right across his face, in amongst the Indian picnic, the remnants of dahl around his mouth, the tandoori lamb container now licked scrupulously clean, a new crystal wine glass on its side. All that remained of our dinner was a few pieces of well licked, but obviously not liked, onion in the bowl that had held the leftover fish boona, a dish full of spices, garlic, and ginger, slathered in a thick onion sauce.
I groaned. ‘Will it make him sick?’ I looked between the three men for an answer.
Through his laughing, Steve shrugged. ‘I’m not sure, but I sure as heck would not want to be around him tomorrow. For that matter, Thomas we’re out of here now.’ And then all three men began to laugh once again and Wilbur took it as his cue to bound down the steps and off into the darkness.
I must have looked worried, because Marty attempted to reassure me. ‘He’s probably gone to eat some grass…’
‘What on earth for?’ I interrupted.
‘It will help him to throw up.’
‘Oh no…’ I put a hand to my chest. ‘I should have cleaned it up immediately. I didn’t even think of him. ‘
‘Come on, I’ll help you clean up and then we’ll check on him.’ Marty began to carry dishes inside.
‘You guys go,’ I shooed Steve and Thomas.
Steve kissed the side of my cheek, taking both of my hands. ‘Peachy… take care lovey, we’ll speak soon. Let me know when you want to start the PR for this joint. I think you’re onto a winner. Got to get this tired boy home or he’ll miss his beauty sleep.’
Thomas bent to kiss me. ‘Get your sexy arse in to the salon soon. I’m going to have to keep an eye on you now that you’re living off the land.’
I gave him a flat measured look. ‘Thom I’m two kilometres from the city centre. I’m hardly going to turn into Granny Clampett.’
He began to laugh. ‘Perhaps not Granny, but Elly May more than likely.’ And then he lent in closer and whispered. ‘We’re doing up that list Miss.’ He looked down the hallway towards the kitchen and then gave me a wink. I slapped him on the shoulder.
I could hear the two of them laughing as they headed down the driveway. Bending to pick up the new white damask tablecloth, I frowned at the red curry footprints courtesy of Wilbur. And then I glanced around into the darkness and wondered where the poor dog had taken himself off to. I guessed it was time I became friendly with the local vet.
Thomas took the tail-comb from Carmen. ‘I’ll finish Peach off thanks babe.’ He swept the hair on the crown of my head forward and held up a section. ‘So,’ he said peering over my shoulder, ‘what’s happening with that list?’
Waving the blank piece of paper, I eyed him in the mirror. ‘Nothing! I’m not ready for a list.’
‘Oh yes you are sweetie. Now be a good girl and write. Another coffee will help you out.’ Waving his hand at one of the young assistants, he indicated my empty cup. Vigorously, he began back combing a section of my hair, briefly glancing at me in the mirror. ‘My one-thirty has just cancelled, so I’ve got all the time in the world and you’re not leaving until that list is done.’
‘Thomas please don’t, I’m not in the mood.’ I was having a flat day. It happened like that sometimes. Emerald Green had said it was normal. Two steps forward, one back.
‘Think about it like this.’ He paused. ‘It’s a shopping list.’ He waved a hand at my indignant face. ‘Don’t look at me like that. If you needed an evening gown, you’d hardly come home with a pair denim shorts, now would you? I mean the shorts might be a bit cheeky and fun for a while, but they’re not suitable for a formal occasion. Same thing! I mean how are you going to know, if you don’t plan for it?’
I grimaced. He pulled my hair.
‘Ow,’ I yelled, grabbing at my locks.
‘Down girl, you’re scaring my clients.’
I flashed my eyes in frustration at him.
Thomas took no notice. ‘Let’s start with tall, dark and handsome. Although, I can see you with a blonde.’
I couldn’t keep the acerbic tone out of my voice. ‘Well gee, I’ve already had tall, blonde and handsome and look where that got me.’
‘Pfft.’ He pretended to think. ‘Perhaps it’s someone we already know?’ Cocking his head, he not so subtly eyed me in the mirror.
I ignored him.
That didn’t deter him. ‘Successful, hardworking, manly, nice… I mean it could be someone right under your nose… let’s say… I don’t know… Marty perhaps?’
‘No, it definitely could not be Marty.’ I spun around in the chair. ‘Look Thomas, he is a friend. Let me spell it out to you f-r-i-e-n-d. Get it, friend. What’s wrong with you? Simply because he is single and I am single is not enough. Let it go.’
Unfazed, Thomas spun the chair around so I was facing the mirror once again. ‘It’s just that back in the early days we always wondered which one you’d choose.’ He smoothed the crown of my head.
‘It was never a choice between the two of them. I honestly was in love with Davis.’ Frustrated beyond belief, I wondered why we were even having this conversation.
‘Mmmm,’ he said, pursing his lips in distaste. ‘Come on… tell Uncle Thomas what you want then.’
I exhaled heavily, suddenly exhausted by this ridiculous conversation. Attempting to simplify it, I said, ‘I want someone who likes dogs. No… not likes dogs, loves them. Is that alright with you?’
‘Mmmm. Good start. And?’
I rolled my eyes. ‘And… and must have integrity,’ I said, my exasperation with him building.
‘Good, write that down.’
‘Right,’ I huffed and scribbled across the paper. Eyebrows raised, I glanced at him in the mirror. ‘Happy?’
‘Yes, keep writing. You have to be clear about it. Make sure you put male. The last bloody thing you want is finding a female with all the qualities you’re looking for. We’ve got enough homos in the family already honey.’ He didn’t miss the look on my face. ‘Okay, okay, give me more information.’
I shook my head. ‘God, I don’t know… someone who is secure enough in their own skin, not to constantly have to ring their own bell. Humble… that’s the word!’ I was completely frustrated now, and not only with Thomas. ‘And someone who wants to have a family and thinks that it is a priority.’ I wrote family man. ‘And truly, there was nothing wrong with him being such a hard worker… I have a bit of that in me as well… but for God’s sake there has to be a balance.’ Hastily I scribbled the word balance.
‘And,’ I raised my voice slightly, ‘not so bloody selfish.’ I spat out selfish with utter distaste. In large letters, I scrawled selfless. ‘And someone who can be the man in the relationship.’ My voice rose. ‘I mean, stuff this equality shit, I want to be the woman. Is that too much to ask?’ My hand slapped at the glass bench in front of me. ‘If I need time off to fall pregnant or give birth, I don’t want to feel like I’m letting the team down. I’m meant to be a kick arse boss, loving wife, gourmet chef, look phenomenal all the time, fall pregnant in my non-existent spare time, obviously all by myself, exercise my pelvic floor muscles and run a home.’
I sat fuming for a few moments. Thomas was silent. I glanced around noting the rather busy salon had also fallen quiet, and a few heads had turned my way.
Thomas shrugged. ‘Phew babe, you needed to get that one off your chest.’ A cloud of hairspray assailed