The Red House Mystery and Other Novels. A. A. Milne

twelve months everything was to go to the hospitals. (_Remembering his smock and whiskers with a start._) And here du be the last day, zo it be, and t' Squoire's daughter, her ain't found.

      ~Willyum~ (_puffing at a new and empty clay pipe_). Zure-lie. (Jarge, _a trifle jealous of_ Willyum's _gag, pulls out a similar pipe, but smokes it with the bowl upside down to show his independence_.) T' Squire's darter (Jarge _frowns_)--her bain't (Jarge _wishes he had thought of "bain't"_)--her bain't found. (_There is a dramatic pause, only broken by the prompter._) Her ud be little Rachel's age now, bor?

      ~Jarge~ (_reflectively_). Ay, ay. A main queer lass little Rachel du be. Her bain't like one of us.

      ~Willyum~. Her do be that fond of zoap and water. (_Laughter._)

      ~Jarge~ (_leaving nothing to chance_). Happen she might be a real grand lady by birth, bor.

      _Enter_ Rachel, _beautifully dressed in the sort of costume in which one would go to a fancy-dress ball as a village maiden_.

      ~Rachel~ (_in the most expensive accent_). Now, Uncle George (_shaking a finger at him_), didn't you promise me you'd go straight home? It would serve you right if I never tied your tie for you again. (_She smiles brightly at him._)

      ~Jarge~ (_slapping his thigh in ecstasy_). Eh, lass! yer du keep us old uns in order. (_He bursts into a falsetto chuckle, loses the note, blushes and buries his head in his mug._)

      ~Willyum~ (_rising_). Us best be gettin' down along, Jarge, a rackun.

      ~Jarge.~ Ay, bor, time us chaps was moving. Don't 'e be long, lass. (_Exeunt, limping heavily._)

      ~Rachel~ (_sitting down on the log_). Dear old men! How I love them all in this village! I have known it all my life. How strange it is that I have never had a father or mother. Sometimes I seem to remember a life different to this--a life in fine houses and spacious parks, among beautifully dressed people (_which is surprising seeing that she was only three weeks old at the time; but the audience must be given a hint of the plot_), and then it all fades away again. (_She looks fixedly into space._)

      _Enter_ Hugh Fitzhugh, _Squire._