The Wife Led Marriage. London Storm

better. The sense of connection is greater. Can we get a little deeper? Of course, for men, a deep desire to serve exists in many of us. Wife led marriage’s tap into that desire and provide the man a mission to serve. The dynamic is that the husband empowers the wife to lead and the wife empowers the husband to serve. When this happens both husband and wife can discover a greater happiness together.

      Women in a loving wife led marriage often feel more supported and secure. That support translates to a deeper level of trust which leads to a deeper level of intimacy. It may take a while and it ultimately allows the women to be free, and empowered to lead the relationship how she feels.

      Speaking for myself, the road to a wife led marriage started with me and my desires. I can say that many of them revolved around the fantasy of being a submissive man to a dominant woman. These fantasies are strong. As I continued to examine and express these fantasies, I came upon the concept of a female led relationship. As I researched this topic, I learned how we are in uncharted territory on this subject. It’s a personal decision and it is based on many factors and you need full agreement to make it happen successfully.

      A majority of the FLR material available focuses on female domination and the BDSM lifestyle to some extent. Which makes it some form of chocolate not vanilla in nature, if you know what I mean. And so here lies the rub, you are in a traditional marriage arrangement and now you want to try a wife led marriage. You burn with a desire to let your submissive side out and be of more service to your wife, and yet all the propaganda is domination flavored. This makes it hard to introduce this lifestyle to your partner if they are not already interested in this. This can be real turn off for a lot of women and men. Female domination of a male is not a wife led marriage, it is something different.

      For those who do not know, Femdom, is a word used to indicate a woman being superior to a man. A Femdom relationship is where the women is in charge and has a higher status than the man. This is not what I refer to as a wife led marriage. Femdom is different and not something that will be introduced as a part of a loving wife led marriage.

      In looking at all what is published on the topics of a female led relationship, it became clear to me that few books existed from the male perspective for the normal guy, and how it can play out in a real marriage. A great book is “Worshipping Your Wife: Six Steps for Turning Marriage Back Into Passionate Courtship” by Mark Remond. The author dives into the world of serving your wife and portrays this in a loving way. It is a worthwhile read and provides a sound framework on the benefits of a wife led marriage. As much as I adore that book, and I do, as it helped me tremendously in getting a picture of the knight serving the queen framework clear, it left out some of the inner mental work that happens along this voyage.

      Part of this book is to dive into some of the methodology and take a look at the inner growth needed to make this happen in one’s life. It is a fun and rewarding journey if you can get your head around it in the right space. A lot of growth will happen in your relationship in making this transformation. To define transformation, it is operating from a different place. In a wife led marriage, the husband and wife are transformed and operating from a different place than the traditional marriage roles. It is wonderful, scary, exciting, and full of surprises for both.

      Chapter 3 Setting the Pace

      I heard this story once of a guy who was interested in having a threesome with his wife meaning him, his wife and another woman. He sits his wife down and takes her through the idea. She agrees to try it, and to her surprise, he has another woman waiting in the next room to get started. I suggest not utilizing this approach. Get this message clear, this will take time to blossom especially if you are in a more traditional marriage. And that is perfectly fine. O-100 mph rarely works in these types of situations.

      This begs the question for a husband who wants to introduce this to his wife; how do you go about it? I am going to discuss options that are available to try, learn and implement. A lot of this comes down to discipline, desire, courage and trust.

      I said earlier that desire plays a strong part in implementing a wife led marriage. That is true. First and foremost, you need to want this. You need to have a desire to have this type of relationship. I find the best way to do these types of things are through use of the fundamental rules for success.

      Implementing a wife led marriage is similar to a personal growth program because it is not a light switch that you can just turn on. Maybe for a few, it will work that way. For the rest of us, it is a process with turns and obstacles, mostly internal. Robin Sharma, a personal mastery teacher, says “all change is hard at first, messy in the middle and beautiful at the end”. For many of us, this will be the mantra in implementing a wife led marriage in your life.

      Is it worth it? If you dream of having your wife be free and assertive in both the bedroom and the home then yes, absolutely, this is for you. Happy wife, happy life.