wasn’t even a garden, only three cacti in pots on a small terrace, overlooking rooftops.
Taking myself off to the rose garden in New Farm Park for a personal date had shown me exactly what I had been missing and perhaps yearning for, for years.
Once Davis moved out, I had found myself rattling around our home with only the ghost of my marriage for company. I felt like a stranger in my own life, picking objects up and placing them down as if I had never seen them before. As I looked around, my old life seemed to rebuke me in the form of artwork, mirrors, pieces of furniture that although we had selected together, had never reflected who I was.
Once I made the decision two weeks ago, to offer the warehouse back to Davis, I had wanted to be out of there as quickly as possible.
I had emailed Davis and told him I would be gone by the weekend. In return, came a reply with a single cross on it. How ironic! Was he sending me a kiss or crossing me out? Funny, but I didn’t even have any qualms about Felicity Best living in my home. She could have it.
Deliberately changing my thought process, I broke the silence. ‘I’ve decided on a new car.’
‘What?’ Marty glanced across at me, eyebrows raised.
I gave him a look. ‘I can no longer drive around in a car that has Address blazoned across the back. I want it gone.’
‘Then change the number plates. Surely that would be easier.’
‘Nope,’ I said quite smugly. ‘I’ve decided on one of those little Fiat 500 Abarths.’
Marty spat out a laugh. ‘You’re kidding! A Fiat Bambino?’
‘The grown up version. It’s quite a little pocket rocket. It’s amazing how much you can personally customise them. I’ve chosen a red …’
Marty laughed interrupting me, ‘You’ll look like Speedy Gonzales!’
I ignored him. ‘… and they let me pick the seat coverings, and whether I wanted a black steering wheel or a white one. I chose the black with red stitching. And I’ve selected a white speed stripe as a trim! For a tiny car, it’s terribly stylish. The alloy wheels are trimmed with a touch of red, and the side mirrors are black. You should see them, they look like cute little ears sticking out.’ The thought of it made me smile, however I caught Marty shaking his head, a look of humour on his face.
‘Look Marty, it’s a bit of fun. I feel I deserve that after everything I’ve gone through. After all, it will only be me driving around in it. Before…’ I swallowed, ‘before everything happened we were looking at upgrading to a family car, a BMW four wheel drive… or perhaps it was me that was looking.’ I rested my chin on my hand, glancing out the window. And then I turned back. ‘Anyway I don’t know what I’ll be doing, so if I want to travel, it’s not too big to keep in someone’s garage. It’ll be zippy, a bit of fun for a change. And it’s so cute… you’ll see.’ Pleased with myself, I folded my arms across my chest. ‘The Abarth is to a Fiat, like the AMG is to a Mercedes.’
‘Then get yourself the Mercedes AMG coupe. You can afford it. It doesn’t have ears, it has wings.’
Good naturedly, I slapped his arm. ‘Stop it!’ He was such a teaser.
He ducked. ‘Never pick me up in it, okay? We’ll look like Noddy and Big Ears.’
I let out a peel of laughter. ‘I am not even going to ask you which one I am… but come on admit it… it’s a cheeky little car.’
‘I’ll have to see it to believe it,’ he told me. I could see he enjoyed our good natured bantering, something we had both missed.
We were quiet for a few seconds and then I glanced over at him. ‘You know Marty… I’m not sure I’ve ever had the chance to thank you.’
He shot me a puzzled look. ‘What for?’
‘I think you know.’ I exhaled. ‘It’s why you left Address, isn’t it?’
He nodded although didn’t look at me. His voice was soft. ‘Peach what could I do?’ He shook his head. ‘Look we both knew Davis was ruthless, but at what cost? This time he had gone too far. I asked him to either stop or at least be honest with you. That’s why we argued. He told me to butt out. And he banked on the fact that I would never tell you. He was bloody right.’ He paused. ‘You know I hated that bitch the minute she came on board.’
I laughed, enjoying hearing him voice those words. ‘Marty…’
‘Well think about it. If she hadn’t come, we’d all still be together. And Davis might be a pain the butt, but he would have been our pain in the butt.’
‘Believe me, I have been thinking about it and I have come to the realisation that that’s not entirely true. I wish it was so I could blame it all on her. But… the truth is… if it wasn’t her, it would have been someone else, or something else.’
His tone carried a cynical edge. ‘You’re charitable.’
‘No… just finally coming to my senses. Come on, we both knew he was the most selfish person that walked this earth. But,’ I shrugged, ‘call me crazy, I loved him.’
‘We both did. He was like a brother to me. We had some phenomenal times. I hate to admit it, but there are times I still miss him. Still miss the good side of him…’
‘Hmm … I’m not going to go that far. I’m not that charitable today. But Marty, thank you for standing up for me.’
He sighed. ‘I should have told you the truth that day when you came to see me after Davis and I had the bust up. I couldn’t look you in the eye. I knew how much you loved him and I couldn’t be the one to tell you. I hoped that he’d come to his senses and maybe you’d never have to know.’
‘Well that wouldn’t have been exactly right either. But I don’t blame you.’ After I had found out about Davis’s affair, I was angry with Marty as well, because I wondered how long he had been covering for Davis. Numerous times Marty had phoned, but I hadn’t taken his calls.
In the last few months, I had come to the conclusion that Marty had been in a no win situation. The firm stand he had taken had cost him dearly, personally and professionally.
The car slowed to a halt outside Bea’s house. Leaning across, I offered Marty my cheek.
‘You know I love you babe,’ he said.
‘I know and I am always going to love you too sweetie. I hated not talking to you.’
‘Yeah it was the pits.’ And the look he gave me told me what an ordeal he too had been through.
I flashed him my mournful look. ‘I’m sorry.’
Fondly, he pulled one of my perfectly blow dried curls. ‘What are you going to do about that house?’
I climbed out of the car. ‘God only knows? Leave it with me. You’ll be the first to know. I need some thinking time.’ Strangely enough, even after all of these months, I still wasn’t out of the habit of wanting to share every new event with Davis. However, that certainly was not about to happen.
*
‘It’s me,’ I called, slinging my laptop bag onto Bea’s French oak kitchen table. I needed to check my emails. Davis and I were doing our property settlement. Anyone who thinks the divorce is difficult is kidding themself. That’s a piece of paper, over in a day. It’s the property settlement that was a pain in the butt, to put it mildly.
Filling the air was the smell of an artist at work. For me it was the smell of years gone by, the smell of our childhood home; a mix of acrylic paints, turpentine, canvases and artist paraphernalia. It was the smell of Bea.
Flicking the switch on the kettle, I called out to her in her downstairs studio, ‘I’m making tea.’
She was painting