Sexual Addiction
Messages from the Masters
Compiled by
Carol Juergensen Sheets, LCSW, CSAT, PCC,
host of www.blogtalkradio.com/SexhelpwithCaroltheCoach
Copyright © 2016 by Carol Juergensen Sheets
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be used or reproduced, stored or entered into a retrieval system, transmitted, photocopied, recorded or otherwise reproduced in any form by any mechanical or electronic means, without the prior written permission by Carol Juergensen Sheets, except for brief quotations used in articles and reviews.
Editor’s note: This ebook shares the wisdom from the most prolific sexual addiction experts in the world talking about sexual addiction, shame, trauma, trauma reenactment, partner betrayal, partner pain, love addiction, and other issues that contribute to compulsive sexual acting out.
All proceeds are to benefit the American Foundation for Addiction Research (AFAR).
Carol Juergensen Sheets
365 Boston Post Road, #311
Sudbury, MA 01776
www.blogtalkradio.com/SexhelpwithCaroltheCoach
Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
Sexual Addiction: Messages from the Masters/ Carol Juergensen Sheets. —1st ed.
ISBN 978-1-4566-2690-7
Editor’s note: These chapters have been taken from transcripts from the Sex Help with Carol the Coach Internet radio show. I have taken the liberty to edit these narratives so they make more sense in the written form. Each show has a date attached to them so that you can go to www.blogtalkradio.com/sexhelpwithcarolthecoach and listen to the show. You can also download them at iTunes.
PREFACE
Preface
I created this ebook because sexual addiction is not yet recognized in the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). The DSM-5 is essentially a classification and diagnostic tool for health care providers. The APA’s reasoning? We need more research to prove that it is an addiction. There is an organization out there that is doing just that.
The American Foundation for Addiction Research (AFAR) was created by Dr. Patrick Carnes. It exemplifies personal, social, and professional responsibilities; globally encompassing all disciplines and addictions through a collective partnership between science, clinicians, public policy, and the recovery community. AFAR continues to be a catalyst of social change, promoting dignity, integrity, and service to others. I have long wanted to contribute to AFAR in a meaningful way and I knew my listeners “know” that sex addiction is real and they would want to help AFAR too. I decided to use the transcripts from my Carol the Coach radio show to create a book where all the proceeds could benefit AFAR. I have cherished bringing you the experts in this field through my radio show and now I hope you will enjoy reading their theories and experiences.
For our first edition of this ebook, I have selected a group of experts I consider “masters” who have contributed significantly to the field and made a positive difference in the lives of so many people affected by sexual addiction. I hope each chapter will share information that will help you better understand this disorder.
I want you to walk away from this book with a better sense of yourself and what tools and resources are out there to support you and your recovery. If you are a partner of a sex addict, please know that there is specialized help for you too.
Every time I interview a guest, I learn so much and feel so blessed to share it with my listeners. Now we can pay it forward by helping the field get the recognition it deserves by legitimizing a very real problem that many still believe is “a lack of moral character.”
I want to thank each “master” who agreed to do the show and then allowed us to use the transcript to support AFAR. I want to also thank Corrine Casanova, the senior editor for Gentle Path Press, for her insight and wisdom. Her compassion and helpfulness was instrumental in the writing of this book. I also want to thank Kim Cook, who has transcribed every show and was my “go-to girl” in getting this book formatted. She has encouraged me every step of the way!
And most important, I want to thank the thousands of listeners who open these podcasts religiously and send me emails letting me know that I have been instrumental in changing their lives. And that is exactly why I wanted to do this show and use it to create this ebook. I want your lives to be better and I want you all to find hope, strength, and recovery so that you can create the life you deserve!
Carol the Coach
CHAPTER 1
Sex Addiction: Suffering into Meaning
“Sex Help with Carol the Coach”
April 20, 2015
Dr. Patrick Carnes
Carol: Tonight, I am thrilled to be talking with the guru, the founder, the master of sexual addiction. This is a man who has put his whole life into sexual addiction recovery. You’ve heard me talk about him before. There’s no doubt about it that he has influenced me. I took the training to become a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT) through his institute. Dr. Patrick Carnes is a nationally known speaker and writes on sex addiction and recovery issues. He’s the founder of the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, and he’s the founder of Gentle Path Press, probably the most phenomenal publishing company regarding sexual addiction. The folks there are stellar, and I just so appreciate being associated with this group of people.
Tonight we are going to be talking about how sexual addiction has changed in the last thirty to forty years and what he’s most excited about in terms of treatment, recovery, brain science, and all the things that are contributing to healthy recovery for sex addicts and their partners. We are also going to be talking about the need for more research to prove to others that sexual addiction is a real disorder/addiction and needs to be in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, which is the “bible” of mental health conditions.
You are going to be learning about the American Foundation of Addiction Research (AFAR), which is a group of people devoted to providing research on sexual addiction. All the proceeds from this book are going to AFAR because this research is so very important. It is important in substantiating the work we’re doing, important in helping sex addicts and their partners get healthy, and important in helping other people understand that this is a real disorder.
I was telling my group tonight as we were ending, “Now guys, if you’re not doing anything, you might just listen to my interview with Dr. Patrick Carnes.” I was so excited, and they laughed because, I’m telling you,