced and practiced to make the school team.
Now, as Paul Harvey would say, the rest of the story. The thought of making the team was gratifying. I was reasonable in thinking I could do what my peers had done. My goal was explicit – to make the school team. I was physically and mentally ready and I knew when it could happen.
Here’s what happened:
Eighth grade – did not make team.
Ninth grade – did not make team.
Tenth grade – finally made junior varsity. I did not play much.
Eleventh grade – made Junior varsity and started every game.
Twelfth grade – made varsity and started every game. I earned All City, District and Regional honors.
College – played four years. I earned All Conference three years, honorable mention All-America my senior year and was inducted in Case Western Reserve’s Basketball Hall of Fame.
Post College – I tried out for the Cleveland Cavaliers – did not make the team. But oh what a run! And all I wanted to do initially was make the junior high basketball team.
Everyone can reach their goals. Every can embrace going after life’s success.
7: Listen
We are Promoters and Explorers. We promote our ideas with emotion. We explore the world around us by listening for meaning and answers. Promotion and exploration are yin and yang on the coin of communication and learning. Promoters