him to sit and the talk began. When he was asked to play, Ruben was ready. He was now on display, just as he had been many times before. He knew rock and roll would be a bad idea and had already decided what to play. This was music he had made up and kept in his head, intricate guitar work involving chimes and double picking while playing melody and background at the same time, something he’d learned listening to Chet Atkins. Ruben was confident – this was his world and he was very comfortable in it.
He positioned the guitar, checked the tuning, took a deep breath, and began playing. The music was played with no pick, only his thumb and fingers. The sustaining notes of the fine old guitar blended together to make a wonderful, haunting sound. As the song progressed, it became more and more intricate, rising and falling, changing directions yet keeping whole and harmonious. The song lasted about four minutes, finally transitioning from the flamingo flavor to an almost bluegrass sound, different yet congruous. When he finished, there was complete silence.
Esther took his arm and whispered, “That was absolutely fantastic.”
Dr. Rosenberg sat looking at Ruben. “Where did you learn to play like that, and who wrote that wonderful piece?”
“I’ve never had any formal lessons. And that song is mine. I made it up.”
“Incredible,” said Mrs. Rosenberg. “It’s obvious that you understand theory. If you can’t read music, how did you write that?”
“Basically, I combine chord progressions and scales until they sound good.”
“The intricacy of that piece is impressive under any circumstances,” she said. “With training, you could be a world class musician.”
“That’s what my mother keeps telling me. Sometimes she gets mad and tells me I’m wasting my talent. I just don’t see it. I love playing rock.”
Ruben always remembered that day as one of the best in his life. It was a day for playing music by Bach, Beethoven, and young Barlow. Ruben never considered himself in the same universe as the great composers, but the Rosenbergs liked his music, and he truly enjoyed listening to them play. Esther was wonderful. The notes were clean and clear and cascading from the piano like water from a tall mountain. He stood behind her and marveled as her perfect hands alternated between black and white to make all the musical colors of the rainbow.
When it was time to leave, they asked when they might meet his mother. Ruben replied that he had to play in Pismo Beach the next Friday and Saturday, but he would love to take everyone out to dinner the following Sunday. They replied that would be too expensive for a young man, and he assured them he made plenty of money. They were taken aback to hear how much. If they ever noticed the hickey on his neck, they were too polite to mention it.
When Ruben left it was dark. Ben walked him to the door and shook his hand and even smiled a little. Esther walked him out to his car. The night seemed a little cold so Esther had a sweater wrapped around her. A street light cast a soft glow and, with that thick black hair encasing those perfect porcelain features, she seemed like a great artist’s conception of the perfect woman.
“Esther, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. What in the world are you doing with me?”
“That will be the first and last time you will ever say that. Do you understand me?”
“Are you scolding me?”
“Yes. I think you’re wonderful, Ruben.”
“Esther…”
She touched his lips. “Don’t speak,” she said. “I want to tell you something.” She dropped her hand but continued to look into his eyes. “You underestimate yourself, Ruben Barlow. I wasn’t at that dance by accident. I’ve seen you play before. The first time I saw you, I wanted to meet you but didn’t know how. I asked someone I saw talking to you and he told me who you were. I wasn’t at all surprised to hear you were Jewish. I’ve gone to three of your dances since then, hoping to meet you, and found out I had to get in line. You wouldn’t believe how girls talk about the Mustangs in the ladies bathroom. The first time I heard that talk, I walked out of there looking like a beet I was so embarrassed. Each time I went, I tried to get up the courage to talk to you. Last night, I resolved to introduce myself. I thought that you would consider me just another girl but I was going to try anyway. I’ve built you up a great deal in my mind.”
“Whoa,” he said. “Talk about pressure.”
She smiled. “When you tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around, and really saw you for the first time, I was very glad. I see right through you, Ruben, and I like what I see.”
The next Sunday, he took his mother and the Rosenbergs to the best restaurant in Fresno. After meeting Mrs. Barlow, the Rosenbergs, even Ben, had no reservations about their daughter spending time with Ruben. They went to movies, ate hamburgers, went to parks, anything they felt like doing. She took him to museums and classical concerts. He took her to shoot pool at Moe’s Pool Hall in Hanford and to Lake Millerton to watch the Gypsies.
She sometimes wondered why he didn’t try to make their relationship more physical and even asked him about it. Without hesitation, he answered, “Because you are one of the great miracles of this world. And to bring something like that in before marriage would be the worst kind of blasphemy. Even if you asked me to, I wouldn’t do it. We’ll wait until we’re married.”
He then told her about the episode with Georgia and how he had vowed never to put himself in that situation again. “It was a mistake,” he said. “Now that I know what it feels like, I can’t help but think about it. But that will not happen with us until we are married.”
Esther was angry about Georgia. She tried to reconcile it with the fact that it happened before she met him, and what other seventeen-year-old boy would have been able to stop like that? But she was still angry.
Esther even met Georgia once at a dance. Ruben introduced them and Esther was cordial but actually felt hatred toward her. Georgia was with someone in his mid-twenties and both had obviously been drinking. She was a very beautiful girl but not Ruben’s type. Esther thought she was far too showy and dressed too provocatively. She was incensed when Georgia threw her arms around Ruben’s neck and kissed his cheek. Ruben broke away quickly and looked apologetically at Esther. Try as she might, she couldn’t help but imagine every detail of Ruben’s encounter. Whenever she thought about it, she became livid and it was all she could do not to heap reprimands upon Ruben. Finally, she couldn’t help herself. He was taking her home after eating dinner at his house when she turned to him and said, “What possessed you to go with that tramp?”
He looked at her. “Who?”
“That Georgia person.”
He understood. “Oh, her.” He pulled over and said, “It was a huge mistake and I’m sorry. I’m also sorry I told you.”
That shocked Esther. She reached over and turned off the key. She guided his lips to hers and kissed him. “No,” she said, “don’t say that. You should tell me everything. I’m sorry I got so upset. It’s just that I love you and the thought of you with another girl….well…it drives me insane.”
“I know,” he said. He took her face in his hands. “I am so, so sorry.”
She thought about Georgia again and was angry all over. “I don’t like her one bit, and all of a sudden I wish I didn’t know about her. I hate what happened between you. It’s almost like you were with a…a…prostitute!”
Ruben knew why she was angry but there was nothing he could do about it. In fact, her unwillingness to forget it made him angry. With a raised voice, he said, “What else can I say? I didn’t even know you then. If you want me to do that to you, I will. OK? Is that what you want?”
Esther felt very foolish and very hurt at the same time. But she was also mad. “You’re being a beast,” she said, “a real beast!” Tears came to her eyes and he was immediately sorry. But when she scooted all the over to the passenger door, he was totally subdued.