he was too good for this. As much as he had longed for the marriage to work despite strong indicators it never would, she wasn’t going to make any real effort to give up her unfaithful ways. It was time to cut the cord. He did not need her or her family to make it, and he knew that as much as she enjoyed the lavish lifestyle Ben provided her that she would milk this allegorical cow as long as he allowed it. So in that moment as he walked from the 3rd Street Café back to his office along the faded brick sidewalk that lined Main Street in Freeden, he decided that, no matter the scars his reputation or career might take as he broke apart from Rachel and her well-known family, he was going to end this marriage once and for all. Unhappiness was no longer an option for him. Suddenly, he did not love her anymore, and when Terri told him what happened earlier at lunch, the grim hope of love returning simply vanished. As of this moment, he no longer wanted to love her.
Ben believed that love was a choice. Dr. Henson once told him that, and whether he believed his own teaching or not, Ben certainly adopted the outlook on one of the world’s most mysterious subjects. He recalled Dr. Henson saying when he asked him for Rachel’s hand in marriage: “Ben, love is work, and you make a daily choice whether or not to love someone.” A true Christian principle that, while true, came from the mouth of an authentic hypocrite.
Sometimes Rachel would get on Ben’s nerves, and he had to choose to keep loving her and look past certain things. But they were the small quarrels; things like how she never rinsed the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, and how she never cleaned around the house or picked up after herself. Those things Ben chose to get over; they were trivial. Unfaithfulness, on the other hand, which he had chosen to move past before, would not be subjected to such passive handling now. In Ben’s mind, this simply could not continue.
That day after returning to his office after lunch, he started taking notes to build a case in his own mind against Rachel. Is it just to leave her? Has she done enough wrong? One of the things he learned in the coming weeks was how much she was “going to the gym.” She would return home drenched in sweat, presumably from getting a great Insanity or P90X session in with her fitness group. Only problem was that once he checked with the gym she claimed to be attending to see if they were all paid up for the quarter, they had no record of either Ben or Rachel being members for the previous two years.
Time brings all things to light. A favorite line of Ben’s from the 2006 film All the Kings Men that proved true when all the lies told over the years finally came raining down on Rachel in one night. It was Tuesday, February 12, and Ben told her he had to leave town for three days for a class. He went to the class on that Wednesday, and after one session they had to cancel the rest of the class due to the instructor’s illness preventing him from being able to teach. So on that Wednesday night, he returned to Freeden, unbeknownst to her, and when he drove onto the street they lived on, he noticed Aaron’s truck parked in his driveway. Ben pulled over, and turned his truck off, and watched.
Sure enough, Aaron eventually exited his truck and walked to the front door, which opened and quickly closed behind him. Ben turned his truck back on and drove forward, leaving the lights off, and then parked at a diagonal view of the house from the street. He looked through the window at the now well-lit living room, and saw the two embrace, then kiss, until she finally realized the blinds were open and rushed over to shut them.
Neither of them saw Ben, he was certain, but he had seen enough for himself. As much as he had cared for her, Rachel was just too ignorant to realize this town was too small for that type of thing to go unnoticed forever. Or perhaps she thought, with the clout Dr. Henson had, that it just didn’t matter and no one would ever believe she did anything wrong.
Whatever she thought, on this night the veil was lifted from her lies.
Ben turned the lights on, then drove to the nearby Hampton Inn and checked in for the night.
The next day, Ben felt ready to divorce his wife. He was sat in his favorite spot at his favorite place, 3rd Street Café, and was mulling over these thoughts as he drank his first caffeinated beverage of the day.
There was no need to go inside of his home the night before when he found her and Aaron. Ben’s pride had told him to go in and beat the shit out of Aaron. It was so clear to him now that there could only be one reason Rachel stayed with Ben all this time: the money. He knew it to be the case, and that was the part that did actually hurt. To think she, who he had considered not only to be his wife but for the longest time his best friend, was shallow enough to use him for his money was a major blow for Ben. Whom could he trust? When he married Rachel, he just knew she was the one for him. Her kind, gentle personality was all he had ever wanted; she was a sweet soul, someone who, for the first time, granted him the feeling that the stresses of life were usually exaggerated, and that life was to be enjoyed to the fullest. She had once made him feel like his money, or money in general, did not matter, and that she was committed for the long haul to a relationship together no matter the trials they might face; but on that night where he finally caught her in her wrongdoing, he began to see clearer the scars on his soul that had worsened over time. From day one of their marriage, literally the day they married, Rachel changed. And to this point, she too, worsened, caring less about Ben and the marriage and more about herself.
Have I tried everything? He wondered if there was anything left he could do, even though his pride was telling him the marriage needed to end.
Will God be disappointed with me? He couldn’t determine if this was God’s attempted inspiration or if it was the remnant of another long, deep “talking to” from Dr. Henson, who often felt the need to have these narratives with Ben after Sunday lunches and social gatherings, perhaps because deep down he wondered if his daughter was a snake and he wanted to do all he could to ensure Ben stayed around. The idea that he simply wanted to refrain from embarrassment if the two ever split up proved more probable, though. If there is one thing Ben had learned about Dr. Henson over the years, it was that he cared about self and image more than anything and anyone, and that’s probably why he had risen to the top in the Freeden pecking order. Ben whole-heartedly believed that Dr. Henson would care more about his own embarrassment than his daughter’s well-being if they separated. Ben wondered if the talk from him, which was sure to come, about how God wanted this marriage to stay together would surely be a disguise focused on one thing: saving face for Dr. Henson. Not for Rachel or for his daughter’s marriage. Solely for the benefit of Dr. Henson.
Only a sick son of a bitch would feel this way. How did I not know who I was dealing with? Perhaps it was because Ben finally had begun to realize that people weren’t so good in Freeden. For the longest time he was engulfed in trying to raise his status in the community he grew up loving that he wondered if he had just been blinded to who Rachel and her family really were.
Sometimes people force something as long as possible, even when it is not for the best. That is what Ben believed he had done in his marriage. If he wanted true happiness, he knew what he had to do.
Before when Rachel and he nearly separated, she would sob and beg him not to say what she referred to as “the D-word.” But he knew it: the “D-word” was now the only option. And he hoped he had prepared enough for the ramifications that would ensue in this hateful, judgmental town.
There was a clatter in front of him as the waitress put his plate down on the table. The noise cleared his foggy mind and pulled him from the mist he too often got lost in. “Thank you,” he said. “I guess I was in my own little dream-world there.”
“Don’t worry, dear,” she said. “Lord knows everyone else in this town is, too.”
She was right, and Ben hated her for it. Today that would end though. He wouldn’t succumb to this town and its judgmental ways. It was time to live his life the way he wanted to, and damn anyone who frowned on him for that.
He devoured his scrambled eggs, praising the cook for doing a good job with the most key detail of such a dish. Scrambled eggs were way easier to eat in a hurry. He slammed back the rest of his coffee and headed for the door. His office awaited.
“What the hell happened to you?” Brenda Haley, his administrative assistant, who had worked