I punched in three nines with trembling fingers.
“Alas Mr Lightfoot, you will find such modern and may I say invasive communications ineffectual.”
I stared in horror at the blank screen. “Shitotage! What the hell you done to my phone?”
The man’s eyes like molten pools of tar rose slowly from the cup and locked with mine. “I will forgive your outburst of appalling, but I believe uncharacteristic manners Mr Lightfoot. Indeed, am even prepared to overlook such base and unfounded accusations on the premise you are obviously suffering a degree of mental anguish.”
“ANGUISH! YOU’RE IN MY GOD-DAM HOME!”
A contradictory index finger rose slowly from his cup. “An understandable, but nevertheless incorrect assumption Mr Lightfoot. Perhaps if you’d indulge me and take a quick peak out of the window.”
“The window! What the hell for?”
The man sighed frustratingly; “Because it will no doubt enlighten you as to the true nature of our circumstances.”
Glancing at the window I froze in stunned wonderment. Outside, the familiar street had miraculously been replaced by a vast universe of galaxies and stars glittering coldly in the infinite vacuum of space.
“I believe it was the eminent psychoanalyst Freud who once remarked; ‘Dreams are often most profound when they seem most crazy.’”
Wrenching my eyes from the cosmic vista, I stared incredulously at the debonair gentleman. “You’re telling me I’m dreaming? All this…. Is an illusion?”
The man nodded slowly before raising another contradictory finger. “Though illusions are not necessarily delusions Mr Lightfoot. While you sleep you’re subconscious has been diligently sorting through the veritable myriad of conundrums thrown up by recent events. Quite logically the cerebral process has finally led you to the most expedient resolution; seeking the one person capable of providing the answers you seek.”
Throwing off the quilt, I shrugged on my dressing gown and strode to the window. “But this can’t be a dream! I can smell the coffee and the wood smoke; feel the heat of the fire for Gods sake!”
“None of which are uncommon to the sensory realm of the subconscious Mr Lightfoot. Indeed, the veil between the waking and dream worlds can be a scant and sometimes imperceptible one.”
Shaking my head in disbelief, I turned and gazed at the man who flashed me an enigmatic smile before adding: “Though I must admit to our connection being a little less transitory than most. You see Mr Lightfoot, you possess a gift; and though certainly not unique, it is without doubt impressive.”
“Gift? What sort of gift?”
“Well, without dwelling on the metaphysical condition of which twenty-first century science knows little; you are what the ancient Sumerians called an Enlil”.
“A what?”
“Translated it means; ‘Lord of the Air’. A poetic title describing individuals possessing varying degrees of what Frederick W.H Myers termed telepathy.”
“Who?”
“A forward thinking, but much maligned Nineteenth Century classical scholar.”
“You’re seriously telling me I’m ensconced in a dream! A dream in which our minds are telepathically linked?”
“A vague, but I suppose adequate description of our circumstances Mr Lightfoot. Indeed a most fortuitous one, enabling us to evade the persistent attentions of the Yamin Elohiym.”
“The Yamin who?”
“From the Hebrew; ‘The Right Hand of God’. Those who shadow your every move.”
“You mean those Priests? Shittavicar! You know them?”
“Indeed I do Mr Lightfoot. Our mutual animosity reaches back rather a long time.”
“How long?”
“Millennia Mr Lightfoot. The Yamin Elohiym are an ancient order; a secret Priesthood who’s unbroken patriarchal line stretches back to the time Elyon first chose Noah to inherit the earth.”
“Elyon?”
“The God of the Old Testament; though rest assured he most certainly is not God!”
“This is truly surreal ganja! You’re telling me God is not God?”
“Indeed Mr Lightfoot; both Elyon and I are Elohim. Those the Book of Genesis call ‘Sons of God’; immortal creatures responsible for creating both the Nephilim and Civilised Man.”
“Who the hell are the Nephilim?”
“The men of old, the mighty men of renown; first Kings and Emperors of Civilised Man. Those cryptically mentioned in both the Books of Genesis and Numbers.”
“I thought the Book of Genesis told of Man’s creation by God?”
“Indeed it does Mr Lightfoot; but alas, it is a much edited and frankly blasphemous account. A fraudulent creation story written by the Yamin Elohiym to support Elyon’s claim to be God.”
“But why?”
“To bequeath Elyon divinity over Civilized Man. Create him an all powerful deity to be feared, worshipped, but more importantly; slavishly followed in all matters pertaining to his moral code.”
“What moral code?”
“His Commandments; rules defining the strict ethical principals to which Civilised Man must adhere. Conventions the Yamin Elohiym are sworn to uphold as part of a sacred duty bestowed upon them by Elyon before he departed.”
“WHOA! You’re telling me God’s left the building?”
“No, Mr Lightfoot; I am telling you Elyon has left the building. After choosing the line of Seth in the man Noah to inherit the earth, Elyon created the Hebrew Religion containing his commandments. However, he wisely recognised his religion would ultimately fracture along fault lines of what he perceived would be false Prophets and Messiahs; blasphemers who would later sow confusion in the hearts of men by diluting and defiling the essence of his commandments. Consequently, the Yamin Elohiym fulfil their covenant with Elyon by ensuring any such offshoots of the Abrahamic faith retain as much of his original dogma as possible.”
“And how’d they manage that?”
“Anonymity Mr Lightfoot. They are the men who lie in the shadows, holding invisible reigns of power in both religion and supposedly secular society. Indeed, have even been Popes, Chief Rabbis and Caliphs; referring the Abrahamic faiths relentlessly back to Elyon’s commandments. Ultimately the reason both Muslim and Christian faiths oddly retain the Old Testament within their Cannon of scriptures.”
“Oddly?”
“Do you not think it a little strange the genocidal God of the Old Testament sits beside the gentle teachings of the Nazarene?
“The Nazarene? You’re talking about Jesus, right?”
“No, Mr Lightfoot; the name Jesus, is a German mis-transliteration compounded by an earlier Greek mis-transliteration. An all too