Sins & Secrets. NICHOLA HARVEY

love you.”

      I turned my head and lovingly gazed down at her. “Goodnight, my lovely,” I whispered gently pressing my lips to her head.

      An alarm beeped madly on Teddy’s bedside table, waking me with a start. My bleary eyes peeled open in time to observe an arm flinging out from beneath the sheet. A slender hand violently hit the button, silencing the deafening noise.

      “What did that poor clock ever do to you?”

      Swivelling her head over the pillow, Teddy smiled, her hazel eyes shining brightly, and mischievously as she stared at me. I too had her number.

      “Hello, gorgeous.”

      Her cute nose wrinkled. “Good morning to you too, handsome.” Lifting the bed sheet, she peaked underneath, and then back at me, biting down on her bottom lip. “Such a shame to waste this…,” she simpered floating both hands over my torso. I silently thanked the heavens above they were warm before she shamelessly began exploring my nether regions.

      I grunted at the feel of her long fingers cupping my balls and the tip of her tongue tickling the swollen head of my cock. “We….can’t leave…your day unsatisfied now, can we?”

      “Hm, yum,” she purred, licking away the precum seeping over the crest.

      I preempted her next move and consequently swiftly flipped us over, pinning her wriggling body beneath me. Pushing her legs wide with my knees, she moaned, her back arching off the bed as I rapidly sank inside her warm, glistening sex.

      “No, my turn. You had your wicked way with me last night.”

      “No fair.” Succulent lips pouted and panted with want. We locked eyes, and her pupils dilated. Her guileless gaze darkened to a deep sea-green completely possessing me, so I completely possessed her, mind, body, and soul.

      “We need to get out of the shower. Otherwise, we won’t ever get out, and we’ll both be late for work,” Teddy informed me of, reaching for the tap. I swatted her hand away and took her into my arms.

      “So, be late,” I murmured, peppering kisses along her clavicle and biting down on her shoulder.

      “All right for some, but I can’t imagine Spencer being impressed by my tardiness,” she retorted tartly, wriggling against me.

      “You can just blame me,” I said, skimming my lips up the side of her throat.

      She moaned. “No, I can’t…as much as I want too.”

      “Well, what’s the problem then?” I joked. That was my first mistake; the second was my attempt to grab Teddy as she took a step back.

      Terror flashed across her face. “I said NO!” Leaping from the shower, she ran away from me and out of the bathroom, sans the towel.

      Puzzled as to what scared her off, I stared after her. That went without saying, ascertaining any answers wouldn’t happen if I stayed in here. I shut the water down and stepped onto the mat, reefing two towels off the heated rail on my way past as I wandered out of the bathroom.

      I didn’t have to look far. I found a shivering Teddy huddled on the floor in the corner of her expansive wardrobe. My first instinct was to wrap the warm towel around her; it was fruitless. She shook her head heatedly and proceeded to shuffle further away from me. “Teddy, please, you’re freezing.”

      “No!”

      Dejected, my knees dropped to the hard timber floors. “It was never my intention to frighten you.”

      “I know,” Teddy whispered, so quiet it was barely audible.

      Concerned, my brow furrowed. “If I did, I apologise. I couldn’t…would not. Not in that way; it would be abhorrent,” I added, running a hand through my wet hair. “Teddy, please say something, I’m starting to freak out here.” I was too afraid to touch the woman I loved all because she was frightened. Of what though?

      “I know you wouldn’t – not like he did,” she sniffled, fighting a losing war with her tears. “I’ll explain to you one day, but…not right now…I…I just can’t.”

      Who was he? Moreover, what did he do? Although my gut told me otherwise, I wasn’t about to speculate either. I stiffly nodded, agreeing with her. What else could I have said? “Okay, I’ll wait for you.” Like always.

      “You’ll hate me,” Teddy quietly told me. That was a load of bollocks right there.

      “No, Teddy, I could never, I love you,” I declared reaching out, only to have her cower away from me, taking me aback. “Trust me, please.”

      “I do. I’m sorry.”

      “Don’t apologise. Can we cover you up at least?” I sensed her trepidation and prodded gently, “Please? You’re shaking.” Precariously, she moved into my lap, permitting me to cover her with the now cold towel. Relief flowed through me.

      Resting my cheek against the crown of her head, I tightened my embrace, wondering what on earth had happened to the rambunctious girl I remembered growing up with all those years ago.

       ∞

       Teddy

      Tugging the dress over my head, I mulled over my request, making Ari leave me be while I dressed. I just felt dirty and unattractive, even though he’d seen me naked many times already. Facing him right now was inconceivable. How could I, after that little freak out in the shower? He might not want to confront me either; the thought depressed me.

      I slumped into the upholstered chair in the corner of my wardrobe and perched my elbows on my knees, covering my blotched face with my hands. It had taken me ten years – ten bloody years to face my fears, and just when I finally had the man of my dreams, I freak out, scaring him half to death.

      Why did everything have to be so damned complicated? Swiping away my tears with the backs of my hands, I snatched up my tan peep-toes off the floor and tiptoed over the floorboards. The adjoined door soundlessly slid open and disappeared inside the wall cavity as I looked over at Ari, his beautiful frame standing by the bay window as he dressed. He was clearly struggling too, making my heart painfully wrench more than it already was.

      Oh, Ari, I am so, so sorry for the way I’ve made you feel. As I warred with my thoughts, my brows furrowed; I realised losing him was no longer an option, but then neither was destroying him. Now, as I watched Ari staring off into the oblivion, I saw my past already was – I had to let him go.