around the bar and paid no attention to Walter or Celia.
Celia was anxious for an iced coffee and distrusted the waitress would ever make it to their table. She was uneasy talking to Walter. If she wasn’t asking him questions, no one was talking. The silence was annoying.
“Are you Ramona’s older or younger brother?”
“Why don’t you try to guess that one. Boop!” He again punched his fist in the air.
“Oh no!” She waved her hand back and forth and shook her head in the same direction. “That’s a lose-lose topic, and quite frankly, at this exact moment I’m very sorry that I asked the question.” She studied his chin and then Ramona’s. Are they the same size? Ramona’s chin seems larger, but maybe it’s because the rest of her face is smaller. That chin-accentuating haircut doesn’t help. Celia was bored and distracted.
“I’ll let you off the hook. I’m Ramona’s older brother. I’m the oldest at thirty-eight. We have another brother, Stan, who’s thirty-four and then there’s our little Ramona baby at twenty-nine. Boop!” He reached over to his sister and rubbed the top of her head for a few seconds and, as expected, punched his fist into the air.
The waitress arrived and took their order. Celia ordered an iced coffee while Ramona and Walter each ordered a Long Island Iced Tea. After they ordered, Walter took it upon himself to repeat the order back to the waitress.
“So. That’s an iced coffee here.” He nodded his head toward Celia. “And two Long Island Ice Teas here and here.” He pointed to Ramona and then to himself. “Boop! Boop! Boop!” The first boop was synchronized with an air punch toward Celia, his second toward Ramona, and the last one at himself.
Celia watched his fist move in the air. What the fuck is this booping thing?
Celia’s attention diverted from the painfully mundane conversation to the boops and air-punching fist. She counted the boops as Walter spoke to see whether he punched his fist in the air after every boop. For the most part, there was a punch for every boop. By eight o’clock, she had lost count of the boops but had concluded there were more boops than punches. The boop count became unbalanced when he emphatically finished one sentence with a “boopity, boop, boop, boop.”
She fidgeted in her chair. Celia wanted a good reason to escape and was aware that finishing the mystery novel on her coffee table would not do, at least if that was the reason she verbalized to the siblings. She ordered a second drink and waited another twenty minutes. “I better get going. It’s a long commute home and I need to get up early. Thank you for the invitation. It’s nice to meet you, Walter.” She lied.
By the time she arrived home, she was wired from the caffeine. She picked up her book from the kitchen table and walked into the living room where she plopped herself onto her couch. Boop that. She propped her feet on the coffee table. I should have stayed home in the first place. She finished her book and then flipped through ridiculous sitcoms. Strained conversation with strangers was not her idea of a good time out. Another wasted Friday evening.
Timmy’s
Celia walked into her kitchen and picked up her phone and listened to her voicemail.
“Hey, we’re going down to the beach for ice cream. We’ll swing by at six o’clock. Be ready if you want to come with us.” Kate’s voice sang through the message.
Celia gladly abandoned a healthy dinner to join Kate and Tom for a visit to Timmy’s Ice Cream Shoppe.
“Did you go out with Ramona last night?” Kate turned around from the front seat. She draped her arm around the headrest.
“Ramona AND her brother.” Celia curled her lips and scowled.
“I’m going to guess, by the expression on your face, it didn’t go well?”
“Nope. Not at all. What a weirdo.”
“What happened?” Kate moved her arm down and squeezed Celia’s knee.
“When I first got there, he seemed normal. He was polite and handsome. He got up when I arrived at the table. Pulled out my chair too. The whole chivalry thing. After I sat down, neither of them said a word.”
“What do you mean?”
“They didn’t speak. The only time the brother spoke was when I asked him questions. Then every time he said something, he punched his fist over his head and made a booping noise.”
“What do you mean, booping noise?” Tom shook his head curiously at his wife. She was surprised he was paying attention and joined the conversation.
Celia punched her fist in the air and mimicked Walter’s catchphrase. “Boop.”
“Come on. Are you exaggerating?”
“No. I’m not exaggerating or making this up. I counted how many times he said that word, and I think he said it a million times. Well, the million is a slight exaggeration.”
Kate poked Tom in the shoulder. “Do you believe this guy?”
Tom kept his eyes on the road as he turned in to Timmy’s parking lot.
The trio walked to the dilapidated old shack. Timmy’s had been the beach’s snack bar for years. The building was situated behind a bench-lined pebbled walkway.
“What flavors are you guys getting?” Celia read the list of flavors.
“Vanilla. How about you girls?” Tom stood at the counter and waited to place their orders.
“I’ll have coffee and moose tracks.” Celia reached for her wallet. “In a waffle cone, please.”
Kate pushed Celia’s hand down. “Put that away. Our treat. I’d like caramel turtle and black raspberry. Thanks.”
Celia scrunched her nose. “Caramel and black raspberry? Together?”
“Yes, together. I love both flavors. They don’t have to complement each other. It’s ice cream. It’s fun food. Tell me more about last night.”
They walked to the walkway and sat down on the benches facing the ocean.
“Another waste of time.” Celia licked the coffee ice cream from the top of the cone. She wiped a large drip from her shorts. “Why can’t I eat ice cream without it dripping all over me?”
“What did you do with Ramona and her brother?”
“Oh, Boop Boy? Not much. We went to the bar across from my office. I left as soon as I could.” She wiped another spot of ice cream from her shorts. “Why is mine melting this fast? Yours isn’t.”
“Even if you didn’t have a good time, I’m still glad you went out. It’s good to get out occasionally.” Kate used her napkin to wipe another drop from Celia’s leg. “I think the bottom ice cream wasn’t as cold as it should be. That’s why it’s melting so fast. The kid should have put that flavor on top.”
“Forget about my night with Boop Boy and his big-chinned sister.”
“What? What about her chin?” Kate closed her eyes for a second and shook her head.
“They both have unusually large chins. They’re attractive, but, as I said, they have big chins.”
A boat raced toward the harbor—its engine loud and disruptive. “He’s not supposed to be going that fast right there.” Tom pointed his finger to the boat, as the driver cut the engine.
“What did you guys do last night?” Celia quickly licked the ice cream as it dripped down the sides of her cone.
Tom