you study the material in this book, and prepare to teach your teen, try to keep in mind that everyone learns best by doing. It’s an approach based firmly on principles of human psychology and physiology. The mind and body can adapt to many conditions and activities; it’s a survival mechanism. The key to successful adaptation is repeated exposure.
Driving, learned properly, is a process that becomes automatic, allowing the mind to relax without sacrificing attention, but the only way it can be learned properly is by repetition. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t spend time talking about what to do; it’s just that for some people there may be a temptation to overdo it.
One of the things I discovered during my brief years as a teacher was that certain methods can get in the way of the learning process. For example, many people have a tendency to teach by asking open-ended questions or posing “fill in the blank” situations:
“What should you never do if you’re approaching the crest of a hill?”
Or, “The most important thing to do after you start the engine is ______.”
Or, they simply spend too much time lecturing about proper technique while sitting still.
Try to avoid these methods, because they really aren’t effective. For one thing, they tend to create tension between you and your teen driver. People are naturally put on edge by someone lecturing to them. In your own experience, haven’t you felt uneasy being on the receiving end of such behavior?
Instead, briefly and in a very straightforward way, tell your teen exactly what you want him or her to know and explain the reason for it. Ask once in a while if he or she understands everything you’ve discussed so far; otherwise, keep things moving. Let the teen perform the lessons.
As you proceed, try to include as much real-time instruction as possible. Calmly and matter-of-factly comment on the performance as it happens. Also—and this is very important—act as your teen’s co-pilot. Keep your own attention well ahead—and behind—on the road. There will be many situations and hazards your youngster will not be able to anticipate until he or she is more experienced:
—developing congestion ahead, for example;
—vehicles that could emerge from blind entranceways or parking spaces;
—certain impatient drivers whom you know will be lane-weaving around you;
—and potholes, because most young drivers seem particularly oblivious to potholes. Teach your teen to avoid them or encounter them as slowly as possible.
There won’t be a shortage of road hazards, so you must serve double duty as instructor and co-pilot. You’ll find the co-pilot role very valuable; it’s the best way to impart knowledge, judgment and experience. By narrating road conditions and pointing out potential hazards, you’ll help your teen develop and strengthen his or her awareness.
If something isn’t being done correctly, say so, as soon as you notice it, but do it gently. Mistakes are part of the process, so there’s no need to become emotional. You have to expect them; be calm and review what happened immediately.
Speaking of which, as I mentioned earlier, it’s a good idea to spend a little time at the end of each session reviewing everything that was covered and anything unexpected that happened. Do it while everything remains fresh in both of your minds. Remember: Brief/Perform/Debrief. If your teen is experiencing a particular or persistent problem, note it in the lesson log for future reference.
Regarding the lessons, I designed them to increase the level of complexity gradually. Repeat each step enough so the teen driver recognizes the proper procedures and begins making his or her own corrections. It is important to stick with each step until the teen can perform all of its components well and consistently.
If not, it’s a risk to move on to a more complicated situation.
Remember to be just as quick to praise good performance as you are in pointing out mistakes. Be encouraging. It’s a way to build a young driver’s confidence and keep a strong bond between you.
If you are old enough to have a child of driving age, you have amassed your own body of experience on the road; try to make use of it whenever you can. If you disagree with one of my recommendations, replace it with your own. Or, present both sides and explain why you think your way is better.
I am certain the methods described in this book will provide a very solid basic level of skills for your teen, but they are by no means the only ways to do things. Everybody’s experience is different; you have valuable knowledge of your own. Use it. This process should not be about the book teaching your child. The book is a starting place. The process should be about you teaching your child.
The Best Place to Start
Okay, the preliminaries are over. Your teen has acquired a learner’s permit; it’s time to let the student take control of the vehicle.
Where should you start?
The best place is a big, unoccupied parking lot. There are plenty of them around:
—an office building after hours
—a shopping mall early in the morning
—your local place of worship any weekday
—your high school parking lot
A high school lot could be doubly useful, if it contains painted lanes and pylons for driving instruction. Look around; you’ll find a suitable place. Try to find one that has several rows of spaces, so you can move along repeating and continuous patterns.
Empty parking lots are ideal because they offer plenty of space as well as defined areas; they are very forgiving of errors. The one I chose for my girls was in a nearby neighborhood park. It was perfect: two paved areas split by a grassy median and connected at both ends. It even had speed bumps, which also can be useful. Most important, although the lot was relatively small, it was almost always empty during weekdays after school. Find an empty parking lot, and you’ll be ready to begin the instruction.
THE FIRST DAY
Drive to your designated practice lot and pull into a parking space. Try to use a space with either a concrete stop or a curb at the end, so there is a visual reference. Put the gearshift in “park” (or neutral, if a manual transmission) and engage the parking brake. Turn the engine off. Switch seats, then...
Stop for just a moment and look at your child. Accept that he or she is not a child anymore. You both are about to begin a new relationship.
Before you start the vehicle again, your teen needs to learn what must eventually become an important habit:
The Pre-Drive Checklist
You should go over this list every time you begin a lesson, until the teen can perform all the actions without prompting.
—Fasten the seatbelt. If the vehicle has an automatic shoulder belt, adjust the lap belt as well. Make sure you are belted also.
—Adjust the seat. It should allow the driver’s foot to rest comfortably on the gas pedal without stretching, but it needs to be far enough away so the foot can be moved quickly from the gas to the brake—again, without stretching.
It’s important for the driver to be at least 10 inches away from the wheel if the vehicle is equipped with an airbag.
If the seat has other adjustments, such as height, make sure it is elevated enough to allow good visibility over the steering wheel and all around. A common mistake among many drivers is to keep the seat too low.
If the seat back can be adjusted, make sure it isn’t tilted backward too much. That can cause strain to the neck and arm muscles over time.
—Adjust the mirrors. All of the mirrors should be properly