was touched beyond words. I’m a fairly sentimental person to begin with but what touched me wasn’t his praise (although I appreciated it). What really got to me was his ability to distill in ten neat phrases so many major elements of what I had been preaching for so many years. Like the Yonkers resident who stood up unsolicited to thank my office for plowing the snow, this colleague’s thoughtful words let me know I had done some good.
The best managers are leaders and the best leaders are teachers, gifted folks who give something of themselves back to their colleagues. When you are authentic in your relationships with yourself and others, and you give from your life experience, a lesson, a story, a gesture, an empathic ear, a kind word, an honest criticism, sympathy, support, appropriate discipline, you have given from your soul.
My colleague’s ten elements illustrate the qualities of a true leader.
How Do Leaders Behave?
Leaders have a wonderful combination of strength and compassion in their personalities. That’s the walk softly and carry the right-sized stick element. Picture General Eisenhower and President Lincoln, leaders in times of crisis – neither one known for the loudest speeches or the flashiest behavior. Think of the graceful economy of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address and Eisenhower addressing the troops before D-Day. Listen more, talk less. Their physical appearances would be labeled less than movie star handsome. Both are remembered as incredibly strong and determined individuals whose words and actions made them giants.
Always lead by example. Both are also remembered for their immense compassion, demonstrated in adverse times, and their courage in the face of tremendous injustice. That’s the fairness trumps everything, respect everyone and ethical choices elements.
I don’t know whether leaders are born or made. I don’t think it matters. We all have the capacity to show leadership in a given circumstance. As managers you are called on to lead every workday. As my colleague points out, near the top of the list of leadership qualities is Listening. His phrase “Listen more, talk less” is on point.
There is a certain calm, an even-ness and focus that surround a leader. When the situation seems to be deteriorating fast, the leader is the one with the clear head, steady voice and sure hand. Think of the best teachers you’ve had – they could bring order to a classroom full of students and hold your attention for 45 minutes without breaking a sweat. Listen to the novelist Shelby Foote describe this quality in General U. S. Grant:
“He had what they call ‘four-o’clock-in-the-morning courage.’ You could wake him up at four o’clock in the morning and tell him they had just turned his (troops’) right flank and he would be as cool as a cucumber. He had an ability to concentrate.”
For almost five years I worked for a CEO who was a Swiss national. I’ll call him Franz. He had come to the U.S. more than 20 years ago to seek his freedom and fortune in the freight business. When I met him he was at the top of his game, having assumed the second spot in the senior management team of the world’s largest air freight company. He reported to, at least on paper, Tomas the CEO who had hired me and to whom I reported.
Franz and I got to know each other as we worked together in the integration of his previous company with the company for which we now both worked. He told me that when he began managing his previous company, based in Washington State, his first friend in the business was the head of human resources, so he had an appreciation of what I did. Despite the fact he had a strong relationship with his human resources leader, at the beginning of the integration I was chosen to head human resources for the integrated company. Throughout the integration process Franz respected and cooperated with my human resources team, calling on us for special projects and advice.
Three months into the integration, Franz came into my office and closed the door. It was 8:30 AM. I was sitting at my desk and he stood in front of it.
“Tony, Tomas resigned this morning to go work for our competitor.”
I found the words difficult to stomach. We had just gotten off the ground as a new company. So much uncertainty had been resolved and we were poised to move forward and grow. Tomas meant so much to the company, having become CEO after many years. Most of my colleagues had worked with him for a decade or more and all of us knew him as a charismatic leader.
My first response was to pick up a pen from my desk and hurl it across the room.
Calmly, Franz picked up the pen, placed it back on my desk and said, “Okay. You’re the head of HR. I’m coming to you first. A lot of people are going to be unsettled by this news. The company is now my responsibility and I need your help.” His voice was even. If my emotional reaction affected him in any way, it seemed as if he understood my sorrow, disappointment and anger. I understood what Tomas did, I was angry at him, I wished him well and I wanted my company to move ahead despite him, all at the same time. And Franz understood that as well. He probably didn’t agree with all of my sentiments but he understood them in me.
Together Franz and I, with the General Counsel, worked to smooth the transition of Tomas’ departure and Franz’s assumption of the CEO position. Franz showed his leadership qualities in many ways. There was no midnight massacre of Tomas’ close friends and relatives who occupied many key company positions. In fact, Franz approached all of them and asked them to stay because they were important to the company’s continued success. Some stayed and many left to join Tomas at our competitor. Franz didn’t have to say I was his HR head. He showed it by relying on my advice and the work of my team. Four months later, at the company’s holiday party Franz asked me to sit at his table. His wife, whom I had not met previously, took my hand and said, “I’m happy to meet you. Franz was so happy when he learned you were staying as his HR head.” Her words meant more to me than a raise.
Nine months pass to September 11, 2001. After an early morning doctor’s appointment and listening to a CD in my car, I arrived at my office and was told by the receptionist that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center accidentally. I was unnerved for two reasons; I hate to fly and for almost eight years I was in the Trade Center every work day.
I ran up the stairs past my office and into the boardroom where I knew the TV would be on. A handful of my colleagues, looking bewildered and frightened, watched as a second plane hit the Towers. Our perception of the situation changed immediately from accident to attack. Everyone, including me, began crying. Someone was doing this to us. Who do I know in the Towers? Our head of benefits commuted from New Jersey through the Towers train station. Had anyone heard from him? No. Are any of our people in the air today? Don’t know offhand.
I gathered everyone in the boardroom as the terror played out on the screen in front of me and announced that anyone who wanted to go home could leave on administrative absence. Anyone who wanted to stay and work or watch the events on TV should stay. Anyone who needed to talk to someone should come to my office. I didn’t know what else to do.
Franz flew all the time. Three out of five workdays he was in the air or about to board a plane. I didn’t know where he was. I tried his cellphone number. No answer. I called his assistant. He’s out of the office. I tried to think of what else to do. I couldn’t come up with anything other than go back to the boardroom, watch the news and try to be a comfort for anyone in need.
As I watched the news, I remembered Franz telling me he once flew into Beirut during the civil war to collect an air freight debt. He got the check and flew back out the same day. I asked him if he was scared. “I felt better once the flight out took off!”
I couldn’t figure out if he was fearless, crazy, determined or a bit of all three. But I knew he had four o’clock in the morning courage. What he did next confirmed it for me.
On September 13, 2001, Franz’s management team met in the boardroom where so many of us had cried days before. In one of the most elegant and impressive displays of high level teamwork in the midst of a crisis I had ever seen, with Franz’s guidance we coordinated efforts to support and reassure our employees, inform and assist our clients, and assess the damage 9/11 had done to our business. We also discussed ways our company could aid our country during this