It was unmistakably “Parsnips”, but there was something different about the man who stood before him. First of all, he was smiling, something that Ben could not recall ever having seen him do in all of his years at school. Secondly, this man looked more vibrant, healthy, and quite a bit smaller than when he was running Confederation High School in Ottawa. There was no mistaking those eyes, though. Ben would never forget the power they held over him that night on the catwalk. They were as intense as he remembered, but they no longer instilled fear or apprehension. Still, Ben could have walked right past this man without recognizing him if he hadn’t uttered those four famous words. Ben had seen so many people (including himself) start to decline physically as they aged. Even in high school, Parsons was already an obese pack-a-day smoker who showed no concern for his health. Ben was surprised, first of all, that he was still alive, and, secondly, that he actually looked younger than when he had last seen him a quarter of a century ago.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, Dayton,” said Parsons.
“Mr. Parsons,” said Ben. “You’re looking good.” Ben realized that he had never actually had a conversation with this man, and wasn’t sure what to say.
“Thanks. I feel like a million bucks. What a beautiful day. Hey, you don’t look too good, Dayton. Are you feeling OK?”
Ben had the uneasy feeling that Parsons, who had to be 25 years his senior, was probably in better health than he. The old vice-principal certainly appeared more vibrant, upbeat and happy.
“Me? Yeah, I’m all right. Just a bit under the weather. Are you still at Confederation?” Ben asked, realizing that it was a dumb question.
“Hell, no! I left there 12 years ago. Thirty years is long enough in one job. I wanted to make sure that I was able to enjoy at least a couple of years of retirement before the ‘big one’ hit.”
“The big one?” asked Ben, wondering why Parsons would have worried about an earthquake.
“Heart attack. I was lucky I even made it to retirement. I spent most of my life more concerned with my job—keeping guys like you in line—than about my own health. I smoked too much, ate too much, worked too hard, and didn’t exercise. I was a walking time bomb. I was looking at retirement at a relatively young age with a nice fat pension, but I was in such poor health that I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy any of it.”
“Well, I have to tell you, Mr. Parsons, you—”
“—call me Vic,” he interrupted. But don’t call me ‘Parsnips’. I know you guys used to call me that behind my back, but I have to tell you, I hate parsnips, even though they really are quite good for you.”
“Sure. OK. Well, I was just going to say that you look remarkably healthy. When you said that I looked like I’d seen a ghost, you weren’t too far off the mark. I was expecting to see someone else when I heard your voice. I mean, it’s you, but a new and improved you.”
“Well, I have to tell you Dayton, you don’t look new and improved.”
Some things hadn’t changed: Parsons never minced words. You might not like what he said, but you always knew that he said exactly what he was thinking.
“I’ve been under a lot of stress, I guess,” said Ben, fumbling and mincing his words. In truth, Ben was overwhelmed at the remarkable transformation of the man standing in front of him. More disturbing, though, was the realization that he was heading down the same slippery slope that Parsons had been on at that age. He had walked out of his doctor’s office fully aware that he was a prime candidate for ‘the big one’, as Parsons had called it, wondering what he would have to do to turn his life around. Now he was standing on the street talking to a man who might have some answers. Ben had never been a big believer in omens—he put those in the same category as horoscopes—but this was a sign that shouldn’t be ignored.
“Can I buy you a coffee?” asked Ben, gesturing towards a café on the other side of the street.
“I don’t drink coffee anymore, Dayton. There was a time when I couldn’t get through a day at school without a dozen cups of coffee. I thought it was the only way to cope with the stress of dealing with you and all your friends. Turns out it was actually increasing the stress on my systems. No, you can’t buy me a coffee, Dayton, but I’ll take a cup of herbal tea.”
“OK. Let’s go,” said Ben. He wondered what Max would say when he told him that he bought ‘Parsnips’ a cup of herbal tea.
*****
“It was fate, Dayton,” said Parsons as he sipped on his tea. “Fate is what made my car break down just a block away from one of the most unusual auto mechanics in the world. People think Wakefield is nothing but a sleepy little retirement community, but it’s home to someone who could literally change the world, if he wanted to. Look what he did for me.”
“I presume that he fixed your car. But, most auto mechanics have a knack for that type of thing. How could that change the world?” asked Ben, surprising himself with his thinly veiled sarcasm. Back in high school, that would likely have resulted in a detention.
“Not that part. That’s nothing, really. I mean, he’s the best mechanic I’ve ever seen, but I’m talking about his wellness philosophy.”
“Excuse me?” asked Ben. He wasn’t sure whether he should laugh at the thought of a small-town auto mechanic dispensing philosophical advice.
“Wellness, Dayton. Good health. I’m not surprised that you aren’t familiar with the concept. I know we didn’t teach it to you guys in high school. I’m pretty sure it isn’t in the curriculum even today. But it’s the most important thing we could ever teach a youngster.”
“What does an auto mechanic know about health? I thought that’s why we had doctors. Why is this guy fixing cars? And what did he do for you—you mentioned that he was somehow responsible for your being in good health. What’s that all about?” Ben stopped, realizing that he was firing questions at Parsons without letting him answer. If he hadn’t seen for himself the incredible transformation in this man, he would have gotten up and walked out of the café. He was willing at least to listen. For the price of a cup of tea, he might actually learn something that would help him deal with his own looming problems.
“I could sit here and talk to you about this auto mechanic’s 11 secrets to wellness, and you’d probably just think that I was starting to go senile. Listen, I was a teacher for thirty years, and now I’m retired. I really don’t feel like teaching again—especially you, Dayton. You were a real challenge.”
Ben smiled, remembering many of his encounters with Parsons. It was satisfying, in a way, to learn that the old VP considered him a challenge.
“I think you’d get more out of it if you heard it straight from the horse’s—or, in this case, mechanic’s—mouth. He has a way of explaining it that makes it seem so logical and easy to understand. If you heard it second-hand from me, you probably wouldn’t listen. I don’t want you to feel like you’re back in high school getting a lecture from me, old Parsnips. You didn’t like to listen to me much then, anyway.”
“I wasn’t that bad, was I, Vic?”
“Well, let me put it this way: you weren’t the worst of the bunch. Why don’t you come with me on the weekend? It’s time for my monthly visit, and I’m sure Daniel would love to meet you. He’s probably getting tired of talking to me all the time.”
“Your monthly visit? Does your car break down that often? What are you driving—a Lada?”
“Very funny. Now I’m really starting to remember what it was like having you in my school. Actually, my car never breaks down. Why? Because Daniel maintains it on a regular basis. That way, no major problems