Joseph C Lincoln

The Essential Joseph C Lincoln Collection


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all with Cousin Percy.

      Cousin Percy, however, appeared decidedly conversational. His face was a trifle flushed and he smiled more than seemed necessary.

      "Well," he observed, "this is an unexpected pleasure. Didn't expect to find anyone up at this hour."

      Gertrude curtly remarked that it was not late.

      "I didn't mean up, I meant in. Did I say 'up'? Most extraordinary. I thought you and Mrs. Dott were playing the political game this evening. Expected to find you out and old--the respected captain, I mean--in the arms of--what's his name?--Morpheus. That's all right, though; that's all right. So much the better. We can talk--you and I."

      "I don't feel like talking. You must excuse me."

      "What? Don't feel like talking? Cruel! Why not? It isn't late; you said so yourself."

      "I know but--really, you must excuse me."

      She was moving toward the door, but again he stepped in her way.

      "Now, Gertie," he said. Then he broke into a laugh. "Called you Gertie, didn't I?" he said. "Beg pardon. Quite unintentional. It slipped out before I thought. But you don't mind, do you? It's a pretty name. Just a little bit less formal than Gertrude, eh? Don't you think so--Gertie?"

      Gertrude hesitated. She was humiliated and angry, but she did not wish a scene. Her parents might hear and her mother must on no account be disturbed.

      "Perhaps it is," she answered.

      "Then you don't mind?"

      "No. Now, Percy, you must excuse me. Goodnight!"

      "Wait! Wait! Gertie, I have something to say to you. Been wanting to say it for a long time, but haven't had the opportunity. You have kept out of my way. Ha! ha! you know you have. Perhaps you guessed I wanted to say it. Was that it? Ha! ha! was it now? Confess; was it?"

      Gertrude did not answer. She moved toward the door. Mr. Hungerford laughingly blocked the passage.

      "No, no!" he cried. "No, no! Mustn't run away. I am going to say it, and you must hear me. Come, don't be cross."

      "Mr. Hungerford, will you stand aside? I can not talk with you to-night, or listen. I am going to my room."

      The tone in which this was uttered should have been a warning, but Cousin Percy was in no condition to recognize warnings, or to heed them if he had. His smile grew more tender and his tone more intimate.

      "Not yet," he smiled; "not just yet. I can't permit it. Gertie, I--"

      "If you don't stand aside I shall call my father."

      "What? Call the old gentleman? No, you don't mean it. Of course you don't. You wouldn't be so unreasonable. Come, come! we're friends at least. We understand each other, don't we?"

      "I understand YOU, thoroughly."

      "Of course you do," with a triumphant leer. "And you know what I am going to say. Ah ha! I was sure you did. And you've confessed. Gertie, my dearest girl, I--What! Going? Not until you pay toll. I'm keeper of the gate and you must pay before you pass, you know. If you won't listen you must pay. Ha! ha!"

      He held out his hands. Gertrude shrank back. She was not afraid of him, but she did fear a scene. She had threatened to call her father, but she could not do that. If she did her mother would be frightened. She moved away, to the other side of the library table.

      Cousin Percy interpreted her retreat as a sign of surrender. He followed her, laughing.

      "Come!" he insisted. "I knew you didn't mean it. Come, my dear! Just one. I--"

      He tripped over the captain's favorite footstool and fell to his knees. With a sudden movement Gertrude jerked the cord of the electrolier on the table. The lights went out. She dodged around the table, through the doorway, into the hall, and up the stairs. Mr. Hungerford, pawing in the darkness at the offending footstool, swore. Then he laughed.

      "Good!" he exclaimed. "Very good, but not good enough. You can't escape that way. I shall find you. Where are you hiding? Eh! Ah, there you are!"

      He had scrambled to his feet and hurried to the doorway. There were the sounds of footsteps and the rustle of skirts at the other end of the hall.

      "There you are!" he cried. "I've caught you. Now you must pay--twice."

      He put his arm about a feminine waist and imprinted a kiss upon a feminine cheek. Then his own cheek received a slap which made his head ring, and the hall echoed with a shrill scream.

      "Labe!" shrieked Azuba. "Oh, Labe! Help! Come quick!"

      Mr. Ginn came up the back stairs three steps at a time.

      "What is it? What's the matter, Zuby?" he demanded.

      "A man! A man! He--he--"

      "Where is he? What's he doin'?"

      "He--there he is. Hear him? There!"

      Mr. Hungerford, paralyzed with astonishment and dizzy from the slap, had moved, injudiciously. Laban heard him.

      "Hey?" he bellowed. "Ah! I've got him. Stand still, dum you! I've got him, Zuby. Who is he? What did he do?"

      "I--I don't know who he is," panted the frightened housekeeper. "He--he kissed me."

      "KISSED you! YOU? Why--"

      "It's a mistake!" cried Cousin Percy, frantically struggling in the grasp of his captor. "I--Stop! Stop! Help! Help!"

      The hall became a pandemonium of thumps, struggles, cries for help, and pleas for mercy. Azuba added her shrieks to the tumult. From above Captain Dan shouted and Serena screamed. Then the chandelier blazed. Gertrude had pressed the button at the top of the stairs.

      "Let him be!" ordered the young lady, rushing to the rescue. "Don't! don't! Azuba, stop him!"

      "Labe! stop! stop!" pleaded the housekeeper. "You--My soul! it's Mr. Hungerford."

      It was what there was left of Mr. Hungerford. Mr. Ginn extended the disheveled, whimpering remnant at arm's length and regarded it.

      "Humph!" he grunted. "You know him, do you?"

      "Know him! Of course I do. But--but I must say--"

      Captain Dan came tearing down the stairs, his bathrobe fluttering and a slipper missing. In one hand he held a pair of scissors, the only offensive weapon which he had found available at the moment.

      "What in blazes?" he demanded. "Burglars, is it?"

      Gertrude answered. "No, Daddy," she said gravely. "It's no one but Cousin Percy. And--and Mr. Ginn. Why, Mr. Ginn, is--is it you?"

      Laban nodded. "It's me, all right," he observed grimly. "Who the devil is this? That's what I want to know."

      Daniel turned to the captive.

      "Why--why, Percy!" he gasped. "What--what's happened to you? Let go of him, Labe Ginn! Percy Hungerford, what--what's all this?"

      Mr. Hungerford, suddenly freed from the grasp upon his torn shirt collar, staggered against the wall.

      "It's--it's a mistake," he panted. "I--I--this--this blackguard assaulted me. I--I--"

      "Assaulted you! I should say he had. Labe Ginn, what did you assault him for?"

      Mr. Ginn glared at his victim.

      "Blackguard, am I?" he growled. "Humph! Well, if he starts to callin' me names, I'll--"

      "Belay! Answer me! What have you been doin'